I was promised this for over 2 years. The deal was I would stay home and watch the kid and he would get the things. He works and makes the good money. He hates the idea of me working and or going back to school.
I think after 2 years and broken promises I have a right to not do what he he loves so much. I dont hink of it as childish, but why should I let him get what he wants from me if he wont get what I would like.
I have been couped up in the house for over 2 years, lost my friends becuase he is so insecure about anything, Im tired of relying on people for rides (5pm really mean 9 pm when they pick youup) And for you retards who say put the kid in a daycare and get a job...DUH...how he wont pay for it. HE IS USELESS IN THAT ASPECT. and family is usless as well.
2007-01-01 18:07:19 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think your acting childish and selfish about this. And you keep referring to your child as "the kid"... whats that about? The way you express yourself in these questions make you sound... selfish, as if all you care about is this SUV.
Things will continue this way unless you speak to your husband and BOTH of you make some changes and compromising. You need to communicate and express yourself to him, but do it in a ADULT conversation.
2007-01-01 18:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Again... the whole SUV thing is ridiculous. Get over it. You don't need an SUV. What you need is a good, reliable car. About the controlling thing... you need to decide whether or not you are willing to tolerate this behavior. Why is he insecure in the relationship? Has he been cheated on before? By you? If not... than he has to fix that about himself... and unfortuantely there is nothing that you can do... aside from reassure him that you love him... which it sounds like you're not doing.
It IS childish to play games. "If you don't buy me a nice SUV I won't have sex with you". And it's going to destroy your relationship... if it hasn't already. I can definitely understand that you're saying there is tension, lack of respect, loneliness... broken promises, etc. But the only way to make the situation better would be to discuss it with him, in a calm manner, and express how you're feeling.
There has to be something good about the guy or you wouldn't have married him and had children with him. You're angry because you feel betrayed. You might very well have a right to feel the way that you do. But what you have to think about now that you are a grown up with KIDS is how to make this situation better for everyone involved... even if you don't get an SUV but instead settle for something more affordable.
I think that if he made as much money as you're saying he does then he would have bought it for you. I can't see why he'd keep you in the house with no vehicle... unless of course he's abusive. And if that's the case... you have a right to be upset... and GET OUT. You might have to live on welfare for a while... until you can get on your feet... but you'll be better off than with some jerk who abuses you.
2007-01-01 18:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should feel lucky that you can stay home. It take teamwork to make it work. Its not like he is sitting on the couch and not taking care of you. Its sad that you feel that way about the kid and family. I think you should let the suv go and be thankful you don't have to go to work, and work for a horrible boss. You should also be thankful spending 1 hour on the freeway coming and 1 hour going home. I think you are being selfish. Try thinking of someone besides yourself. If you take away the sex thats sad. I'm sorry as you say he made a promise, but let it go. Since you feel couped, you should get off the computer some and do something for yourself to make yourself feel good. Its terrible you talk so bad of him, he takes good care of you of what I was reading. Hopefully, you're both faithful to each other. I think you need some good counseling.
2007-01-01 19:25:09 · answer #3 · answered by CURTIS TERI C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a stay at home mother as well but after reading your question I couldnt help but to think how selfish you are.....You should feel lucky that your husband makes enough money so you CAN stay home...I know I do...and you also sound like your prostituting yourself..."If he doesnt get me an suv then Im not having sex" thats ridiculous why dont you get a job if you want it so bad and pay for the day care your self....lots of people do it on a daily bases
2007-01-02 01:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey hun its me again....sorry if i sounded lik i was preaching b4, but i have stayed at home w/ our children for the past ,going on, 8 yrs now. and i know exactly what you mean by feelinf al couped up in the house all the time....try "Having" a vehicle and 5 children to haul around w/ you.LOL. But seriously i have found that when you make a promise to each other...it needs to be kept. Talk to him bout the promise he made to you and tell him that that is why u keep asking bout the sUV. Tell him that you get your feelings hurt when he doesn't keep a promise...that goes for anything , not just the SUV. and let him know wht u r feeling....guys can't read your mind(i found that out a LONG time ago), and even when it is sO obvious...they r still clueless. We r the emotional ones and we go off of feelings ALOT, and that sometimes plays a big part of why we do or say things sometimes...even if we dont mean it.
i use to keep everything from my husband so he wouldnt know what i was thinking...cuz i would either b embarrassed or just to long of a day w/ the kids and too tired to talk, so i would just not say n e thing, but "today went alright"...let him know that you get tired too and work hard too, just like him, but in a diff. way, and you have to do it 24/7 and don't get to have n e brakes....at least he gets a b reak from you lil one when he goes to work, but dnt just throw that in his face, do it nicely :) ...it pushed us further and further away, and i ddnt even know that that was what i was doing. We just recently r getting to know each other again( cuz of some biblical counceling we went to), and are 100% honest and tell each other exactly how we r feeling, even if we dnt want the other to knw. You and your husband may need to "get away" for a weekend and spend time w/ just the 2 of you, and get that closeness back....this REALLY helped in our marriage, and it feels like we r dating again.
P.S.---if something bad has ever happenned in any relationship, you need to forgive, and never bring it up, never, cuz this will destroy any marriage. you cant change the past, even if one wants to . you have to look at tomorrow and move forward......dnt look at his disappointments that he has caused you....go to him...talk w/ him...and DON'T LOOK BACK. just a lil tip
Best to ya Shawna :)
2007-01-02 04:13:17 · answer #5 · answered by Momma An-g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the middle of the night, when everyone is asleep, take the keys to his car, take whatever clothes and stuff you need, leave him a note, leave him "the kid" and let him know you want out. Tell him if he doesn't like that situation, that's too bad. Seriously though, you know it isn't that everyone doesn't understand a little about what you are saying but the fact is, you just need to communicate better with your husband if you're not happy. Talk to him about the things you are not happy about. Tell him it has got to change or you are gone. Make sure he knows you mean it. As far as withholding sex because you didn't get something, that's really not the right thing to do, but not having sex with someone you are mad at because he lied to you and doesn't treat you right is quite another thing. Learn to communicate better or you will always be unhappy.
2007-01-01 18:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-12-15 13:32:29 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a stay at home mom as well..for the past almost 3 years now. YOU put yourself in that situation. YOU chose this life and YOU need to grow up and deal with it. Sorry you didnt hear what you wanted babygirl but...either deal with it or get out of the marriage.
2007-01-01 18:11:15 · answer #8 · answered by Brutally Honest 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Only you know when you have had enough. My Momma always told me, "don't depend on no one and that way then can't let you down". Some women were made to be stay at home, kept women, have hubby hand her every thing, including his you know what to kiss. But in most instances in this day and age, women are doing their own thing. Do you, be you. God Bless.
2007-01-01 19:07:58 · answer #9 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
leave him... if he is so insecure you cant have friends then the real reason for not getting the suv is to control you and keep you at home. i wouldnt feed him or do anything for him at all until he allows you to have a life and gets you what you need and want. This should also include allowing you to have friends and time to spend with them....
2007-01-01 18:40:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋