Self harm, Think i'm losing it?

Question

i started about 2 3 years ago ermm it started off first time ever was at work. then when i started getting depressed and was numb and panicie. now i do it for them reasons plus i see the scars and just seem to want more. I get mad when i cut and there not as deep as i want and when a cut is all i do is say yes and smile over and over again. no one ever sees my cuts or sees me cut ever i seem to keep looking and touching them. Something can't be right with this. Have i lost it?

Answer 1

Not totally, because you are reaching out.

You really need to see a counselor fast before someone finds you dead in a pool of blood with a smile on your face.
2-3 years ago,...you are way past the due date of seeking help, go now and save your own life.

Hurt is never good, even if you're used to it.

Answer 2

No, you have not lost it. This problem is more common than you know. I also started doing this a few years ago. I know the rush you get when you see the blood come out. I know that, at that time, feeling the pain and seeing the red is extremely satisfying. And I know this is a very dangerous habit and there are other ways to get your feelings out. A very scary one I did was last Christmas, when I wanted to cut my wrist- not to die- just to see the blood squirting out. I had to go to a mental health facility for my own good. PLEASE contact a good counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist. Explain why you need to come in. Tell them how strong your feelings are to do this. If someone doesn't want to see you right away, try someone else. Some doctors don't realize how important it is to address this. It's as if they think it will just go away. I'll be thinking about you and praying this doesn't go further. I've been in Counseling now for a long time. And I also attend a DBT group once a week. This is dialectical behavioral training. You learn how to react different to negative situations, and I've been going since last March. It really helps, and it's been months since I cut. Some other people in the group are cutters too, so don't think you're a freak or anything. As I said, please get help right away. I know my scars are embarrassing now. You can get to the point of not wanting to do it anymore, too. I wish you the BEST of luck! P.S. If you have a strong urge and can't get a doctor, go to the E.R. and explain what's going on. Don't be embarrassed, your life depends on it. Good Luck!

Answer 3

No, you're not going mad. I self harm and sometimes get the feelings you do. I start when I get stressed about anything and when I've cut I don't feel the stress any more yet I still cut because I feel I have to cut the whole of my arm. I don't know why I do this, I just do. I do go mad when I cut and have sometimes gone too deep (especially on the wrists) and needed medical intervention. I would suggest you talk to someone about the reasons why you self harm in the first place, your gp should be the first point of call. They won't judge you for doing this.

Answer 4

According to the reading I have done regarding hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), the brain, when it senses that blood sugar is low, will do sometimes strange things to get the blood sugar (glucose) out of storage and into the blood stream. Adrenaline is one sure way to do this. If cutting and the pain that results causes you to get an adrenaline rush, then low blood sugar is probably the cause.

Suggestion? Put off cutting for 30 minutes. Go to the kitchen now and get some protein, meat, a can of tuna (salmon is better) or whatever, and eat it. Also have some carbohydrate, like a handful of chips, an apple, or some carrots/celery, and also some nuts or peanut butter. Eat at least 2 ounces of the protein. Then drink a glass of water and do something else for 30 minutes. You may find your need to cut has lessened a bit.

Chronic low blood sugar can also cause self-esteem problems, anger management problems and a whole bunch of other physical and mental nasties. You may want to check out the symptoms link on www.hufa.org, and see how you check out.

Answer 5

My new husband has self harmed for a long time..Since we have been together he has only cut himself once.He went to anger managemnet classes as he had a lot of issues when he was younger..His mum was paraplegic and he was a young teenager at the time,It was put upon him to do everything for her .She died when he was 18.Then he ended up with cancer and is currently in remission.I know he battles with his circumstances every day but with outside help and suggestions from self help groups etc you can and will be able to stop or at least lessen the cutting.It will never completely go away.Its a disease honey.And a very misunderstood one at that.if you can isolate the reasons why you do it..ie: as you say work etc..then this is not helping you at all..Maybe gp first..Then be signed off for a while..There are groups you can do to find out other interests you have.Then look for another carreer sweetie.
You can and will beat this if you ACT NOW.
best wishes Kaeylarae xxxx

Answer 6

First of all, self harm is DEFINITELY not the way to go when you're feeling really low and depressed. I know you get pleasure from cutting, but there are so many other things out there that you can enjoy too, without the dangers of hurting yourself. Your problem is harming you both physically and emotionally, and you don't deserve to be hurt like this.

Have you seen a doctor or counsellor about your depression? If not, this is an ideal time to do it. You are clearly feeling really down right now, and you don't have to suffer in silence. Sometimes it can seem like talking through your feelings is getting you nowhere, but it's good to know that others understand the pain you are going through and that they are there for you; it proves that you are loved.

Unfortunately, recovering from depression is a long and painful process, as there is no "magic" cure. Trust me, though, you will get back to your old self. There are so many opportunities for you to seize - you just need to find them. Maybe try doing something really simple at the moment, like joining an exercise class or a group for something else you are interested in. It might seem like absolute torture for you at first, but this will allow you to meet like-minded people and it will gradually improve your confidence and feeling of self-worth.

Just remember: no one deserves to be depressed, and cutting yourself is only adding to your problem. Please stop, for your own sake. Good luck. :o)

Answer 7

Self Mutulation can be the result of several causes, even to draw attention to oneself, which is not your case since you take every effort to be certain no one sees the scars.
Here is an excerp:
Some people injure themselves to release tension or anger. Others do it to control racing thoughts or to "feel more alive." Some find injuring themselves takes their mind off an underlying depression or anxiety. Some say it's the only way they can get people to pay attention to how much emotional pain they are in. Still others hurt themselves because they hear voices commanding them to.

You need to turn to the phone book and call your Mental Health Agency and actually follow through with an appointment, during this time you need to "Reveal All."
Do not get ego ridden by labels, hoping for the worst label or anything of that nature, it happens often. "Do not assume you have depression until you are diagnosed as such. Be prepared to be in a hospital for a short period of time to evaluate your condition, and diagnose you, as well as, determine what medications and degree of councilling you will require.
Also, remember the only choices here are no help and you will die eventually from this behavior. Seek help, which means you must put effort forth to arrive at the place you want to be.
Try to keep a journal of your daily activities, places you go and your feelings in regard to that, people you are with, and those feelings. Write everything associated with you and your feelings, and activities in this journal. take to mental health with you, this is necessary. Remember to include dates and times for each entry.
I wish you truly, the best of luck and remember help is available and you can get better if you seek the help that is out there.

Answer 8

You haven't lost it, I am a mother to a teenager who has just experimented with this recently, within the first week thankfully she told me, i had no idea how to react.

I rang my doctors who wouldn't give me an appointment for a week.(Helpful as ever)so they gave me the NHS number for advice, 0845 4647 (Shorter number than you would expect i know) if you would rather say you are ringing about a friend and you want advice they may be ok without a name of the person, I was put through to a nurse who specialises in this field (and had personal experience with a daughter of her own, so she said) she was brilliant, very clear & very positive, I dont usually have good experiences with nurses or GPs particularly.
For children/teens i was told to ask through the GP for an urgent referal to CAMS (Child & Adolesent mental health service) There must be one for adults,

On the day my daughter told me, through shock I said if she didn't do it anymore i wouldn't take her to talk to anyone, on talking to the NHS advice nurse i decided to take her to our GP to put it on her record and let her know it is a serious thing, she promised me she wouldn't do it again, the last cuts she did were deeper & throbbed all day which is why she said she decided to tell me.
We went to the GP but decided that it is on her file and she has kept her promise not to do it again, the GP agreed to put it on file but no referral was neccessary as long as i keep any eye on her. this has been about a month so far.
We lost our little dog a few months ago who she had grown up with from a puppy, this could well be a reaction to something she didn't know how to handle, I may be grasping at straws with the dog thing, I have been advised it can become a habit, the secretiveness is a buzz, there is always a reason or trigger that started it, you will find that trigger / reason if you look, the answers wont all come at you in one go, but you may well begin to understand why it started. I hope this helps, please ring NHS for advice.

Answer 9

No, not really. In fact it's natural to want to get that adrenaline going, it makes you feel alive. I'm not sure why you choose to cut yourself to get a rise though. There are lots of other ways to achieve the same feelings, you just need to explore more. Life is full of surprises. Try and introduce a few new things in your life and see where it takes you. Who knows, you may just be a closet adrenaline junkie.
I know people see this whole self harm thing as a biggy but in reality most people do it in one way or another. Some people starve themselves or overeat, smokers do it to themselves all day long, people with cholesterol problems sneak off to burger joints, addicts pump harmfull chemicals into themselves and so on. There is just no fun in being perfect. Just try having fun a clever way.

Answer 10

cutting has changed in the past few years at one point 20 some years ago when I first confessed that I was cutting immediatly I was sent to treatment for abuse issues because at that time that was about the only people who did cut were abuse survivors now cutting has become almost an addiction with alot of the younger folk some cut to fit in and others just cut so that they can show off their scars the sad part of all of that is that the true cuttters that are abuse survivors are going to be harder to pick out because with a society addicted to the cutting epidemic an abuse survivor just gets lost in the shuffle