I've been going out with this guy for only 4 weeks but we have made a strong connection. He's thinking about moving to France for one year to finish his master's. He's really confused about whether to go or not. Obviously I don't want him to go. What should I do? I don't want him to resent me later for making him stay but at the same time i don't know if we can do the long distance thing so early in the relationship. If he chooses to go should I break up with him or not. How should I handle this?
2007-01-01 21:48:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the right thing here would be for him to go and finish his studies, when it comes to stuff like this there no time to be selfish, if you were in his shoes you wouldn't want someone to pick right and besides its only been 4 weeks, let him go, you dont want someone hating you when things go sour
2007-01-01 21:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by king of spain 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Breaking or maintaining depends on teh intensity of ur relationship. If thats only at physical level and u are nt that emotional toucy, probably break away. But if the case is more of emotional and seriousness, I will suggest let him go and wait. Time will let u know very soon whether u too are eligible for a long journer or not. And this is a good sign(if u are serious in a relationship to be developed) that at the start of the relationship u are facing such issues.
2007-01-01 21:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by HB2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance doesn't usually work. Finishing his masters in France is a wonderful oportunity. I would tell him to go and you guys can see about hooking back up when he returns if it is convenient for both parties. I understand that you may not want him to go and don't want to be blamed if he stays behind because of you. In order to make him take this great oportunity-you could break it off now and then send him a letter in a few months or call him and explain why you did what you did.
2007-01-01 21:54:28 · answer #3 · answered by blueeyes19806 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do NOT make him choose between you and his goals. In this modern world with the miracle of technology, you don't have to break up with someone just because you're not on the same continent for a while. My daughter had a boyfriend for quite some time who lives in Denmark.
Also (remember this yourself) any time someone is forced to choose, for example, "either your friend goes, or I do," the person forcing the choice is the one who should be dumped. They are too controlling. So you're right, making him stay will only cause him to wonder later on what might have been. Nothing sux worse than that.
2007-01-01 21:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by cruztacean1964 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how it is to have a strong connection after so short a time, but I would not issue an ultimatum this early in the relationship. Let me go and see how the long distance stuff works. You can keep in contact with him and see if you both want to be exclusive after he gets back.
2007-01-01 21:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think having that education will also benefit for you two someday. Just like I watch in the movies... "if you really love the person... set him/her free". But in your case, I think he will appreciate more if you'll be with him and support him with his dream. It'll only take a year and you can always contact each other. It's a big sacrifice but why easily give up? Besides, relationships comes with sacrifices. Don't breakup, don't let the one-year-long-distance thing stuck between you two. Do your best for each other then let's see what happens. Just hope for the best.
2007-01-01 22:22:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 weeks is still quite short even if you guys did make a strong connection. You should allow him to go and finish his Master's. "If you love someone let them go, if they come back, then that's how you know." So take a chance and let fate take care of it. You guys should agree to at least try to stay in touch. Good luck and Happy New Year.
2007-01-01 21:52:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relax, don't break up with him. He is going for higher studies not to marry his childhood sweetheart. Be positive, learn patience. If the seeds of love has been properly sown, when he returns you can harvest plenty of love, a granery full of love. But negative feelings only hinder growth. What if he does not go to france but decides to connect with someone else, right in front of you ? What do you do ?
2007-01-01 21:55:28 · answer #8 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y dont u go with him? its only 4 a year... could b fun! besides its not fair to make him stay... afterall it would b an awesome experience 4 him... u could always go over there will him 4 a couple of months and then try the distance thing or just go and stay with him 4 a while... Good luck
2007-01-01 21:53:55 · answer #9 · answered by becstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to choose either way. If you force his hand, what you're saying, in essence is: "I won't be here for you, if and when you come back, so choose now!"
Would you rather end it like that, or allow it to follow its' natural course to the end, one way or the other? If you don't push it, who knows? You might end up with his babies and a nice house and car...if you force him to choose, you may see him ride by in a year with your best girlfriend on their way to the airport to go back to France together!
2007-01-01 21:52:40 · answer #10 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋