moms or dads...or whoever...he told his parents about our sex!?

Question

im in love with a boy.....itss fabulous, we have great sex periodically, and have had a few scares but have ALWAYS used a condom......then he dropped the ultimate on me...he told his parents that we have sex and they tell him its okay because they know were in love but they want me to get on birth controll....the downfall about it is in order to get on birth controll i have to tell my mom that i have sex...her 16 year old baby girl has sex......i don't mind telling my mom because she loves my bf to death and her and i are really close, but im scared because the fact im a huge daddys girl and i feel bad that they are married and if i tell her im going to force her not to tell my father cause of how bad it would hurt him...idk what to do....should i discard my bfs parents and not tell mine or should i just go for it and risk my dad finding out??? what to do...what to do...

Answer 1

i understand you not wanting to let your parents down, but consider the other possibility.... if you can't ask them to put you on birth control, how are you going to tell them about an unplanned pregnancy? get your priorities straight hun. be honest - be respectful - sure they will probably be upset at first, but if i were int heir shoes, i would appreciate and love the fact my daughter loved, respected and TRUSTED me enough to come to me with this issue, before it becomes a bigger one that involves an innocent life - a baby's.

Answer 2

i dont know were u lived but at planned parenthood and other goverment funded agencys u can get on teh pill with out your parents finding out. The goverment will even pay for it. I would call and talk to somoen they usally have 1800 numbers and you can call from a pay phone or something. My dad would have beat the hell out of me if he new i was having sex when i was younger so i couldnt tell my parents. One day i cut school and got on the pill no one was any the wiser. I mean alot of places are really confidentaly they want teens on birth control so that you dont ahve kids. They hand that **** out like candy do ur research thats part of beign adult. And if this sounds like to much owrk well then imagine how much work a baby is. Get on the pill im sure theres ways around talkin to ur parents about it!

Answer 3

I'm a 30 year old woman and I am a mother of 2 girls. Honestly I think that you should stop having sex with your boyfriend; you are only 16 and you can get your parents in trouble and his parents or himself in trouble because you are under age and besides, YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL... please, just stop and think that you don't need to live your life like if there is not tomorrow, enjoy your youth, have fun, don't think that "having sex" is what fun is. Think that if you ever brake up with this guy then you are going to go out with somebody else...and then somebody else...and somebody else....don't you think that "having sex" should be more about "making love"? about having a family? about commitment, respect and faithfulness?. Please get out of that relationship and talk to your parents face to face. Tell them that they need to spend more time with you, be more together as a family...I don't know exactly what are the reasons you have to go look for "love" with the boyfriend but let your parents know about this.

Now, let me tell you, this has nothing to do with "being old" or "old fashion" or whatever you want to call it. Morality and respect has not a time or an age. Society trys to tell you that "it is cool to have sex"...but is not..."sex is going to give you happiness"...but is not. In fact there is a lot more teen pregnancies, STD and suicides on the last years than ever because of the same cause: sex. So please, stop that, live your life, enjoy the beauty of being alive don't waste your youth worring about this things.

Will and Ariel Durant, who wrote eleven large volumes of history covering thousands of years, declared: “A youth boiling with hormones will wonder why he should not give full freedom to his sexual desires; and if he is unchecked by customs, morals, or laws, he may ruin his life before he matures sufficiently to understand that sex is a river of fire that must be banked and cooled by a hundred restraints if it is not to consume in chaos both the individual and the group”

Answer 4

Not knowing anything about your background or your relationship with your father, makes it hard to say. If you have a good relationship, your father has been waiting for this day. Will he welcome it with open arms? Not likely......but will he be reasonable? If you have a good relationship, I believe so. I talked to both of my children by the time they were your age about these things. I figured why wait till after the fact of something happening.....My daughter stayed a virgin till she met her husband when she was 19....that was her choice.....my son was always asking me for more condoms.....*sigh* well at least I knew he was being smart about it.....


Bottom line, you sound like a nice and intelligent young lady. If in your heart you know you are daddy's little girl? He will get over it even if he is somewhat hurt. Again, he had to know this day was coming......Realize, I'm not condoing or basically giving you permission to do anything by saying what I'm saying. What I am saying, is if you are going to have sex, please be smart....Don't mess up your future and become a parent before you are ready emotionally or financially.


Good luck.....

Answer 5

you should definitly be on birth control. your parents don't need to know. Tell you bf's parents that you don't want your parents knowing and they should understand. You can get birth control without your parents knowing. Also still make your boyfriend wear or condom. It is easy to forget a pill or two and that can mess the whole cycle up. he may not like it, but he should be glad he's getting any and I'm sure he wont mind that much.

Answer 6

It seems to many teens that adults are always making a big deal about people having sex under the age of consent. Many young people think that if they feel ready to have sex and they use protection, it is nothing to do with anyone else. But every teen needs to know the laws and what they mean.
So what does the age of consent mean?

The age of consent is the age when the law says you can agree to have sex. In most countries, until you reach this age you can't legally have sex with anyone, however old they are. Sometimes the law is slightly different when the partners are of a similar age, but there is usually still a minimum age below which sex is always illegal.
But our parents say it's okay. . .

That doesn't make any difference - your parents don't make the law. Teens can't get around the laws for smoking, drinking or driving because their parents say so, and it's the same with this. The age of consent laws always apply, whether you're in love, or you've been together for ages, or you've had sex before.
But it's no-one else's business. Why do we have these laws?

Although many young people are mature enough to know how to deal with it if someone tries to get them to have sex, some teens are not grown up enough to know what to do. Age of consent laws are there to stop young people from being exploited by adults.
What is the age of consent?

What the age of consent is depends on where you live - there are different age limits in different places, and in some places the age of consent is different for boys and for girls. To find out about the age of consent in your country or state, please see our age of consent chart.
Is there an age of consent for gay men and lesbians?

Yes. Some places have different age of consent limits for gay men and lesbians, and in other places this sort of relationship is against the law. To find out about your area, check our age of consent chart.
What is 'statutory rape'?

If you are under the age of consent and you choose to have sex with someone who is over the age of consent, then they can be charged with the crime of 'statutory rape'. Some countries have different names for this crime, and some states in the US call it 'unlawful sexual penetration' or just 'rape'.
And what's sexual abuse?

This is when a person is pressured into any type of sexual contact that they do not agree to. If you know anyone who is being pressurised in this way, you should tell an adult that you trust what's going on. Telephone helplines in your country should also be able to give you advice and information about what you should do and who you should contact. Try our help and advice page for some suggested resources.

Answer 7

As a mom, I advise you to talk to your parents beforehand.

However, you can go to a Planned Parenthood to get on the pill (probably without telling your parents, but then you run the risk of them finding your pills, anyway).

Check to see if you need parental consent where you live, if you decide not to tell them. Think of what their reactions will be if you don't tell them and they accidentally find your pills, though: which will be worse?

Try to do the right thing, not necessarily the easy one. They are going to find out that you are sexually active, eventually.

Answer 8

Tell them, I don't know if your dad had a lotta sex back in his day, but ask him if he would have sex at 16 if he had the chance, or if he did. That might do the trick, but you'll have to let your mom calm him down. Strangely, a lot of women have that power over men, go figure.

Answer 9

You can go to a doctor and get birth control without telling your mom. Doctors are not allowed to tell anyone if you want birth control, not even your parents. Just go to your family doctor and get some birth control and keep it from your mom if you don't want her and your dad to know.

Answer 10

Tell your mom so she can get you on birth control. She can also be there for you emotionally and give you great advice. Sure she will be disappointed at first, but she will get over it. If I had the nerve to tell my parents when I started having sex I never would have ended up pregnant.