Is it messed up that my boyfriend left me alone on New Years while sick?

Question

Me and my boyfriend of almost 5 months bought tickets (totaling $300) to spend New Year's Eve at a club in New York City. A couple days before I got really sick, and although I tried to get ready to go out on New Years I just couldn't do it and I backed out last minute. At first I urged him to go w/out me since we were going with a bunch of his friends, but then I retracted, since I wanted to spend New Years with him no matter what, and I was willing to do something more low- key and local. But at that point it was too late, he was already on his way in, and I spent the whole night crying and he spent the whole night calling me to say how miserable he was. But why should I feel bad for him? He's the one who left me. I got sick, it wasn't like I just backed out. I spent our first new year's crying alone in my bed. It's just not fair...

Answer 1

He called you and said he was miserable too. Isn't that enough or are you going to milk this for all it's worth?

Answer 2

Five months is not a commitment for life. You invested $300. in holiday entertainment and then you unfortunately got sick. Unavoidable. You also encouraged your boyfriend, not husband of 5 years, but boyfriend of 5 months, to get some use out of the investment. Since you were sick, unavoidable, but not dying (also unavoidable, but let's face it, your number wasn't close to being up, you were just sick.) So far, so mature.
Now you are going to blow it on what could have happened if your fantasy script had been followed.
As the Scene Opens we see our poor helpless heroine prostrate on a fluffy bed tastefully done up. There is a slight sheen of perspiration on her forehead and a wound up piece of tissue hanging from one nostril. She coughs softly and bravely speaks into the telephone:
Ophelia: Oh, darling boyfriend of five months, I am too terribly sick to get myself together, but I don't want to ruin your evening or lose all the money. Go on without me! Give your friends my regrets.
Mr. Wonderful boyfiend of 5 months: Well. Ok, if you are sure you will be all right.
Ophelia: Well, yes, silly, I'll be fine. *while thinking: please, pass the sensitivity test that my sudden energy zapping but non life threatening illness has given us a fortitutious opportunity to test!*

Thoughful enough to ask, Mr. Wonderful boyfriend of five months goes off and joins friends as you both agreed.

Opehlia (later to self): I'm too sick to go into the city, but I'll haul *cough, cough* myself out of bed to do something local, because if I can't have this milestone "first New Years Eve together with you" in New York, then I still want to be with you, even at the risk of my health *and yours if necessary,* which would be alright if I just stayed mature and stayed in bed. I think I'll call him and say that *because I've got this all worked out as a memory in our future life together that I will call romantic, perfect and never forget, even though we've only been together for five months.*

Now you are all worked up about how insensitive he was last night. Give yourself a break before you ruin the relationship. He didn't leave you. He followed up on the agreement YOU suggested and you both agreed on. The telling part is he got your offended, wounded, whiny message at some time during the evening and cared enough about you to keep phoning in the miserable time you wanted him to have as you sobbed in your pillow. Appreciate that.

Good grief and happy new year.

Answer 3

My boyfriend of 6 years got sick a couple of days before New Years. We usually go out somewhere together (or separately) But we decided to stay home together and he was going to cook dinner and I was really looking forward to it. When I got home from work Sunday evening, he sent me right back out for some NyQuil, I went back out for his NyQuil, he slept all night and I stayed home with him.
Though as I was sitting on the couch alone I was tempted to go out with my friends, I stayed home. That's love.

If he is making you cry like that this early on in your relationship, and he has the nerve to call you saying that he is miserable when you had to be 1000 times more miserable and on top of that alone, and he's the one that left you at home sick on New Years Eve...dump him. He wasn't that miserable, because if he was, he could have made his way home to you.

Answer 4

enable me allow you to already know slightly secret. even as my daughter change right into a toddler, I left her contained in the vehicle went i purchased gas. on the on the spot there change into no pay-at-the-pump, and quite than unstrapping her and lugging the carseat interior, it change right into a lot less stressful to run in and pay. And it WASN'T a huge deal. i might want to extremely see the vehicle. i'm not so paranoid as to have self assurance that kidnappers lurk in gas stations waiting to thieve little ones. Nor did I worry that some stranger might want to call the police and that i might want to be arrested for being 50 ft faraway from my baby for 2 minutes. If the mini-mart in question change into, like maximum, designed with massive glass abode windows, this is not a huge deal. He might want to ascertain her. EDIT: faith's thoughts are thoroughly diverse. 15 minutes isn't 2 minutes. Leaving the vehicle operating isn't turning the vehicle off and taking the keys. slightly instantly ahead experience and experience of share is going some distance. EDIT" IR's 'the toddler might want to have died contained in the nice and cozy vehicle?' In 2 minutes? So ... once you purchase gas i assume that you're taking toddler out of the vehicle and set the carseat contained in the vehicle parking zone so toddler received't die contained in the nice and cozy vehicle? there is not something 'immature' about instantly ahead experience and in no way panicking over what 'might want to take position' contained in the most severe and distant circumstances. EDIT: Shana -- even as i'm not a kidnapper, and do not understand how they imagine, if i change right into a kidnapper, i can imagine of many extra smart places to seek out victims than a hectic gas-station the position there are human beings coming and going each of the time, (those who might want to honestly note me breaking the vehicle window to get the toddler out), the position the baby's ascertain is in all likelihood gazing the vehicle and could re-seem at any 2d, and the position there are probably video-cameras monitoring the lot.

Answer 5

Darling, sometimes things just don't work out the way you want them to.
I am very sorry that your New Year's didn't go well, but you have to take into consideration that it's over now, and that you can have a lot more fun and special times in the future, right?
So stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stop feeling down, get into the shower, get dressed up all sexy, and go have fun with him!

Answer 6

Well that's a tough call. I wouldn't hold it against him too much. You've only been going out for 5 months. Cut him some slack, the tickets were expensive and he did spend the evening calling you instead of just forgetting you and ignoring you.

Answer 7

Well, you did insist on him going. And it sound like he had a miserable time. Maybe you could tell him it upset you and make it up with something better than a club in NYC, something more personal to bring you closer for the new year.

Answer 8

Ok...i think that yes you cant help for being sick on new years..and i dont blame you for backing out...but i dont think he left you ethier..he doesnt want to get sick ...prob. and at the beginnin of the paragraph you said "I backed out last minute" and at the end you said "it wasn't like I just backed out" so which one is it?..did you or didnt you?...i think you should ask him to hang out with you when you are not sick...life goes on...hope you feel better..

Answer 9

Things don't always work out as planned, so don't be upset with that harsh reality.

Only the strong survive the game of life !

Answer 10

I think it's not a big deal. Yeah you were both away from eachother on New Years, but at least he called you with updates... so obviously he cares... hope you feel better.