How do I help my husband to quit smoking??

Question

We live in TX and the price of ciggarettes just went up $1.00 a pack... before the new year my husband decided on his own to quit at the begining of the year b/c of the price increase. Well today he just went out and bought a new pack. I told him I thought you were going to quit?!?! He gets all defensive and says he can't just quit cold turkey and that when he's at work for 12hrs there is nothing eles to do, so he smokes... He came up with the idea in the first place, and now it seems like he's not even trying... he says he has to just cut down till he smokes no more... I'm not really believing that, but what am I or WE to do?!?!?

Answer 1

Unless he really has the mind set on it you cannot do anything,...He has to really want it for it to happen.

Answer 2

I'm clean from cigarettes (pack and a half a day for 5 years, pack a day for 4 years before that) now for 1 year and 1 day. Now, I have smoked an occassional cigar in that time (maybe 4 all year) but I haven't cheated in any other way.

There's nothing you can do to get someone to quit unless they are truly ready to quit. If they aren't 100% committed or still aren't completely sure, then even if they do stop they'll regress. What you need to do is focus on the REASON for quitting.

My reasoning went like this: I am 28 years old, out of shape and coughing daily from smoking. I have since shaped up quite a bit, and quit the smoking. I *KNOW* that cigarette smoking will put me in the grave early, not to mention cost me uncounted dollars that I could be spending on other stuff. I made the decision that I would NEVER SMOKE AGAIN (I'm not quitting, I'm not "dealing with an addiction", I'm a non-smoker, period). It has to be done sometime before it kills you, and sooner is easier than later.

A few things make it easy to stay quit - one is how hard it was to quit! Another is how much better I feel overall now that I have quit (I still have strong cravings from time to time but they never last more than 10 seconds). Even more so is how much healthier I am. Reinforce these rewards for him as they come about, if he mentions them (EG "Hey, this tastes so much better!" because of the smoking cessation).

Lastly, try to make sure he doesn't become a self righteous smoker. I'm all for people quitting, but I furiously support peoples' choice to do whatever they want with their own bodies so long as it doesn't hurt me. A lot of ex-smokers get very "holier-than-thou" towards smokers, and this causes several problems. You lose friends for one, you look like a jerk, and it also makes smokers want to try to make you fail.

Let him know he can do it, just like many people before him, and stand behind him. Tell him you won't get angry if he slips up and starts smoking again (this is one of the best things my wife ever said to me), but you'd just like to know so you can help him keep it under control until he's ready to quit again.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

One of the most important things is don't nag!
Sit down with him and tell him how you feel and what you need;
it sounds like you feel angry and confused and frustrated when he says he's quitting smoking but keeps buying packs.
try asking him about making a plan together and ask him how you can be supportive to him.
Buy snacky things that can replace the feeling of a cigarette like baby carrots or things that take a while to chew. stock up on gum. A lot of a smokers addiction is habit and an oral fixation, trust me, I know, Ive been smoking for 10 years and have quit twice, only to come back!
It is a hard road and I dont envy your position.
Best of luck! To you and him!

Answer 4

The best thing you can do for him is not to harp on him stopping. He will not quit until he's ready to quit and no matter what promises he's mad to you he won't do anything unless he is ready. I have the same issue with my husband and he has no plans to stop smoking. He's so addicted that the thought of him choosing between food and smoking is a no brainer...he'll smoke. Some people don't have the will power to quit and he just might be one of them.

Answer 5

Hi,
I really empathise with you, I quit my 20 a day habit in a pain-free way this time last year!
No stress, no cravings, no weight gain, no pills, patches or gums.
The program I followed was recommended by a friend and now boasts a 90% success rate and is 100% fully guaranteed - can't say fairer than that

All the best..

Answer 6

It is especially hard to quit when you work a boring job that allows you to smoke whenever you want. In a sense you have to trick your mind into thinking that even if you do smoke a cigarette you will not enjoy it and it will be unsatisfying. You have to convince yourself that cigarettes offer nothing more than a bad taste in your mouth, bad breath, and an overall repulsive smell to your entire body. Oh yeah and they also cause terribly debilitating diaeases and deadly diseases such as emphasyma and lung cancer.

Answer 7

You can't do anything really. He's the one that has to help himself. I hope that you don't breathe his second hand smoke because you could get cancer and die too just like Christopher Reeves' wife did. If he is on the defensive when you address the issue it is a prelude of things to come if you continue to bring it up and a level of animosity could develop and begin to effect your marriage. Nicotine addiction is just like drug addiction and believe me your relationship could fail over it. Encourage him when he asks for it and support him when he needs it. It's up to him like I said before. How much does he love himself and you is also a question. It's slow suicide to smoke you know.

Answer 8

Have him lick his ashtray and then smell it and tell him that is what it is like for you to kiss him, then multiply the price of a pack of cigarettes by how many packs he smokes a day by 365 and show him how much he would save annually .... then tell him you love him and don't want him to die a slow miserable death. if that don't work nothing will.

Answer 9

Unfortunately all you can do is be supportive, sucks eh? Tell me about it....

I dated a guy who smoked and I would occassionally as well, well I bought mine with my own money, but he would bum when he ran out...........so he says to me one day, "you should quit"...and I was just stunned cuz obviously he wanted me to be able to afford him even more should he "run" out in the future....

sorry, went off on a rampage there.....

Sweetie, until he really wants to quit, any naggin from you is just gonna make him puff harder....

Answer 10

hello i have been tobacco free for 3 months & 3 days. beleive me i do know how hard it is to quit. what you need to do is to be his support person if you really want him to stop smoking you are going about it the wrong way. you need to be patient & understanding, the early part of his quit proccess will include nicotine withdrawal. help him keep the invironment as stress-free as possible. never tell him to go ahead & use tobacco "just once more" keep reminding him that the urge to use tobacco will decrease. share your confidence in his ability to stay tobacco-free. always let him know how proud you are of his progress. understand his need to stay away from other tobacco-users & tobacco -use situations at the beginning. ask how you can help offer to take breaks or walks with him. better yet help him celerbrate weekly, monthly, & yearly anniversaries of becoming tobacco free. just remember i have been there & done it all.


heres another thing you can do check with your health provider & ask them if they know of any wellness program of becoming smoke free. i joined the wellness program 3 months ago & i tell you what i will never ever go back to smoking. i can breath so much better, i have more energy, i can walk faster with out getting out of breath, my food even tastes better then before, with the help of nicotine transdermal system stop smoking aid patch. it works wonders but i am still going through my withdrawals. my 3 months are up for using my patchs i am going on my second day with out wearing a patch i have not had an urge to smoke not yet anyways. yesterday morning i broke out in a hot sweat i puked my brains out you should have seen all the nicotine poison that was coming from my body. i get these dizzy spells through out the day, i become very tried & sleepy all of the sudden, then i get very energenic see these are just a few of the withdrawals that i have been going through.
i will never forget my commitment to myself. i will ask my support system for help when needed. do not forget```living tobacco free is not about being smart & /or talented. it is about being committed to being healthier in the following areas of ones life```body, mind, & spirit. do not let him forget that he is making a lifestyle change towards total well-being. just remember a person has everything inside to live tobacco free. just before i close my eyes & fall asleep i say my serenity prayer.
god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change; courage to change the things i can, & the wisdom to know the difference. god bless you all for the ones that are trying to become tobacco free.
sylvia.

Answer 11

Have him use the Linkman. It will help him cut down gradually. If he is able to stick to his word, then he will be able to quit using it. I did.