I am a mother of 3 children and also have 2 step-children in my care, my husband works away from our town and is only home for 1 week out of 4. With 3 of the children in school and 1 just starting kindy my youngest being 16 months I feel I need some me time, is this wrong? I chose to be a stay at home mum and look after our kids now I want some time just on my own, It only works out that my youngest would be in care for 8 hours per week. Am I trying to have the best of both worlds or should I reward myself and stop feeling guilty and have some time to myself???? Confused and not knowing if Im doing the right thing....
2007-01-01 21:18:14 · 11 answers · asked by jucielucy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have every right to some 'me' time, so go for it!! I also have a husband who works away (he is away for 3 weeks, home for 1) and I have 2 children, both at school now. When my youngest was still at home I went back to work for 10 hours a week and it was the best thing I ever did. I feel that for me personally, that small break away actually made me a better mum. By the time I paid for child care costs I really wasn't making much money out of it, but it wasn't really about the money to me! When your husband is away you become both mum and dad, which can be very demanding. So don't feel guilty, the very fact that you are concerned about it in the first place just proves that you are putting your kids needs before your own and that this is not a selfish act. Motherhood is racked with guilt, no matter what choices we make so you just need to do whats best for you. Best of luck!!
2007-01-01 21:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are letting your child play with other children for 8 hours a week and feeling guilty why? What you are using is a mothers day out program and you are just trying to be a good parent. Having a little time to just be you if important because it enables you to be a better Mom and wife. You have the total care of 5 children you are allowed to have a few hours each week for yourself and with your husbands schedule the only way to get it is with childcare. Other women will leave the kids with the husband and go shopping you do not have this option so go for it. God bless you and your fine family.
2007-01-01 22:45:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there will be a problem with only eight hours a week in day care. I normally hate day care and advise against it. After all, you do not want strangers raising your child. But eight hours a week would give you a good rest and the child does have to learn to be away from you at some point.
After the baby has been in day care for a while, you will be able to tell if this is the right decision by the way he/she acts at home.
Please be very careful though. Many children do not talk at 16 months and it is not wise to be too casual about leaving a nonverbal child in a strangers care.
2007-01-01 22:12:57 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not feel guilty at all! I have three children and a step son and my three all went to childcare full time from when they were young so that I could get a university degree and now I work full time as a teacher on a good wage. I have bought a beautiful house, and 1 year later bought a 20 acre holiday property which my kids just love! You need to do things for you, in order to be the best parent you can be.
2007-01-01 21:22:33 · answer #4 · answered by snazzproductions 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty at all. We all need me time. I have twin boys 2 year old boys and going to school. When my husband is out of town for longer then a week, I put my boys in daycare all day long so I can do homework, housework, go to the gym and take care of the one person who is taking care of all the kids (the hubby included). If mama isn't happy, then no one is happy.
2007-01-01 21:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 hours a week! Sounds perfect. You're a good mom to stay home with them, but I know a few hours on your own does wonders for your well being, and in turn, their's too. Don't feel guilty. You'll have more energy for them when they're around. Enjoy!
2007-01-01 21:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hun i was always told "quality parenting time over quantity parenting time"...i think of this whenever i'm stressed or feel run-down...you can't always be super-mum, we get tired, worn-out, hassled etc...i think you are doing the right thing to have some time to yourself and you parenting will reflect this...you could decide to be home with bub everyday and maybe get moody or hassled, or have a day to yourself and feel re-energised and wanting to be home again...from another mum's point of view, have some time to yourself....
2007-01-01 21:29:01 · answer #7 · answered by holdengal81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that is normal for you to need time by yourself. In fact it even benefits your child. Daily interaction with other children, not including siblings, can improve your child's communication and social skills.
It sounds like you are very much abandoned by your husband, have you any family who are local that you can have suport from?
ALWAYS find time for yoruself I say! x
2007-01-01 21:35:48 · answer #8 · answered by Fairy Dust :*:*: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not doing the right thing. Leaving a kid in child care because you want time for yourself is totally selfish and uncalled for. If you chose to be a stay at home mom, then BE one.
2007-01-01 21:32:43 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
As many things that goes on in day cares, child abuse and molestation to name a few, I wouldn't put my children at risk. The guilt of leaving them with someone would far override my need to have alone time.
2007-01-02 00:05:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋