Should I let the baby go with her father when he visits his older children?

Question

His older children hate me and I'm not sure that with them is the best place for the baby to be. I'm sure that he would take care of her, but I'm not sure that I want her to be exposed to the ugliness of these children who have openly told me that they hate me and the baby.

The baby is just that-- a baby. I'm fairly certain that she won't recognize "trash talk" and I know that he won't tell me if his kids have said nasty stuff about me. I worry about them being around the baby because they have said that they hate her.

Answer 1

No. Sure, she's a baby, but why expose her to severe negativity. Babies pick up on those emotions and you don't know what those children might do. Also, don't start a routine that you will only want to break once the baby is walking and talking. Nip it in the bud now and he won't even expect to take her with him in the future.

You have no obligation to those other children and their father apparently can't control their nasty behavior. It's not better to have mean siblings than to have none at all. She may be better off without them.

Answer 2

When in doubt, don't. This is YOUR CHILD and you are the one whose duty it is to protect her. If you have any doubt whatsoever, do not let your baby go. It does not sound to me like she would have anything whatsoever to gain from this experience. This is one of those 'if you have to ask, the answer is no' questions. I think you know in your heart that you do not want her to go, and are probably hoping that we will all advise you not to. When the baby is older maybe the other children will have matured and they will be able to have a relationship, and you can always change your mind later - but you would never be able to undo any harm they could do to her. Children can be so cruel, and can cause great harm when they did not mean to do things that were quite so bad.

Answer 3

I say let the baby go and spend time with him. His other kids may just say those things to hurt you, but when they have their baby sis or with them: I am pretty sure they will treat the baby right. If not then that is when it is your duty as a mother to protect your child from harm. You said that you are sure he would take care of her: so let her go and spend time with her father and other brothers and sisters. At least you have a baby daddy that is willing to take on responsibilities: there are so many other women that are fighting to get these dead beat sperm donors to take care of their kids.

Answer 4

Confront the father on this situation. Tell him you are concerned. See what he has to say.
Even though the baby is just a baby you don't want the child growing up hearing trash like that and worse repeating it.

Answer 5

I can see the dilema. It's nice to have your baby know and love her step siblings, but having her exposed to the hatred they have for you wouldn't be cool. I'd say, every few times there's a visit,
go with them for their visit and bring the baby with you. Maybe this might help improve your relationship with the older children
while the baby can get to know them too. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

it's his child too, and i would say let the baby go, until, and if, you hear any of the kids saying anything weird has happened or someone is trash talking you whie they are therel, let your baby know his/her whole family...since that's what they are, right?

Answer 7

I see your problem but the baby is their sibling

Answer 8

No, keep the brat at home. His kids don't want to see the d*mn baby anyway.

Answer 9

No, the baby should stay at home with you where she is safe.

Answer 10

I wouldn't