I married a man much older than I am. I married when I was 15, now Im in my 20's and want to have friends, go out and have fun. I have talked to him about taking me out to clubs and he refuses.
He is not into that anymore. I work and go to school and I really want to go out and have some fun sometimes. A few friends my age are always talking about the things they do on their spare time and weekends and I get depressed and regret my mistakes.
The other day I went to a work conference and went clubbing with friends afterwards I did not do anything I was not supposed to do I only had a fw drinks and danced and had so much fun....I felt free and happy. My man does not like to do anyhing fun. He hardly likes to talk. and Im an active energetic person. Should I leave him ? he is not going to change, he is always been that way. When i married him I was a child and I married him because I had to. Now I am very attracted to guys my age which makes things even worse.
2007-01-01 15:21:02 · 21 answers · asked by 0022 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ahh, sweetie. You're just wanting to experience the life you never got to. That's perfectly normal and healthy. Your hubby sounds controlling to me. Get out.
2007-01-01 15:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Lynda M ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Was your marriage arranged? Were you attracted to this man when you first met him? If not, then you are in a miserable situation, and I'm afraid it is not my place to tell you whether or not you should leave your husband. That is something you are going to have to search deep inside of you to find the answer to. Can you see yourself with this man another 20, 30, 40 years, or more? If you were attracted to him when you married him, and then just drifted apart, know that any guy you meet at first will be fun, exciting and full of mystique. In short time, though, you will find yourself in the same situation as now, feeling the same way you do now as the excitement wears off. Remember: "a new broom always works well".
2007-01-01 15:31:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not want to go through the experiance of a divorce if your husband is against it. Love is not a feeling. It is a commitment to hang in there even when the relationship is sour. You said, "I am very attracted to guys my age." What does that mean? Sounds like sex. You cannot be attracted to men your own age or any age in a meaningful way if you have not spent time getting to know them. I mean months even years. So, you want to have an affair with a younger man?
2007-01-01 15:33:03 · answer #3 · answered by xmark1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that age is just a number.I dont know why he can not has fun with you.Maybe he is very busy or st else i dont know.You have been with him 5 yeras and during these times had not you good times?
Try to consult with a psychologist and give him other chance.Maybe you have not used all of your attempt about him.Dont think that young guys can support you in all of your life.You have fun with them and it is good but , can they support you needs and love you deeply?Please think carefully.
It is your life and your request of life.What do you need?If you need just some fun and happiness make it with your husband and try to do it.For the last time with all of your desire and power try to change his opinion and change your life with him based on your favorate ideas.Dancing and clup going is very good but are these only things a woman need ?
Compare all of his behavioryour with a young guy at your age.Try to think carefully and consult with a social advisor.
Dont destroy your life for nothing.Divorce is a last solution not the first solution.
Good Luck
2007-01-01 17:17:02 · answer #4 · answered by Elham 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend says, "Check it out before you invest," and he's not just talking about money. It includes marriage, friends, jobs, places to live, etc. It's a lot easier to STAY out than to GET out. Married or not, I think you need to lead your own life. Invite him, but if he doesn't want to go along, go by yourself! You only live once! (By the way, it has nothing to do with age. Some people are old at 20! Some forever young! Like me; I'm dying on the dance floor...
2007-01-01 15:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with Marklemoo and papa62. Unless you can agree that it is ok for you to go out sometimes with girlfriends and have fun, and there are very clear boundaries you and hubby agree on (such as no rides home with anyone but a girlfriend or cab or yourself or even better, he picks you up), you are headed for seperation. Decide what is good about your marriage and what you think you are missing. Only you can weigh the facts.
2007-01-01 15:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your hubby need a heart-to-heart. If it comes to it, tell him (in as non-confrontational a manner as you can) you plan to party with him and/or friends, and give him the choice of whether to go along. Also, it's hard to figure he has no interests, unless he's just working WAY too hard, and you might want to do a double-check if that's the case. Is he always tired because you're pushing him to work too much? You may need to give a little to get a little.
2007-01-01 15:40:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your life. It may be hard to get out on your own and support yourself, but the easy way isn't always the best way. Sometimes the hard way can be the best. So if you don't want to go out there and take responsibility for your own life, then stay where you are, but don't whine about the choices you made. You ALWAYS have a choice.
Oh yeah, don't forget..... you can get alimony and HALF!!!!!!
A judge will give you lots, especially if you were married to some older perve at 15.
2007-01-01 15:27:07 · answer #8 · answered by Xxar 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you are choosing not to see all the red flags this guy is throwing your way. If he is 29 then he knows if he is ready to be married or not. By 29 they have that part figured out. However, you are a lon distance relationship who seems free and easy with her birth control, and he has not exactly asked you to be a part of his life. Right now you are the girl out of town he likes to see now and again. When things get tough, well, he does have other ports to call.
2016-05-23 04:59:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married him because you Had To?
do you still love him?
You can go out with out him and have fun with your friends. As you get older, the need to go out clubbing may subside and a stable husband, whether he talks or not, is worth his weight in gold.
2007-01-01 15:32:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married him because you had to? Nobody has to marry anyone, ever. Everyone always has a choice.
I suggest you divorce him and don't ask for or take anything in the settlement. Then you can go have your fun without him having to pay for it.
2007-01-01 15:25:45 · answer #11 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋