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My daughter is a year and 2 months. She has a high pitched scream that can peel paint from the walls. For a while there tapping her on the hand was doing the trick. But not she screams kicks and hits! Any suggestions?

2007-01-01 12:15:09 · 14 answers · asked by Rebecca P 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

14 answers

I think that the screaming and the hitting can be unrelated. Our son sometimes screamed in anger or frustration, but most of the time it was random. Annoying? Embarrassing? Yes! But is that really something to discipline? After all, they're just testing their pipes and learning to make sounds. The scream is a doozy and will get the attention of every single person in the grocery store. "Cool!" thinks your toddler. I'm not saying you can't try to modify this behavior, just that it's not necessarily misbehaving.

As for the hitting, I don't think that hitting your child to tell them not to hit, or how much it hurts is a good idea. At that age they are not capable of empathy - if something is fun for them, it's fun for you, too. Any reaction, a howl of pain or yelling/scolding is a fine reaction as far as your toddler is concerned. They'll keep it up just to see if they can get the same reaction every time.

Try putting your daughter down and walking away. For a couple days you say, "I can't pick you up because you yell and hit". "I can't play with you because you yell and hit". "I can't understand you when you're yelling". It's agony on you, but it works. If they continue to hit, give all the attention to whomever they hit. Ignore your daughter completely. Say in a very calm voice, "I don't like it when you hit" and turn your back.

Kids are smart - when she realizes she gets NO reaction or worse - someone else gets all the attention, she'll quit.

2007-01-03 06:30:36 · answer #1 · answered by eli_star 5 · 0 0

Stop hitting her on the hand. She is learning to hit from somewhere.

She is just a baby. Don't give her extra attention when she screams - IF she is screaming for no reason. The likelihood is that she is not, however. Children at that age cannot tell their guardian "what's wrong". She may be in pain. I would take her to the doctor, have her checked, and get his opinion on what you can do as soon as possible. 'Tapping' her on the hand will not solve anything beyond frustrating her further. Can you imagine how awful it must be to have something wrong but when you scream about it noone understands and people hurt you for yelling? She does not have the mental abilities to verbalize her words or say everything she needs. I think the pediatrician could help you figure out what's wrong with your baby. It may just be frustration, remember. Don't let yourself believe it is manipulation. No baby wants negative attention.

Good luck.

2007-01-01 13:12:32 · answer #2 · answered by Me, Thrice-Baked 5 · 1 0

Just because two kids in the class are going through some kind of a phase doesn't mean there is something "going on" necessarily. If the parents have concerns about their children's behaviour, they should be addressing it with the school. Not because the school is at fault, but to determine if the same behaviour is displayed at school, if anything has been happening at school that could be leading to the behaviour, if their child is adjusting well socially, getting along with other children, etc. EDIT - So what IS going on?? EDIT - If the principal has actually approached you and informed you that something is going on but he cant tell you what, and 1/3 of the class is having behavioural problems at home, then I would seriously consider finding a new school

2016-05-23 04:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

She is old enough to start giving her a time out. Put her in her pack n play or something.
In my opinion I think that you "tapping her on the hand" is only going to make her think that kicking and hitting is OK. Two wrongs don't make a right.

You also should tell her firmly "NO" then finish with .. we don't hit, or we don't yell.

Stay consistent and she will realize that those things are not OK.

2007-01-01 13:11:21 · answer #4 · answered by Heather 5 · 0 0

I agree with the first answer 100%.

First off, it's nothing you did or didn't do that has caused her to learn this behavior of kicking and hitting. It's only human nature to raise a hand (or foot) to someone. This is just like the "biting back" method. She doesn't realize that what hurts others also will hurt her. You need to show her that by spanking her when she hits. This is NOT promoting hitting, this is showing her that hitting hurts. Once she realizes it hurts, she will stop.

Above answerers have suggested time outs, which I completely disagree with. Your daughter kicks someone and the only penalty for that is sitting somewhere for a couple minutes? If sitting is punishment, then I'm being punished right now! Time outs do not work. People can try and convince you they do all they want, but the truth is--they don't.

Spank her when she hits or kicks. That will put an end to this problem very quickly.

2007-01-01 12:32:32 · answer #5 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 3 4

I just asked a question like this one a while ago.... I have this book too from ages 15-17 months, and in it, it talks about temper tantrums. I'm guessing this is quite common... our son has been lightly hitting himself, hitting me now sometimes (not too hard), and now throwing tempers where he will sit down really hard throw his head back on the floor, crying and kicking. For those types of moments, this book says to keep calm, and ignore them, as long as they aren't hurting themselves. I notice this helps with my son... he will get up happy even sometimes!

Things this book says is to: provide consistant routines-bedtime, feedings, etc.
Let her know ahead of time if there is a change in activity (Read story, then time for bed.
Give your child some choices- red or blue shirt
Try to stay away from things/places that set off the tantrums.
Ignore them as long as they aren't hurting you or themselves. If they are, then distract them, hold them close, bring to safe, quiet place to calm down.
When child is calm, talk to her about her feelings.
Talk to doctor if need more assistance.

For the hitting- when he hits me, I say No no. I then say that isn't nice to hit, or we don't hit people hunny. I say it calmly as possible too. This helps. But really, I think it's like almost anything else when you don't want him getting into something, (example we don't let our son play with DVD's)... we have told him No to that since 8months... and he leaves them alone. So they are learning... and if you keep it up consistantly telling them no no... they should stop. My son has slowed down on hitting me and himself, but the temper tantrums have just started a few days ago.

Goodluck, hope this helps... and know you aren't at fault as a parent. They are learning, and can't fully communicate with us just yet, so when they have a frustration, they might not always know how to let their frustration out. I also feel spanking won't let them know what they are doing is wrong. It will only make things worse, and they are so young, and learning, they really don't need to be spanked. A No No is ok. They can learn from that. When our parents watch our son, they always mention how well he listens when they say No...
Goodluck! I think it's a phase that will pass, just be calm with her, and tell her No, you don't need to scream at me, explain things as much as you can so she understands. But ignore the temper tantrums if you can.

2007-01-01 13:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by m930 5 · 1 0

Lock her in the Kennel with the Killer dog of yours. I can't believe you would want to train a dog to be viscous with a baby in the house. I thought you were just some teenage boy that wanted to train his dog to attack, to be cool or something. But now that I know you have kid that is different. As for your daughter let her scream until she stops only then should go get her from her crib or what ever.

2007-01-01 23:45:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

I suspect you have overly empowered her? Some say there is such a thing as strong-willed children ... and my sister says this about her son ... but she and her husband used to let their son stay up late, gave him everything he wanted, drove around for an hour in the car at night to "rock" him to sleep. It they slapped his butt for misbehavior, he'd hit them back with such defiance. She had to put the car seat in the family room and strap him in it, just to contain him. If she put him in time-out, her husband would go into his room, talk to him and let him out (which underminded my sister's authority). It was a bunch of hogwash. It wasn't until my sister was pregnant with her second child and her 2 1/2 year old son kicked her in the stomach did she finally tell her husband they needed to take parenting classes and admitted that my nephew was out of control.

You've got to remember that at such a young age, she can not adequately express herself with words ... so crying and hitting are her way of communicating her anger.

Now, if you are absolutely sure your child is not the queen of the household, then you may want to consult a pediatrician about this, because then it could be a physical or mental condition.

2007-01-01 12:24:47 · answer #8 · answered by americansneedtowakeup 5 · 1 1

Time outs work too. Put her in her playpen for a while with no toys. Make her learn that wrong actions will get her funtime taken away. Thats how we are teaching my neice and she's learning pretty well from time out. Sometimes an occasional swat on the bum or leg (but not hard) does the trick too. And if all else fails, bribe her with candy or something. Hope this helps and good luck!

2007-01-01 12:21:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 5

Awful young for a time out, but something should be done about her behavior before she gets much older.

2007-01-01 12:19:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

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