he says he loves me a lot but says he doesnt want to hurt me because he knows nothing can happen & so he says no commitments from the angle of love ever in our life.manytimes he says i love you as a great friend so i should never leave him & that he is with me until death.nowadays he wants me to get married as soon as possible with some good guy and although his whole family wants him to get marry still he doesnt want to get married himself inspite of his marriagable age.i want to leave him as i feel typical & sometimes ashamed to be in contact with a guy who knows what i feel for him.
he is very successful in his carreer.i dont know his family personally as i met him thru net, we are having different religions, he has a very conservative family,exactly opposite of mine.many yrs ago his relation with a girl broke just as they were about to marry since than he didnt trusted girls as i heard although i never felt that.ther's a 7yrs difference in our ages which bothers him.
2007-01-01 20:08:51 · 25 answers · asked by ME 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
please suggest me should i leave him forever although it will be too hard and i really dont know wether i'll be successful in doing that as i tried this before too
or not or should i stay there for him as his close, trust worthy friend all thru my life when only he stands as a person with whom i wanted to spend my life with.
2007-01-01 20:15:39 · update #1
Men don't lie when it comes to avoiding commitment. For whatever are his reasons he won't make a commitment to you. I know this may be very painful for you and that there may be some love there but it is not enough. Please listen to yourself and hear what you are saying - he doesn't want to get married, and you do. You can't change him and it's best if you accept his choice in spite of everything you feel. It doesn't matter anything else he is saying - that he doesn't want to get married is all you should listen to. Please let him go, and know that you have done the best thing for yourself, and for him.
2007-01-08 02:37:02 · answer #1 · answered by Isabel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should leave because you are wasting your time trying to get someone to feel the same as you if he has told you numerous times, he's not interested.
This kind of relationship will take a serious toll on your self esteem in the long run, and you are the only one who can value yourself enough to go on with your llife.
You seem to be at the stage that you may have difficulty leaving the relaionship because you seem locked into waiting for someone to become available who is not available to you.
I understand you're feeling ashamed for talking to him. That's your conscience.. Listen to it, and get on with your life.
Find someone who will value the gift you have to offer. or better still, learn the difference between being alone and being lonely. It's a big one, and when you've learned to be alone in your own skin and enjoy it, you will be ready to share with another person. Until then you are desperate, and desperate people do desperate things, like pursuing someone who isn't in their best interest
Good luck and good love for yourself
2007-01-01 20:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by annie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really A very difficult situation.
I was trying to understand the situation from his point of view. If he loves u and still want u to get married to other person, maybe he has some serious physical problem ( I believe u understand ).
So better you choose your partner, since till he says yes there is no point following him.
But friendship can be kept, no harm in that..
2007-01-09 04:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sandeep G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In love there is no middle way. Either he loves you and is willing to give you everything or He does not love you and can give you nothing. In this case he does not love you. You should leave him. He is only keeping you hanging on like an ornament or maybe because of his insecurities. You have better things to do in life than be an ornament on him to show off to his friends or to look after his insecurity.
You must get busy as you will shortly be meeting the prince of your dream and you must receive him well. The future is very promising than why should you hang on this piece of dead wood ?
2007-01-07 20:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the bottom line is that he is not attracted to you. he only cares about you as a friend. He feels guilty for not wanting you the way you want him, so he's telling you to get married to someone else (that's his nicer way of saying "leave me alone, don't expect love/commitment from me")
seems like he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend (the girl he almost married), and he could be in the hopes of getting back together with her. either way, you shouldn't marry a guy who isn't ready to settle down with you. you can honestly tell him that you don't feel comfortable being just his friend.
instead of assuming, ask him more questions to make your decision.
2007-01-02 10:53:48 · answer #5 · answered by Twinkle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like you already know what you want to do.... STOP TALKING TO HIM.... You know is the best thing to do. HE is not into you , he doesn't want to be with you he keeps telling you and all you are doin is getting more and more hurt, frustrated and disappointed over a guy that simply does not care for you. He will say all that crap just so you wont think that he is an *** ( which is the true) Just STOP, move one to better and brighter things. The world is waiting for you and you are waisting your time on the wrong guy.
2007-01-01 20:22:54 · answer #6 · answered by jayden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
I think you should leave him. I can understand that this is very
difficult, but you hve to do it. He is hurting your self respect. I suggest that you put your mind in something else. Get so busy that you have no time for him. When he realizes that your time is more valuable and you are more valuable then anything else in this world. He might come back, or it will be good that you look for somebody who really appreciates you and your love. Don't let anybody treat you like this. Your self respect is very valuable. Tell him to go to hell.!!!
2007-01-08 03:07:42 · answer #7 · answered by gurlztalk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With so many doubts, qulifications, conditions, limits etc., is never a love. It is just INFATUATION. Love cannot have so many angles, since it is not a contract. Maybe just Baby! it is NOT love. U R just feeling it. Love never sees all this IT IS BLIND BLIND BLIND AND BLIND. Your case is a perfect example of confused person between LOVE AND INFATUATION. You are taking one for another. Simple question is that you have presented so many angles, but did he present or thinking atleast (in your absence). Know th truth. You are not in love. You are only head over the heels for the other person. Leave this infatuation. You will be peaceful and HAPPIEST person.
LEAVE HIM! LIFE IS LONGER AND BIGGER AND HAPPIER WITHOUT this confusion. You shed this infatuation for peace.
2007-01-05 23:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by auditorsudhakar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi.
pl dont get emotional/ such relations never survive n leave a bad taste for both/ He doesnt seem to be that strong to deal with the situation{of course he needs this help from u also} but ? remains. Better forget it for some time/ Tomorrow is always another day "NADI KHUD BEKHUD APNA RASTA DHOOND LETI HAI/ISSI TARAH ZINDGI BHI{ISSE KISI KE SAHARE KI ZAROORAT NAHI} Wait for some time/n give him some time to realise as to what shold be his role/ My openion that such matters can not be solved by pushin on either side/ better accept the reality/ dont get sentimental n emotional/ Are u cancerian by birth. ?up to u to tell me/Will u write to me ? R
2007-01-01 21:36:59 · answer #9 · answered by raashi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a weak, emotionally disturbed, and selfish person who cannot make up his mind. leave him and save yourself a lot of time and pain. he's already told you he can't commit for love with you, and who's to know if he's even being honest with you? maybe the reason for that is he's married that's why he can't marry you. you met this guy online; no offense to online daters, but there are seriously sick people out there who prey on innocent people.
2007-01-06 09:47:02 · answer #10 · answered by alex405hi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋