Whenever I make a plan with her she always says "I don't know". I ask her if she thinks we'll be together in 1 year - "i don't know". I ask her to come to celebrate my b-day with me, "i don't know - i gotta go to my dads." How about on Saturday , "I don't know." Am I wrong for being frustrated? Am I wrong for wanting to leave her? I want to leave her but I'm afraid of being alone, forever. (I'm not the most social person in real life.) I am really good to her - buy her flowers, computer, took her around the east coast.
Mind you, she said that I should ignore her body language and listen to her words only. I said NO I can't ignore body language - its essential communication to maintain a healthy relationship. Sometimes, I think she just wants to feed off my anger/agony!
In addition, about 1.5 years ago she told my ex-good friend (her ex) that we hooked up. She never hooked up with him (thank the lord)
2007-01-01 20:27:29 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She knew he was a very jealous person, and very abusive. To this day, she gives me a generic excuse for doing it. I even asked her two hours earlier NOT to say anything about our private life to him or anyone.
My closest friends live about 105 miles away in Maine. Right now, because of the winter I don't drive.
2007-01-01 20:28:12 · update #1
Today is my 26th bday, and she is 22 (9/11).
2007-01-01 20:46:04 · update #2
I know she isn't clay, and that I cannot mold her to what I want. I want her but I don't want all this stress associated with her.
2007-01-01 21:20:28 · update #3
Sounds to me like you are holding on to her too tight. Fear of being alone is not a reason good enough to have a relationship with someone. Maybe she feels this. Us women have pretty good intuition and we sense these things.
She may feel that the relationship is to mechanical and that you expect her to be the image of the perfect partner that you have in mind.
You can never balance out a relationship by what you've done for someone, rather its always about what more you are willing to do.
I'd advise you to try to get to know her for who she is. Forget about ending up alone, forget about how you feel and know what a relationship should be. You cannot plan things, let it take its course.
She cares for you and that's why she's still in the relationship but her negative answers are a result of feeling like a thing in your life and not a person. loosen up a bit and try to start things over with her. Good luck.
2007-01-01 21:12:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be that she's afraid of being alone as well. She may be bored but doesn't want to end it for this reason. I say that if you have the willingness to give each other space, it would be the best thing right now. Maybe then the both of you can think through how you feel and what good can come out of the relationship.
Sometimes people piss others off on purpose. I've learned it's to see how much the other person can handle. It's kinda stupid because eventually it pushes the other person over the edge, but it happens anyway.
2007-01-01 20:37:37 · answer #2 · answered by Parks H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what her "I don't know" means. It could mean alot of things. Don't say this to her, I'm telling you. She may not know yet. Maybe, she is a one day at a time girl. She may really not know what she is doing. Maybe, she is expecting a better offer. I don't know, really. As I said, it could mean a number of things. You don't say how old she is. She may not be very mature. It kind of sounds like you have already made your decision about not being with her. If you make that decision its sad for her because she hasn't had the time that you have had to process it. It sounds like you have been thinking about for awhile. If you are afraid of being alone, you don't need someone else to make you complete. You are complete by yourself. The other person compliments you. If you decide to be with her, I think you are going to have to trust her. But as I said, you can always keep your eyes and ears open. Good Luck.
2007-01-01 20:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by CURTIS TERI C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, tell someone you know and trust immediately that you are feeling this way. Do not kill yourself, for whatever you are feeling now will blow over. Trust me, I've suffered from depression. If you kill yourself, nothing good will come from that. Relationships at your age are unstable, do not expect to find the love of your life at the age of 18. Some people do, but most people don't. If you kill yourself, you will never find your true love, and your true love will be deprived of you.
2016-03-29 04:13:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a valid reason for being frustrated. a lack of communication is bad for a relationship, and it sounds like shes not all-in. sit her down and tell her that you're concerned about the lack of communication, and say you're willing to work on it if she is. also let her know (if this is how you feel) that you don't think shes all-in the relationship, and give her a free out. if she doesn't take it, then good, get to work fixing the problems.
if she takes it, then you were just wasting your time on someone who didn't care for you like they should. no loss. you don't want to spend time on someone who doesn't want to spend time on you.
and as for being scared of being lonely for the rest of your life, that just sounds like an excuse on your part for not having the grapes to leave her.
i could be completely wrong. use your best judgment.
2007-01-01 20:38:00 · answer #5 · answered by bigwoodenhead 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A girl, nor anyone, will change overnight. If she can't change to or isn't willing to change to the person you need her to be, it won't happen anytime soon...it takes years for someone to change. She isn't teh person for you. Even if you have to be alone for some time, at least you're spending time finding someone who does appreciate you. DON'T SETTLE. You're just wasting your youth away, there's someone out there who will treat you like you need to be treated. Loneliness sucks, trust me, but it's better than wasting time with someone who is just ruining your life.
Maybe just the shick of you dumping her will make her want to change; if not, she's not worth it....there are too many fish in the sea
2007-01-01 20:34:56 · answer #6 · answered by Jay Mak 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well obviously she is either purposly trying to get you to break up with her, or maybe she does feed off your anger. either way let your heart decide if she is a keeper or not because there can honestly be a much better girl out there for you that not only will you treat her right but she will treat you right in return and you deserve that just like any other person
2007-01-01 20:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One sure way to cure her is to make plans for just yourself, dont say one word to her either way and see what she has to say, dont complain to her about the way she is, she wants attention at your expense. You sound like a wonderful bf.I dont think your wrong for feeling frustrated or wanting to leave, the fact that you mention leaving makes me think you dont love her enough anymore, you wont be alone for long, lots of women looking for a nice guy. I like the buying flowers part.
2007-01-01 20:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by spuds_suds 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never understood why women treated good men badly. You sound entirely too sane for this woman.
I understand you're afraid of being alone, but if this is your ONLY alternative, maybe you're better off alone. You sound intelligent and thoughtful, I can't imagine you'll be alone forever, or even for long.
2007-01-01 20:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need become more social. she doesn't want a relationship so you need to force yourself to stop letting her use you and move on. as soon as you can go out and join a group somewhere, a book club, writing class, cooking class, whatever you find interesting and go meet some new people. you can make new friends and you may even find a women more suited to you!! they are out there you just have to stop being afraid and go look. i know its hard to start over but its worth it to meet someone who your going to be happy with right?? so tell her to hit the road and prepare to start a new chapter. if your bored and need someone to talk to feel free to contact me, i'll always write back!! GOOD LUCK!!
2007-01-01 20:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋