what do you do if you show up at a cancelled party?

Question

I got a paper invite for a party. I showed up at the door. The hostess was nowhere to be found. Her kids answered and there was garage everywhere, no cars in the lot at all. Bad sign. The hostess finally showed up and said she had cancelled the party. I had paid $25 in cab fare to get there and she never called to cancel. She had my phone number and she knew I was coming. Is that dirt low or what? She wouldn't even spend an hour with me, like sometimes you go visit a friend and they invite you in for tea for a bit, then you leave after an hour cause you know they have to do housework or something. I had to leave right away. So, what is my question? Was that low or what and should I just ignore her from now on?

Answer 1

it is the responsibility of the people who throw party to intimate to us that the party has been cancelled. but due to under unavoidable circumstances like any one of the family members met with an accident or died,it was not possible for them to communicate us about the cancellation. if i show up the party that is cancelled, i enquire about the reasons for cancellation of the party, and if they are sound reasons, i show sympathy to them and if the reasons do not convince me, i will take a decision not to attend in future, the parties of those people.

Answer 2

What was the reason for the cancellation? If it was a good reason - like a death or sickness - forgive the woman. If it was a trivial reason, then seriously reconsider your relationship with this person. If you ever go to an event with this person again - call first and get it verified before spending any money on cab fair.

I think that the least the person could have done would have been to give you a ride somewhere or pay for your return cab fare back.

Answer 3

That is kinda low..... if they purposely didn't call to let you know. I always like like to give consideration that it may have been some kind of mix up. Maybe each person thought the other called, or any number of things.
That bit about not even inviting you in after she realized her mistake gets me though. I would taken a few minutes to explain what happened and if I didn't have time for you to stay for a bit told you why.
I would say before you go ignoring them to confront them on the issue and if you don't get an answer that satisfies you then do what you need to do about the friendship.

Answer 4

Like most on here we all agree that it was rude and low down. I know that its hard to confront someone. You may just want to send her a letter or email. I would say something like this.

Dear Sally:
I was disappointed that the party had been canceled. I hope that everything is OK. I hope that it was not canceled due to an emergency.However, I was taken aback that you did not call me to let me know that the part was canceled. You know that I had to take a cab to your home and well it cost me 25.00. Then when I got to your place you brushed me off. What gives?

Then I would wait for the answer. If she does not bother to answer you then I would terminate the friendship. Like the old saying goes, "With friends like that, who needs enemies." If she does respond back then of course you would have to take it from there.

Answer 5

Well, I suspect that she cancelled the party because she wasn't able to pull it off, meaning that she didn't have time to spend visiting with you either. So I don't blame her for not inviting you in. Is it possible she thought she had uninvited you? Because, obviously, other people weren't there, so they must have known that the party was cancelled. I suspect it was just a mistake. But if it bothers you, just tell your friend that your feelings were hurt and work it out.

Answer 6

If ignore means that you are rude to someone or pretend that they are not there, then, no - don't 'ignore' her. That would be as bad as what you think she did to you (rudeness and lack of courtesy). Two wrongs don't make a right.

If it means that you are careful with her - double checking things, not telling her your deepest or darkest secrets, not depending on her to have your back in a crunch - but you still treat her decently - then fine.

And you may want to (nicely) find out what happened with the party. Btw - even though I definitely see your point of view, not every one wants to invite someone else in if they are not up for visitors. But calling you and telling you - or apologizing when you showed up would have been appropriate on her part.

Again - two wrongs dont make a right - learn from her to be more considerate of others, dont learn from her to be inconsiderate or rude to her.

.

Answer 7

I think it is DEFINITELY irresponsible of your friend to do that to you, and everyone else she undoubtably invited...was this a kid's birthday party or something...did you mean to say that there was garbage everywhere?....bad sign....then you said she finally showed up and had cancelled the party altogether, but hadn't phoned you, even though she had your number?...I dare to ask?...is she on something?...what was she hiding?....why didn't she spend more quality time with you.....something is definitely wrong....and as for what to do....that's up to you, but I would keepa distance from this friend and observe her for ahwile....then draw a conclusion....hope this helps..

Answer 8

It's your mom's house, not yours. You shouldn't be doing things in it that she doesn't know about. You need to say that the party is cancelled. Period. You don't have to explain.

Answer 9

Give her a fitting reply. Invite her also to your party. Then read the story of 'the fox and the crane', to get some good ideas and do something accordingly.

Answer 10

That was extremely rude and inconsiderate. Unless she has a good reason, such as a death in the family or some sort of emergency, you ought to seriously reconsider your friendship.