How can I get my spoiled 3 1/2 yr old to listen? He ignores me and is sassy.?

Question

I should mention that though we are not rich he has all the toys and movies that he could ever want. I also just had a baby two 1/2 months ago which I beleive has made it significantly worse.

Please do not tell me consistency....I have OCD so I am more consistant than anyone.......that isnt working in this case

Answer 1

Mommy and Son time...Give him extra love and hugs.

When he is good PRAISE HIM LOTS OF PRAISE!!

Dont yell. use firm voice

give it time...


I am a mom who spanks butt when needed and that always work i lil pop that doesnt hurt to be honest stops a lot of things

Answer 2

When he is bad do not take toys away. That will just cause a big temper tantrum, trust me. You need to get down on his level and speak clearly but nicely, tell him that you don't appreciate him misbehaving and if it continues he will have to have a time out. No if's and's or but's. The key is to follow through.

Also about the toy situation.. Every so often you should have a sit down with your son and go through everything he owns, and tell him to get rid of some of the ones he doesn't use anymore. Give it to charity. That way he will learn about responsibility and neccessity. He will learn the value of certain things rather than "I want it, I want it!"

Though I must admit this is a really big change for the little guy and it will need some getting used to. He will probobly be jealous at the attention you will be giving your baby so in turn he will do bad things to get your attention. Why not let him help with the baby in small ways? Get him involved.

But most importantly, reward him somehow when he does something good. It can be very small, even just a verbal comment. Make him feel good about himself! Arrange some mommy to son time, and just have fun playing with him and being a kid.

Also I am going to mention that I don't think the whole "spanking method" works. As a mother you feel terrible doing it, and it just causes extreme frustration within the son. Nowadays there are kids who think they can just hit their parents, and that is so wrong. But is it really different the other way around? There are other ways to get through to your son without involving physical pain. Do you want your son to be afraid of you? I don't think so. You want him to know that you are on his level, that way he will follow by example. You want to be his role model, not his enemy.

Answer 3

My son is now 6. He went through that stage. We had a baby and am fixin to have another. after repeated stres over his behavior we decided to clear his room. He was left with a bed and a dresser. It was explained that until he showed improvement he would do without the privaleges. Some may say that 3 is young to try and sound so grown up. It really made my son mature faster by being more direct with him. I would also like to recommend a reward type thing. Maybe make a chart and let him earn stickers. That can earn his toys and things back. Good Luck

Answer 4

If this problem has transpired since you recently gave birth I'd say he is vying for your attention, and that you should set aside some time for just the two of you. However, if this has been going on, I'd try the time out chair first......then if necessary paddle him to get his full attention. There IS a difference between discipline and abuse.........be reasonable since he is only 3 1/2, but you have to discipline children from an early age..........and don't have any guilt about paddling. Spare the rod...spoil the child.....As a teacher I could always tell the children who were raised "by the book".....they almost never did as they were told without an arguement.

Answer 5

Saw isn't necessarily a horror, it's a thriller. And honestly, yes she can. Even if she is scared afterwards she knows it's not real, the film itself is actually quite tame compared to most horrors despite idiots saying its the scariest film ever. But saying all of that, the film is not very good. It's usually quite boring and nothing truly 'scary' happens until the final 20 minutes. And when it does happen, it is actually quite disappointing. However, people below 14 usually like that film so I'd say give it a shot. There are much better horror's out there but you can show it to her and she will be fine, guaranteed.

Answer 6

Some of this could be a cry for attention or jealosy at the baby's attention. Make sure that you find time daily to set aside with just you and him--no baby. Doesn't have to be long. 15 minutes.

Sounds like the boy may have to many toys and is unappreciative as well. Take things away, including TV, no child ever died from lack of TV.

Answer 7

My wife and I use a TEASPOT (Take Everything Away for Short Periods Of Time) and it usually works (we have 6 kids ages16 to 2 1/2) It's like a time -out but it gives the child time to asess the situation, and you get to control how long the TEASPOT is according to the seriousness of the situation. Getting down and talking to them on their level during this time is also good too. But try to keep it short and sweet remember this is his punishment. And hopefully sooner rather than later when you say "Mommy's gonna give you a TEASPOT", your little boy will know better. Best of Luck To You.

Answer 8

Every child is different, but I will share what worked with my now-eleven year old son. Because you are consistent, this should work very well for you.

When he's doing something he shouldn't, but won't get hurt if he continues, call him by name and tell him very simply in a full sentence that he needs to stop. Start counting, with another reminder of what to stop and what discipline he will receive at each number. When you get to three, don't say another word, just go to him and carry out the promised discipline. For example...
"Joe, stop jumping on the couch. (still jumping)
One! Stop right now or you're going to be on the wall. (still jumping)
Two! Stop jumping...you'll be on the wall if you don't. (still jumping)
Three! (place on the wall with no further words, or just a simple "time out")"

Time outs in a chair or putting their forehead on the wall works very well. Time it for one minute more than his age AFTER he stops crying and fussing. Tell him the timer doesn't start until he's quiet. Also, when he starts rebelling, try to react with as little emotion as possible. Negative attention is still attention in his eyes.

My son got to the point where I would just say "ONE" and he would stop whatever it was. This is good for at home as well as in public, just alter the discipline, like putting him in the cart if you're at the store, or finding a bench for him to sit on. Keep a watch so you can time it.

On the flip side, as you mentioned, a new baby is making him jealous. Just be sure to make special time with him one on one without the baby around. I know it will be tough, but if he gets a little more attention, then he'll be less likely to act out. Maybe color together when the baby is napping. Or read a book that he picks out at bedtime.

Juggling a toddler and a newborn can be tough, but with a little love and a lot of patience, it will work out. Good luck to you and Blessings...

Answer 9

Every time he acts up, grab one of his favorite toys and put it in a garbage pail with a lid and tell him that everytime he acts up he will loose one of his favorite toys. When he goes out of his way to be nice, let him take one of the toys back. Once they realize that you aren't joking and lots of his toys,videos or even books start to fade fast he will smarten up. If not then tell him once the garbage can is full, you will be giving his toys to another child. Make sure the can has a lid that your child can't remove. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Make rules and go through with it.

Go down to his level and look him in the eye and use a low toned serious voice.

They are attuned to that. But setting those rules earlier would have helped.

I have seen parents let their children run rampant and disrupt the whole place without intervening. It is more than obvious those are the parents that will have problems in the future with their children.

Answer 11

"I should mention that though we are not rich he has all the toys and movies that he could ever want."

Sounds like you created a monster. Let me take a wild guess and say that perhaps he is used to whining and sassing you because he STILL gets all the toys and movies that he could ever want.