This guy that i talk to i really like him he told me he loves me and we are just friends i love him to. we have so much in common he thanks me for being in his wife as a good person and a friend. we call each other baby and boo alot as if we are in a relationship. Today he called me and told me he tried to go see his ex girlfriend, he hasnt saw her in 6 years they was enaged and she up and left him. He said he wanted to hook back up with her today and work it out but he found out that she lied to him again and found out she sleep with a guy and lied about it and said she was in jail. I dont know but i did cried cause i feel hurt, i mean i thought that he really wanted to be with me or we was getting to that level, i felt so close to him like he was a best friend and now that i know this it just hurts and now if he wanted to be in a relationship i wouldnt wanna be cause of this. How can u tell someone u love them and try to hook back u with ur ex. I feel hurt. what should I do? idk
2007-01-01 11:49:37 · 22 answers · asked by kidd_nolia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When he told you that he loved you, did he mean romantically or as his friend? My best friend and I say we love each other all the time, and call each other babe. But its not that kind of love. Its like the way you love your sister/brother.
Maybe you need to talk to this guy and tell him how you feel and you thought thats what he meant as well. I think there is a huge misunderstanding here and you need to sort it or it will destroy your friendship.
2007-01-01 11:55:18 · answer #1 · answered by loza500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, by the words in your explaination, it sounds to me like he made it perfectly clear that he was keeping you in the "Friend Zone". However, you seem to have been applying wishfull thinking, & expected more from your relationship than he did.
I am so sorry that things have gone the way they have, but now you may be in a better position to see things through to the conclusion that you were hoping for.
Obviously he wasn't completely over his ex until today. Once he has had a chance to digest the latest turn of events, he will probably have a new perspective on the ex, & will be ready to move on without her now. That will make him a much better prospect for you today than he was yesterday.
Give him a couple of days to think things over, & let him know where you were in your thinking on your relationship with him, & how you were affected when he told you what went on between him, & his ex.
Guy's can be pretty dense sometimes, & end up walking all over a girls heart without even realizing it. Shine a light on his actions for him, & tell him how he affected you in as kind a way as you can manage, & see what his reaction to that is.
You have nothing to lose at this point.
2007-01-01 12:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Love" is not a romantic notion. I have friends I love with all my heart, but don't want to be in a relationship with. If you don't feel that you can be "just friends" with him, then you need to tell him what you want from him, or walk away completely.
You need to think carefully before you do anything though. Once you act it may not be possible to turn back.
I have friends that I have wanted to be with (and still do though I know it can't happen in a few cases) ... I've decided that their friendship is too important to me for me to walk away from it. Some I've talked to about it because I felt our friendship was strong enough to withstand it, some still don't know ... some I've ended up dating and managed to go back to friends, although it's a different kind of friendship at this point.
Decide if it's worth risking the friendship (and how much of a risk you think it is) and act accordingly.
2007-01-01 12:00:30 · answer #3 · answered by worm22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very difficult question to answer, and more difficult for you. What did you do to deserve all this? What did you do to bring this upon you? Nothing! He has made a choice that's not easy for you to hear, but you must listen to it or you will be forever suffering.
First, you need to realize that the number 1 person in your life is you. You need to take care of yourself, and do all you can to protect yourself from those who treat you with little respect.
Second, you need to walk away from this relationship and find someone more worthy of your love. This wishy washy man doesn't know what he wants. You can spend your life catering to his indecisiveness and go no where, or you can break away from him and have a better life.
Remember, you didn't bring this on. You know what you want, but you can't make others feel the same way. What you want is to find someone who feels the same way about you as you feel about them with no strings attached. You deserve better. Take action to protect yourself today, and never look back.
Take care!
2007-01-01 11:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by NeckLover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry you feel hurt but have you ever told him that you want him- try that and see where it goes also tell him how hurt you were when he told you the stuff about the ex girl- sounds like he wants A relationship too so maybe there is hope for the two of you
2007-01-01 11:54:16 · answer #5 · answered by acey227 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does that song go" looking for lovein all the wrong places" u sound like u have a good heart there is much better out there for u give it time, this guys sounds like a loser, u'll find someone who cares about making u happy, hang in there kiddo.
2007-01-01 11:54:03 · answer #6 · answered by aniMALuVA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think he wanted a relatinship in the first place. maybe he needed to have one last fight with his ex before he could move on. i had a similar situation and the same thing happened to me. I had a friend who wanted to date me but I couldn't be with someone until I had resolved my issues with my previous relationship. sure she was hurt but we are still friends. moral: don't expect more from a guy than EXACTLY what he says. I love you but we are friends is exactly that, nothing more.
2007-01-01 11:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by qsleonard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was hurt by his ex, so he was using you as a crutch, you can tell someone you love them and not be IN LOVE with them. he needed that emotional support and that "relationship type friendship" to help him get over the pain his ex caused. dont take it too personally babe. just move on, this guys got too much baggage.
2007-01-01 11:55:22 · answer #8 · answered by candi b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be there for him to kick in the teeth or you can stop being an idiot and find someone who has real character. Character meaning the person abides by a moral code.
2007-01-01 11:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by ☺ . CIEL . ☺ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. If he's a good guy, he'll realize that he's made a mistake. Ask him if he still loves her. But just remember to be true to yourself, make the best choice for You.
2007-01-01 11:55:36 · answer #10 · answered by Advice Giver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋