or show signs of disaproval heck even sulk..When you make a decision that doesn't involve them about your own life...I live in England and have been offered a perfect job in Ireland doing something i'm passionate about which is working in the Equine industry...Instead of my mother been pleased for me that I could be happy she's thrown a wobbler and refuses to speak to me...Any sensible advice would be appreciated
2007-01-01 12:09:00 · 20 answers · asked by . 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My father still calls me "boy".
As for the job - life is not a dress rehearsal.Take the job or you will always regret it AND blame your parents.
2007-01-01 20:03:09 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's sad but it's common. If your kids are your life, what happens when they grow up? Some people just have a hard time letting go. You shouldn't hate her for it, as she has possibly lived her life for you and any siblings you may have. Other parents would throw a party if the kids moved out, as they want their lives back, so which parents would you really like?
She will probably come around, but it is tough for her, and she's not handling it at all well. She is probably thinking that you love horses more than you love her, which she'll need reassuring about.
But on the other hand you have to live your life, and be who you are. She will come around, unless she is immaturely bitter and resentful and goes for the whole cutting the nose off to spite the face tantrum..
2007-01-01 12:24:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love my mom too bits, but she tends to try her luck every so often. She manages to make me feel guilty if a grab a quick drag of a cigarette though (I stopped smoking about 2 months ago). She has become especially bad now since my Dad passed away. The only advice I have is to invite her for a cup of tea and talk to her. Tell her that although you love her, you want her to respect your decisions. Tell her that this is something you want to do, and that it makes you unhappy when she reacts this way. Tell her that you don't like to do things that she doesn't like, but that as much as you love her, you need to spread your wings a little. Tell her that all that you wish for, is that she be proud of you, but be there to help dust you off if you make mistakes. Throw in a lot of respect, love and appreciation for her and all she has done. (reverse psychology) This usually calms them down, and makes them realise that NO you are NOT leaving them, just moving on with your life on a different road from them. Good luck! She sounds like she really loves you so be patient with her. She will come around. DON'T under any circumstances let her change your mind. Do what you want to, it's your life. This will be a small victory, but the following ones get easier and easier as you move away from her with your life.
2007-01-01 17:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband's mother has the same hold on him. I'm a mother of a 21-year-old. He'll be graduating from college this year and likely heading off to another state. It's going to be very hard to see him go (he's forever 8 years old in my heart), but it's his time. Not mine. Go to Ireland and enjoy. Your mother will be just fine (and if not, you have no reason to feel guilty). You can stay in touch via email or even a webcam. So go! Congratulations on the job offer - I love Ireland and wish I could go with you!!!!
2007-01-01 12:14:18 · answer #4 · answered by mJc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Parents have a habit of being like that.. Think the best way to approach her is sorta like actin like late-teen/early twenties... "Look Mum, I love ya and im really, really gonna miss ya but this Job could be the best thing to ever happen to me... If i go and its not all i want, then at least i can say ive tried and can hold my head high" Use this sorta psychology.... I did with various parts of my life and now my parents respect me enough to let me make my own mistakes and been proud if ive been right and been there for me when i was wrong.... Good luck to ya, hope it works out....
2007-01-01 12:41:52 · answer #5 · answered by Gritty Shaker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, parents are going to do that; its part of their process, kinda like when we grow up and mature. They will grow into this parent thing and will eventually be ok with your endeavors and trust you. It took my mom many years, but as I got older and began doing more and living my life, they got tired of worrying and wasting their energies on things they couldn't change. They became more interested in cheering from the sidelines of my life as opposed to trying to dictate it. Give them time. Your parents will be that way, too. This is just a phase they're going through.
2007-01-01 12:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by volkgal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heck Hun, I'm 32 and my folks don't even know I smoke! (though I am trying to give up!).
I have a Dad who is a total control freak. He totally lost his marbles when I told him that McCatterie and me want to move up to Scotland (Edinburgh) later this year!
Don't let her bring you down, or influence your decision. Some parents just have a hard time growing up!...
2007-01-01 18:10:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
my daughter lives in portsmouth at uni and she is going in the army next year. I would not act like that i have brought them up to be independant. they are stupid, they are probably not aware of what they are doing,
This is about them and thier lives, tell them to get a life, this is about control and power, You have got to press pass the pain of feeling guilty, you have done nothing to feel guilty about,
Ignore them, you do not need their approval although it would be nice, you are not a kid anymore and you have to make your own choices, don,t please them your own happiness is important. They are being quite selfish.
It wont be easy doing your own thing but do it anyway you are an adult now, its a shame they cannot stop being so self centred adn think about your happiness. read joycemeyers approval addiction she,s put you straight, don,t give in to them, you have to think about your own happiness one day they will relise they cannot have power over you and they will give up trying, but it wont be easy for you if they have been like this for years and making you feel guilty but you can do it, tell yourself you can and go for it, all the best to you God bless. www.joycemeyers.org approval addiction
2007-01-01 12:21:22 · answer #8 · answered by dendeedenise 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you do what you want and ignore them. It's your life and it is the only life you have. Very soon you will be 60 and it might be too late for regrets. Your parents have lived their lives, now it's your time to live yours.
2007-01-01 19:01:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the store and buy some boxes and tape
pack your stuff
give away what you can't take with you.
Go be with the horses in Ireland and leave Eeyore in England. Mail her some thistles from time to time (just kidding).
Also, she does not make you feel guilty - you allow it.
2007-01-01 12:16:30 · answer #10 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋