people say 'move on! u deserve better!' but HOW can you if you Can't stop thinking about them??

Question

I WANT to move on. I Want to forget someone. I Want to believe there is someone else waiting for me, somewhere...but how Can i if i Can't get him off my mind, i can't eat right, sleep right, concentrate on my work.....etc etc and calling him up= being outright 'pathetic' (at least sulking in my room in front of the computer, no one will see and no one can tell b/c im good at seeming happy)... The words 'he's gone..forever' is so saaad if you read my other post 'what's going on'..you'll know more on my situation........................*tear*

"It's OK to be sad and depressed about a failed relationship as long as you don't let it go on for too long."

'too long'...is 7 months too long? =( yes, yes it is, aint it?

thanks for all you advice you guys...i just wanted to click the 'best answer' to all of them....thanks...
carlossli-, your analogy made me chuckle...lol "If you were going out with him and he broke up with you but said, we can still be friends, thats like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep her."

Answer 1

It's OK to be sad and depressed about a failed relationship as long as you don't let it go on for too long.

You need to love yourself more then a relationship that didn't work.

Answer 2

Everybody says you should move on, nobody said its easy...

I know exactly how you feel... but only time could mend your heart and if youre just sulking in your room thinking of him and reminiscing the times you were together, youre making it much harder for you to step forward. Moving on is an attitude, its telling to yourself that you shouldnt dwell on the past anymore and look at what you can do on things that are right in front of you. Unless you admit to yourself that there's nothing to expect of him anymore, youll not get over. Go out with friends, make an effort to have fun even if you dont feel like having fun. Make a journal, write everything you feel before you go to bed and write again before rising in the morning... Go to beauty salon and pamper yourself, cut your hair, color it, shop for pretty shoes, plant a seed in a pot and take care of it everyday, or get yourself a puppy.

Your whole life is about to change in a way that it will never be the same again. You’re opening a new chapter, and you have to give a proper good-bye to the old one. You don’t want to miss these moments, even the sad ones, because you’ll never get them back again. So enjoy this time... Let it wash over you so that your memories of it are strong.

You'll have a great 2007 ahead of you, don't waste it.

Answer 3

You can never forget. It won't happen. I know how you feel. You really, really, really, really, really, want to forget about them, but you just you can't. You feel that you're lost without them. If you were going out with him and he broke up with you but said, we can still be friends, thats like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep her. Just remember you probably had great times together. But, I know, that he'll never forget you either. He might also cry himself to sleep. You never know. A smile holds many secretes so you never know. He could still be thinking about you too. I STILL haven't completely healed after almost a year. Lean to love yourself, putting the pieces might take time, but these kinds of things make you stronger. Sure, they feel like they make you weaker, but they don't. Try to keep your mind off him and find another guy. Yes, there are plenty fish in the sea, but, don't look for a fish, look for a knight. Your night in shining armor. But, this other guy, he'll always be there, he left
FOOTPRINTS ON YOUR HEART

Answer 4

If you're sulking, not eating, not sleeping, then obviously, you don't want to move on.

If it's hopeless, you're going to get a bolt out of the blue eventually. Remember: desperation doesn't look good on anyone.

If you're good at faking in front of other people, try faking to yourself. Pretend you're over him. That doesn't mean you have to throw yourself at someone new. It means that you should look like you're happy being on your own. Have a talk with yourself in the mirror about how awesome you are and about how it's his loss and you'll find somebody better. Say it to yourself over and over. Pretend till it becomes real. Before you know it, you'll be over it, and it will be real.

Answer 5

I don't know if I can really help except to just relate. I know exactly what u mean. Going through it, too. All I really know for sure is that you have to let yourself mourn or grieve the loss of a relationship, it's the same as mourning the death of a person. And keep busy, try to keep ur mind off of him as much as possible, and enjoy the memories when they come and know that someday u will share comparable and even BETTER memories with someone new.

Answer 6

If you REALLY wanted to move on, you would. There is some benefit you are getting from keeping yourself in a blue funk. When you make up your mind that you're tired of being miserable then you'll shake it off and move on.

You're not supposed to forget, don't even try...you're supposed to get closure, put it behind you, and stop letting someone rent space in your head and heart for free...when they don't care about you (at least not as you do them). What's the point of putting yourself through what you are putting yourself through?

Stop calling him...busy yourself with other things...friends, work, school, hobbies, etc. Let yourself let go...until you give yourself permission to move on, you're not going to do it.

Answer 7

I posted to your other questoin too, go read it. Think you will feel better. I'm gonna level with you. If a person is on your mind that much, and you can't find something to get busy with to forget it, you might need to talk with someone who can give you professional advice, like a therapist or doctor. I'm not making fun either, just being serious. I haven't read your other post, if I have anything to add I'll come back and edit my response. The best thing to do is to find someone to replace him.

Answer 8

The harder you try to forget him, the more you will think about him. Forgetting is a passive thing.

What you must do is go to work, go work out, go visit friends, go get a new hobby, redecorate your place, etc. You must do other things to soak up your time until he slowly but surely starts to slip from your mind.

Expect that you will think about him even when you don't want to. Rather than get upset with yourself, be kind to yourself. Tell yourself that you are only human and that you cannot will yourself to forget somebody.

Time will heal this, so keep busy while you wait.

Answer 9

Here is the gospel truth. You will never move on......if......You don't concentrate on other things and other people. You didn't get diagnoised with cancer. Your love ones didn't get into a car accident. You have a broken heart, it's sad but not life threatening. You will live. We have all been there and lived to tell about it. But, I do understand your pain truly.
You will grow from this and learn some of life lessons, if you decide to. Now it is 2007' the start of the New Year. Order a pizza and eat some ice cream.
And tomorrow get on your treadmill and begin to live and heal.
Be brave and strong. I am woman, " Hear me roar".

Answer 10

Aww... moving on can be very difficult, so is getting your ex-significant other off your mind. Usually, however, we're so caught up in this person and how they were so "good to us" but not thinking about the things that made us break up. I'm not sure what you went through with this person, but it was bad enough for one of you to leave the other. Obviously he's not worth your thoughts. Remember that and it may make things a little bit better.

Answer 11

My granny always told me that you can't argue with your heart because you'll never win. So go with your heart, maybe you're still in love, but if you know that you are not but still can't seem to get over him first you maybe need to learn to FORGIVE him and your heart will allow you to move on because you trying to force yourself isn't healthy for you. Stop listening to what everyone says because its a saying that misery loves company and most of the time people will try to make you unhappy because they are. Go and hang out and have a good time and TRY to allow yourself to do that!!!

You just need a really good friend right now! Good Luck!