I am having a terrible time coping about a guy I was with for a year and half. When we were together he told me he wanted to commit suicide. It was an ongoing issue so I recommended he talk to a professional but he wanted to talk to only me. I tried my hardest to help him. Come to find out he kept a secret that he had a child he never met w/ a one night stand before we met. I helped him come to terms with it and when he finally met the child he ended our relaionship to pursue one with the mother of his child. I found all this out when I was in the hospital this past summer. I was pretty ill and the response I got was never to call him again. And there after he manipulated me into thinking I aided him into going back to the mother because I told him he should be a part of his child's life. They are not together anymore. But I am having an awful time dealing with how he treated me after I helped him with his serious threats of suicide. Ironically, i'm seeking prof. help b/of this:(
2007-01-01 15:08:50 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
It is good for you that you helped him. It is better than money in the bank. Don't stop helping people. I can help you out. Read the webpage below with info from top psychologists on being happier while helping others. You will learn more about being happier and that is what you need.
Also mental health is an exchange. People at mental institutions help people but it is hard on them and they have to limit their time with them. If a cold object comes into contact with a hot object, the hot gets cooler and the cold gets warmer (exchange of heat). Site has practical things to help your mental health which is the same thing as happiness. Has anyone ever sought help because he was too happy.
Page on NATURAL HEALING has foods that are antidepressant foods according to U.S.D.A.
2007-01-01 15:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well he certainly pulled a number on you. Actually. You did the everything you could to help him. more than you needed to and trust me...he's not miraculously cured either. I suspect his "issues" will be life long. the pain and disappointment are absolutely normal and you will get better with time. and also the fact that you yourself are seeking professional help will not only help in this particular circumstance but will also help you not to repeat it again. We choose our lives. and you made a choice. It didn't turn out the way you'd hoped...but perhaps that is because there is something way better in store for you and all of that pain can be a spring board to the life you want and truly deserve. Don't be so hard on yourself. It just might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Don't try to figure out his motives...you never will and it wont make a difference anyway. Figure out yourself and your own motives..and watch everything become more clear and ultimately help you become the person you were meant to be. You have got a lot of good things coming.
2007-01-01 23:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you did a great thing helping him through a very difficult time in his life and he is a rat for leaving you while you were in the hospital. do not let him blame you for anything in his life now. he made his own choices and he now needs to live with the consequences. you did the best you could and he should be greatful to you. also you are doing the right thing seeking professional help. i hope you mean a counselor or a therapist. stay away from this bum. he owes you his miserable life and just doesn't know it. move on. there are many many men out there so keep looking for the right guy for you.
peace&hope
2007-01-01 23:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by wild&free 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear whichat all of these events have made your life unsettled. I have went through something similar; however, a four-month relationship that inevitably will end because of a job that moved me away. The girlfriend I had has threatened, and/or attempted suicidal action. This actually happened to me once--in 7th grade, but worked its way out. Anyway, sometimes it's hard to help someone in this type of mindset. Sounds like you did all the right things, by not interfering, and encouraging a relationship with his child. Unfortunately, your man wasn't mature enough to see it that way. Sometimes you have to let things go for your own good. You also deserve the type of support you gave, and obviously, he isn't equipped. Those issues were created way before you met him, and unless you want to pursue it (and the drama), let it go. Be good to yourself, and find someone who will appreciate you. Take care.
2007-01-01 23:27:53 · answer #4 · answered by CowboyFan 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Believe it or not yours is not an uncommon situation. You have been used and now you're left wondering what you did wrong. You did nothing wrong. You tried to help a friend. He is obviously a very immature person. His inability to accept responsibility for any of his actions proves that he is not willing to accept his role in any of this. Please don't despair. You did everything you could. Just because it didn't turn out and make his life perfect you've become the scapegoat. Take some time and work on yourself. He is not going to grow up and take responsibility until he is ready, if ever. He was a user! Take care of your self and good luck.
2007-01-01 23:21:28 · answer #5 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're right in getting help for yourself. Obviously you are better off without this jerk. He made the mistake of thinking that being with the kids mother was the right choice. Sadly it wasn't and at the expense of your feelings. He should have seeked helped himself. You did the best you could but obviously this guy is a mess.
I went through a bad break up myself where I felt betrayed. It's taken a lot of time. I still haven't found someone else. However I think that's better since it has given me time to me more independent and made me realize how strong I am. People can hurt and betray you but you are strong enough to pick yourself up and move on. Your showing that now by getting help and by getting it off your chest.
2007-01-01 23:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by Luna V 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You say you are seeking professional help? Continue to work with your therapist in a strictly professional manner. These things take time. However, if after a period of time you feel you are still at square one, seek another therapist.
2007-01-01 23:17:07 · answer #7 · answered by nala 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh u poor thing guys can be such ***** you helped him threw all his crap and all he can do to pay you back is dmp u while u are ill just keep seeing the shrink it helps
2007-01-01 23:46:58 · answer #8 · answered by Mouse_Sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋