I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months and we are currently in a long distance relationship (I live in Vancouver, BC and he lives in Regina, SK). We switch between visits every other month. The question of me possibly moving out came out a couple months ago, and it was a real surprise to me. I'm 18 (and he's 20), just graduated from high school and has absolutely no plans for the future. So I guess it would make sense to go since I have no strings here in BC. I've talked to some family relatives about me doing this and they think I should do it (they've all met him). I too would also love to move out there, but I'm a little scared to do it. I get homesick pretty easily and I'm just a big family person in general, so to leave all my family is a deal to me. But I'm probably just scared in general.
I would just like your opinion on this. Sorry if it sounds confusing at all.
Thanks in advance.
2007-01-01 21:05:59 · 22 answers · asked by modrn_romanc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Bad idea, you'll be far from home, + you are too young.
2007-01-01 21:08:14 · answer #1 · answered by Trinity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move if you want, but don't move IN with him. Get your own place. You are too young to be diving into this. Aren't you planning some post-secondary education? Regina has a great university, and there are technical school, etc. as well. Regina is a really nice city, but it is a world away from Vancouver.
What's holding him in Regina? If it's for the same reasons as you, family, then that is not fair. How about the two of you meet in the middle, say Edmonton?
Think long and hard before you do this. You haven't known each other long enough to make a commitment, and moving in together is a bad idea. It's different if you just move out on your own with a plan to do schooling or work. You aren't fully mature yet at 18; my gosh, your brain hasn't even finished developing yet!
2007-01-02 05:37:23 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not recommend moving in together before marriage. In your case, I would especially recommend against it, partially because of your age, partially because it sounds like it will be your first time living away from home, and partially because you've only known him for seven months, and all of that time has been long distance.
Living with someone creates all sorts of complicated situations that you may not even realize ahead of time. Also, you have no idea what you want to do with your life... this isn't a good thing. Being undecided is okay, but do you have any options out there? Are you considering college? Would this move prevent you from doing that? How do you plan on being able to pay rent/utilities/insurance/etc. with just a high school diploma? How are you going to divide the expenses? How are you going to budget your expenses? Who gets the furniture when you break up? Do you have a backup plan if you break up two weeks from now?
2007-01-02 05:15:58 · answer #3 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really don't think it's a good idea to move in with him. Deep down I think you know that or else you wouldn't post this Q. Take this from a me as I moved in with my BF after a year of dating him, lived together for 2 years and got burned at the end.
If it doesn't work for you guys guess who's gonna have to move out in a strange city that's all new to you? I don't oppose you moving there but don't move in with him. Get your own place and continue your relationship from there... once you live with someone you loose that magic...and all these points aside, if you have future marriage plans with this guy this is the beginning of the end for sure!
2007-01-02 05:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just did a similar thing. Blinded by love, full of dreams of a wonderful NEW life. I don`t want to scare you , but you really have to consider EVERYTHING. For me it was a failure. I just returned to Vancouver after living in Montreal. I even had my car to drive to feel mobile. The grass might not be any greener on the other side of the fence as it is here. In my case, I didn`t want to look back 19 years from now wishing I had. So I went, testing myself to the limit, only to admit failure and return to Vancouver where I belong. Good luck, let your brain as well as your hart make the decision.
2007-01-02 05:30:45 · answer #5 · answered by grtoo9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do, you will probably regret it. You are very young and moving so far away from your family is not the best idea in the world. I mean, what if you do move in with him and then things get rocky... who will you turn to since your family and friends will be so far away? Follow you heart is good advice, but remember to keep a level head also. What does your family think about this? What about your friends? Just be careful and think things through. Best wishes.
2007-01-02 05:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush things. Take it easy. Spend as much time as you can with your family. Move in together when you are married or else the relationship may become stale. If you are in two minds about it already, then you might as well wait until you really feel comfortable doing it. Good luck.
2007-01-02 05:16:34 · answer #7 · answered by Nats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're still too young to be making that big a commitment. Live on your own and learn about who you are and then think about moving in together. Its really a huge step. The opportunity for me to move in with my boyfriend when I was 18 and I chose not to and I'm really glad I did. Living on my own has helped me to grow in ways I hadn't even thought about. Think about it carefully and seek councel from your higher power or from a close friend or relative. Whatever decision you make, try to give yourself options. If you do move to be with him, make sure you have a fall back plan, a friend to crash with if need be.
2007-01-02 05:09:14 · answer #8 · answered by Heather 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should move in with him. He'll be just like family. If you start to miss your family, just visit home often. Being homesick is natural, and I'm sure you'll get over it in no time.
Don't be scared, everyone has to move some point in their lives, and it'll be fine. I'm sure it will. You're very family oriented and so if you ever need help, go to them. Your boyfriend, since he's liked by your family is probably a very sweet guy and thus, there's nothing to be afriad of.
2007-01-02 05:11:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Give it a try. Live your life without regret later on.
But always be prepare to leave since both of you are so young and anything can happen for its TOTALLY different when living together.
2007-01-02 05:14:53 · answer #10 · answered by Badmanfor3v3r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should at least give it a try. There are plenty of ways of keeping in touch with your family, letters, telephone, email, not to mention visits to them occasionally. If it does not work out and you still get homesick, you can always return home, but if you do not try it, you will not find out if you can manage to live away from your family.
Lots of luck with whatever you decide to do!
2007-01-02 05:10:44 · answer #11 · answered by Belinda 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋