My husband and I live in a rental that his mother owns. The people upstairs are noisy trash! My husband argues with me constantly about everything including me complaining of the noise. I mean it is crazy up there! So he tells the people to "ignore me I have a problem with everyone and noise". So now they do whatever they want and basically laugh in my face when I ask them to keep it down due to what he said. His mother treats me the same way. I am tired of the arguments and complete strangers ruining my marriage in a way. What do I do/say and to who????
2007-01-01 12:44:17 · 15 answers · asked by Samantha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I should add that the noise wakes up our kids and the only reason it does not bother husband is he is always drunk and sleeps real sound so i sit up and listen to it
2007-01-01 13:19:04 · update #1
It's obvious your husband has very little respect for you. What you do is obviously up to you but your marriage can't continue like this.
Speak to him and make sure he understands he is serious. Set a scenario in your head where enough will be enough and tell him. If you don't then your marriage will suffer 'death by a thousand cuts' and one day you will look at your situation and wonder how the hell things got the way they did.
If and when you reach your line in the sand then take the action you threatened to. If the shoe was on the other foot and my wife treated me like that I'd be out the door, but thats me.
But it starts with you setting some boundaries, telling (not asking) your husband what they are then sticking to them.
It's not easy but it's better than what you have right now.
2007-01-01 12:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Morgan W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Complete strangers aren't ruining your marriage. Your husband has no respect for you, or your feelings. Evidently, it's a matter of behavior passed down from his mother.
You have to respect yourself enough to say that you won't take the disrespect from him any longer. I'd let him know that you won't take it from his mother either. Then I'd look for another place, and tell him he's welcome to come along if his attitude towards you, and your relationship comes into line with what's proper.
Counselling may help, but not until you're prepared and capable of standing up for yourself, otherwise it will be money wasted.
Best of luck.
2007-01-01 20:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is with your husband. Your husband is suppose to love and protect: and sounds like he is allowing others the opportunity to hurt you as well as him. Do you husband hear the noise or is it only made when he is not at home?
2007-01-02 04:22:55 · answer #3 · answered by neenarosdee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say but the one ruining your marriage is you and your husband. It is easy to blame others but if that's the way your husband treats and you put up with it then what are you expecting? He has no respect for you.
2007-01-01 21:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered moving to a place that is not owned by any relatives? Also I think you need to have a heart to heart with your husband about his lack of respect towards you. What is spoken between a husband and wife should stay between them, unless it is harmful to one or the other. Married couples should npt badmouth each other to anyone.
2007-01-01 20:52:27 · answer #5 · answered by Laurie L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your main problem is not the neighbors. It is not even your mother-in-law. Your problem is between you and your husband.
You can certainly call the police whenever the neighbors are creating a disturbance. You can see how your husband reacts to this.
I hope you haven't had any children with this unsettled situation between you and your husband.
2007-01-01 21:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to be rude but, the best way to deal with this is for you and your husband to get a place which is not owned by his mother, that way if there is a problem you can get a landlord who will hopefully deal with it. She sounds like your typical mother-in-law and you will get no where with her and it sounds like your husband needs to learn to stand up for his wife and not against her, maybe he would be different if his mother didnt own the place
2007-01-01 20:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually not a hard one to answer. Tell him like it is. Side with you and do something about the noise by going up there himself or talking to his mom,or tell him them or you,let him decide. BUT most of all be firm and stand by your decisions and don't let him run over you. That is not a true marriage. Personally I would tell him we either move or I am moving by myself!
2007-01-01 20:49:27 · answer #8 · answered by shellbug12002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you i would take your husband some were remote you know some were you can really talk tell him what's really going on and how you feel about everything including him and then you let him talk and well you let fate take care of the rest.
I Hope This Helps
2007-01-01 20:52:22 · answer #9 · answered by Karen N 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me that your husband has no respect for you or your feelings. It also sounds like you are through with him. I think you should move, try and rebuild your marriage and if that doesn't work sadly you may have to consider moving on to someone who truly loves you.
2007-01-01 21:10:20 · answer #10 · answered by ccdispatch911 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋