i'm 19 and my family still treat me like a child. how can i overcome this?

Question

everytime i have an opinion to say, they just ignore it. i believe i do good in school. i am the president in our class, a schoolpaper editor, an officer in 2 school orgs and just doing fine in studies. but when i'm at home, i feel so invisible.

i cant blame either because they are better than me in more ways but i dont want to live with this low self-esteem. how could have others believed in me and they, my family, do not?

i have told them to stop this treatment to me but they just implied that i'm being a childish again. in this situation, i dont know who is hopeless. them or me? help!

Answer 1

You've got one more little lesson to learn hon, just before being an adult. It's that you can't tell people how to treat you, you can only show them.

You allow your family to treat you this way hon. What would you do if one of your friends at school, or your vice-president or an underling at the paper treated you in this way? How would you react to that? Probably not the same way you do when your family does it to you.

Part of the problem is that your family knows you from day 1, whereas your friends and fellow students only know what they see now. If you can let go of who you were, then your family will too. Until then, all of you are trapped in this cycle; be the one to break it :)

Answer 2

of course, you have large psychological fortitude in case you have been able to triumph over an ingesting illness on your very own. although, given your toddlers journey of abuse and your modern-day problems it would seem which you were unable to clean up each and every thing your self. Counseling can and could help you and should no longer be considered with the aid of you as a weak point. Counseling will additionally no longer be able to erase the previous. What ought to ensue is which you liberate that drawer, make order and then close, no longer lock, it back. considering the fact which you're clean relating to the probable source of your difficulty and characteristic shown potential of character I are anticipating feeling extra helpful, extra suitable and extra useful after a no longer very long set of classes. i'm no longer a professional counselor or therapist yet I do have existence journey and experience strongly approximately what I even have written you. good success!

Answer 3

First off, act your age. Do you really believe that all your "accomplishments" make you worthy of having your feet kissed or something? Your high school clubs and activities are not ground-breaking feats. They are good accomplishments - but they are not something that means you are an adult nor that you deserve to be treated like one, especially if you're taking your issues to an online realm like this.

Adults don't turn to a bunch of rank amateur psychologists for advice or guidance. Real adults go to places where advice is given - guidance counselors, pastors/preachers/priests, therapists (and I don't mean these cheesy call-in shows like Dr. Laura) and other places of such. But this is typically after they have tried to solve the issue one-on-one, face to face.

To be an adult you have to act like one - and by running here you've proven you're not. If you feel invisible and that you're being treated badly, then talk to your parents one-on-one with no music, television or anything else around to distract you and them. Be calm - be rational - listen and do not argue or turn a conversation into a crying fit or shouting match. Do not call names - and do not sink to the level of "you don't understand me" because that's an immature pre-teen level.

Also realize that parents are just that - parents, not friends! Parents that treat their kids like friends while they are under their roof are what is wrong with kids today - no authority figure. Parenting sucks - so does being a child. Neither side likes it - but both sides have to go through it for at least 18 years.

I disliked many a thing my parents did to me, including putting my younger sister above me. I resented it for years even after I moved out. Now - I pity my sister because she still calls them each time she has a family-wide cold and begs for help from Mum. I just laugh - because I am the stronger person because I listened to the tough things, fought through the harder things, and still remained true to myself at the age that I was.

Even at 19 I felt like you - and hated it. But unlike you, I did nothing about it except deal with it. So you have that choice too - deal with it or confront them with it. The confrontation might go bad - it might now. No one can say. But you might want to consider just dealing with it and taking your lumps. You might end up a better, stronger and more observant person of things because of it and have a lot of success in your life.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Do you still live at home? If you do and are out of high school, taking responsibility and living on your own may remedy that a little. You need to be the bigger person and be a little less whiney about this whole situation. Someday you are going to want them to baby you again and it is going to be when you have your own kids.

Answer 5

Your parents are overprotective. You may be 19 but you are still their "little girl". Some parents just cant bare to see their child grow up. This is a serious issue and it can possibly cause a great deal of emotional strain on both you and your parents. Tell them how you really feel. If you sit down with them, and show emotion, they might awaken.

Answer 6

Growing up i experienced more of the same feel. No one cared when i voiced my opinion. But as life progressed, i guess maturity and responsiblity took thier toll with me. Uve got to proof to ur family a lot of things through out ur life. Cant really base it on ur age rightnow. Give it time. In the future thier going to be seeking ur advice on family matters, or just other issues.

Answer 7

Maybe getting a job would help- it acts as proof of all that responsibility you're talking about, and shows your maturity. Try talking to them- not being emotional or over-reacting, and tell them you suspect that they claim that such objections are 'childish' more for the purposes of dismissing the issue than actually tackling your concerns.

Answer 8

Your panrents will always think of you as a child but they will slowly let go some and relize you are an adult.
I was 19 and had my bought my own house and car paying all my bills and had a 1 year old and they still treated me like I was 10 years old ! They will slowly let go its probably just hard for them to think of you as an adult.

Answer 9

You have to be firm but respectful to your parents, tell them how you are feeling and that you are capable of making your own decisions. You are young and will make mistakes but it is for you to do in order to learn and grow. Just remind them that they too were young and learned from the mistakes that they made growing up. You have to set them in their place with a subtle straight forward way. But do this in a respectable way, dont go full throttle and start lecturing them, just tell them that you would like to discuss something that has been on your mind and ask them to listen to you before replying.

Answer 10

No offense, but that'll probably continue to happen for a while. I'm 21 and I still find it difficult for my family to take me seriously. I don't think you're being childish at all, just give it time. Soon enough they will realize that you are maturing into a woman and give you more credit/respect.