ok, i've been dating this guy named Zach for about two weeks, and before that we talked for about a week and a half. I've liked him for over a year, and he calims to have liked me for a long while too. But at the time i was with this other guy that i broke up with cuase he was a jerk. So Zach asked me out and yeah. The thing is is that i think hes afriad of physical contact. He has yet to hold my hand or anything. He is a really shy person, is that it? Or could it be something else? Anyone else find this weird? I really, really like him, but i find this weird.
2007-01-01 12:04:21 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, he could just be a really shy guy. It's amazing how much courage it takes for a shy person even to hold hands for the first time. And after going out with a jerk, which i expect means that he was exactly the opposite, trying to touch too much.
The main thing with a shy guy is that they have a massive fear of rejection of any sort, so it is easier not to hold your hand in case you might pull away (we know better though).
So there are three ways that you could approach this situation. Firstly, you could let him take it slow and do it in his own time, which could be a very long time depending on how shy he is. Secondly you could bring it up in conversation, telling him how much you like him and dropping hints about holding hands (or you could be more blunt I guess, this is the option I'm the least sure on).
Thirdly, You could just take matters into your own hands (literally) just as your walking along, or in a movie, grab his hand! If he really likes you, and it's just because he's shy that he won't hold your hand, then he will be suprised and maybe look a little scared at first, but I'll bet he'll smile and be loving every minute!
2007-01-01 12:19:01 · answer #1 · answered by Matt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people are very sensual and sensitive to physical touch. He might just be afraid for you to see just How Much he likes you. I sugest that you take the initiative and hold his hand, and if he seems to get all bashful, just be really tender and sweet to him, like you are nurturing him. he will appreciate that and learn to relax a little. I am that way myself, not a lot of touching or hugging going on when I was a child, so I am starved yet oversensitized to touch. I think he may be the same way
2007-01-01 12:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't weird, its like the reverse for a girl about a guy. They still have to get used to this person-in-dating and it takes time for real physical things, on shy people and others. try holding his hand, if he rejects your attempt then talk to him about what his issue with physical contact may be. There is nothing wrong with him, he likes you but it takes a little patience, especially if he is that shy. Good luck
2007-01-01 12:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not weird. Hes probably giving you some space since you had a jerk the last time. Why don't you try holding his hand for awhile. No kisses yet don't want to scare him off or anything. Just take it slow.
2007-01-01 12:18:53 · answer #4 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very normal for young guys with no experience. Make him feel comfortable holding your hand. Take his hand next time you see him and let him know what you want. Certainly, don't push anything else right now. Good luck!
2007-01-01 12:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try casually holding his hand (slowly.....don't just grab it).
If he is shy, he is just waiting for you to help him or signal it is okay for him to make the move.
If it is movie night try laying your head on one of his legs for a cushion and see how he reacts.......if he touches your head then he has warmed up to you.
Hope this helps.
2007-01-01 12:10:59 · answer #6 · answered by narcisscus24 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well... quite honostlly i used to be like this. I dont think that it is that wierd. He is probley just really nervous. Get him loosened up and then he will be fine. Trust me.
2007-01-01 12:10:18 · answer #7 · answered by Speb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has only been 2 wks. give it more time he could be only trying to be a gentleman.
2007-01-01 12:08:14 · answer #8 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you take the initial step then! Let him know that it is okay to touch you.
2007-01-01 12:08:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not have any idea what sort of thing you'd welcome, and what you'd reject... so he's playing it (too) safe by not trying anything. Or he may be clueless. Why don't you take the initiative?
2007-01-01 12:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by Egghead 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋