Im 21 years old, and my girlfriend is 22 we are both enrolled in college she is further along then i, she will graduate in May. Her family is very judgemental and strict my family is very supportive however somewhat displeased with past mistakes in the way of pot and partying, and expect out of me only good decisions. I have no home, no money, a 12 dollar an hour job, and i just found out on Sunday that my girlfriend is pregnant, my uncle owns a construction company and i might ask him to help me with a job, and a better than everyone else salary, and i might ask my grandfather which is who i live with for about 15,000 dollars for a down payment on a home, get married to my girlfriend, and have the child successfully in 7 months.Please pray that i find the words to go to my uncle and my grandfather for help.
2007-01-01 22:08:53 · 8 answers · asked by Drew P 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Look, don't mean to be judgemental but what are you doing getting your girlfriend pregnant when you know that you are not ready for the consequences? Irrespective of age, you're not in a position to have a child. Some 22/23 year olds are ready and financial able, but it's not a good idea to give up your education to start a family.
But that aside, you are in this situation now and must live with the consequences. You'll make it work. You have to ask for help. Just do it. Hopefully you will learn from this and take better control of your future from here on. Don't get married if it's not something you want to do. You can still be a good father and support the mother. Good luck!
2007-01-01 22:49:08 · answer #1 · answered by Lauren D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you need to both get a job, borrow just enough money to get a small apartment, and get a pell grant from your college. That way..you can start your new life together economicaly, because any house you have to pay 15, 000 dollar down payment on, isnt going to have a house payment that a 12 dollar an hour job will pay for. She should get a job as well, because she was there too...if you know what i mean. She will be fine to go to work and school during pregnancy, she is very young. Last....tell you families how you feel about each other. Be honest with them , and let them know that you are going to make a concious effort to make this work. I have a feeling that when you do that, they will start wanting to help and things will work out for you all~ ALL MY BEST WISHES to all THREE of you!
2007-01-01 23:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by alybama76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Getting married because of a baby is not a good reason. It is the socially acceptable thing to do.. but not always the right thing to do. You need to make sure your girlfriend actually WANTS to get married. She may have other ideas. Sit down and discuss it with her. She may actually be offended if you suggest marriage because of the baby.. as it may make her feel like you are saying "well, now that you are pregnant lets get married" instead of, "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you".
Next.. there are many programs that could help with childcare costs so that your girlfriend can continue her education. If you DONT get married, she can call dshs and ask for childcare assistance. That will help insure she can start working without having to worry about how much daycare costs, if she chooses to work. You are not that bad off at 12 dollars an hour.. but dont rush into buying a home. Look into renting for a year or so. You can rent a home, or an apartment/condo/duplex.. and save your money. Having a baby is expensive, dont rush into a huge financial strain all at once. Dont be afraid to ask your family for help, but make sure and speak with your girlfriend before you make any big decisions she may not want you to make. You should finish school. It may be hard now.. but it will improve your childs life in the long run
2007-01-01 22:33:22 · answer #3 · answered by Kristin B 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you need to do is make sure your girlfriend wants to marry you and raise this child with you.
Then you need to open a bank account. DO NOT get a house payment right not. Find a nice safe place to rent. You are WAY TO YOUNG to have a house payment.
12 dollars an hour and you are complaining. OH MY GOD..!!
Im 37 and I only make 8.90 and hour.
It is good that you are looking to the future and what you can do to start helping.
Your finishing college and should make sure your girlfriend does also.
Right now you should stay with your grandfather and maybe see if you and your girlfriend and soon to be baby could stay with him for a while and save money, while you take care of his house of course.
Be careful and calm down.
2007-01-01 22:21:54 · answer #4 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is get a job. You cant depend on others to pay for your mistakes. Raising a kid isnt cheap. I hope your Uncle can help you out and find a position for you. Your girlfriend needs to work too until she's unable because of her pregnancy. It takes two to pull the cart. Consider renting a small apartment or house until you get on your feet financially. $15,000 is alot of money to ask someone for. Asking for a rent deposit on a house or apartment would be cheaper then a mortgage.
2007-01-05 05:27:02 · answer #5 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, would you chill, 21 and 22 is a very healthy time to have children. When your gf has the baby, your grandfather can watch him or her, and she can work. Old people love connections to young people, your grandfather was probably already bored with life and sad at his lack of connection to society.
Nothing is good or bad- thinking makes it so.
2007-01-01 22:13:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance turns 21 this weekend and i'm 22 weeks pregnant. it's tough for everyone. Even though we do have a house and by fiance has graduated college it still seems like it's going to be a burden, that's becuas eit is . it's tough on everyone even when plan a child. i'm sure everything is going to be fine. love is more important that meterial things and i hope you learn that in life. God will lead you in the right path if you let him
2007-01-02 01:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WILL PRAY FOR YOU BUT IT'S PRETTY HARD TO FEEL SORRY FOR A SMART MAN WHO DIDN'T USE BIRTH CONTROL. YOU SOW, YOU REAP!
2007-01-02 00:39:32 · answer #8 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋