My grandfather is in very poor health and he isn't getting any better.
Today my parents are going out to see him and they said it was up to me whether or not I wanted to go "see" him (meaning sitting by his bedside and just sitting/standing there as he probably can't speak well, he's got some sort of sickness I'm unsure of what it is)
It could be one of the last times I see him. But I don't really want to because I want to remember him how he was before (not dieing or sick). Plus I spent three hours or so with him on Thursday or Friday.
What should I do? What would you do?
2007-01-01 11:46:57 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I've never really been close to any of my extended family. They know I love them its just- I've had to go through this with my mom's dad and it was a very depressing experience for me and everyone.
2007-01-01 12:04:29 · update #1
Go with yout heart. I'm sure people will understand. My father was on his death bed when I was a child. I ws given the option of seeing him when he could barely speak or see. I chose NOT to go into the room, and sent a message through in aunt to tell him I LOVED him very much. I've never regretted this, I remember in healthy and happy, that was good enough!
2007-01-02 06:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by peacfulwar 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go and see him one last time. People in the last stages of life may seem to be comatose but in fact they are very much aware that you are with them. The last sense that goes is hearing so you could give him a beautiful gift by going in and softly singing him a song or writing them reading a poem to him about some special times that you remember about him. You parents will also be grateful that you were able to do this kindness for their dad. Think about it a lot before you say no. It is but a few hours out of the rest of your life. Some day you will be very old and dying and think about it. Would you want your little granddaughter who you loved with all your heart not to even come in one last time to say a good bye to you. That would be heartbreaking to him and someday you will also be very sorry and feel guilty about not taking this last time to see someone that is a part of you family. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-01 20:03:32 · answer #2 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although it's probably not what you want to hear, you should really go visit your grandfather. Maybe he won't be able to respond, but im sure that on the inside it really makes him feel better. You will really feel better in the end.
Here's a story for ya. When i was very little, i had a great grandmother who i didn't really like because old people freaked me out. By the way, I was like 5 years old. Anyways, my whole family says that one day i told her i hated her. However, I have no memory of this. The way this story has to do with you is,well, i have always felt so completely terrible that i treated someone in my family this way. My great grandmother has passed on (awhile ago). Trust me, you will feel better.
I hope i helped.Peace to you
2007-01-01 23:16:55 · answer #3 · answered by Lady C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would go. It is a great blessing to be at our parents and grandparents deathbed. I was very sorry when I could not attend my grandmother's funeral. My brothers and sisters said she kept on repeating my name. I could not help it at that time because I was in another country. If you still can go but you refuse to go, you will be sorry later. Whatever happened at his death will not erase your memory of him during better days but will strenghten it instead. I am a grandfather and have been young. You do not realize how a grandfather or grandfather joy and longing to see his grandson or granddaughter, especially at the last moment of their life.
2007-01-01 19:58:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go. You will remember him before he was sick and his time sick will not cloud your good memories. The second reason to go is because it will mean a lot to your parents. One of them will be losing their parent soon and have you around and knowing you were there will help them get through this time.
2007-01-01 20:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by gigi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you spent 3 hrs with him a few days ago, then I feel you did not need to go with them today. Nor do you need to feel guilty about not going today. I also would want to remember him healthy and active. If he is mentally alert, I would want to tell him one more time that I love him and that you remember all the great times you had with him and you will never forget him and will always love him.
2007-01-01 19:59:19 · answer #6 · answered by minion 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must go and see him. sometimes these people seem distant but if you don't, you may regret it in later years ,
when my uncle died he lay there in a coma for some time then he woke turned to me and said goodbye and he was gone, it has affected my life knowing that just for that one moment it was me he turned and said goodbye to.i will always remember him and the others i have said goodbye to since, like my father and you never remember them from that time you always see them for the happy years they shared with you,its only the body that fades away the spirit lingers on with you forever until it is your turn and I'm sure you would like to see your offspring before you leave this life
2007-01-01 20:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by bazbikes49 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go see your grandfather. Seeing him in this state will not take awayt from the memories you have of him. He might not be able to 'talk' to you but him just knowing that you are there makes him know that you love him and took the time to see him before he goes.
This time with your gransfather is not about you it is about him knowing htat his family cares about him and will miss him when he is gone.
2007-01-02 12:17:36 · answer #8 · answered by bajan-black_ant 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GGGGOOOOO!!!!!! just because u dont want to see him doesnt mean he dosent want to see u like come on if that was u in bed sick dont u want to see ur grand children i know if that was me i want to see them one more time so go see him it might be the last time u get to see him alive and i think he wants to see u one more time i am my grandfather want tto see me one or time before he died he was happy to see me and my family he was happy to see everyone all the love one he loved so go see him make him happy one more time
2007-01-01 19:56:21 · answer #9 · answered by ecgoku420 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go see him. Death is not something to be afraid of, and it can't hurt you. What would help you the most, I think, is asking for some time alone with him. Go in with a photo taken during the time you want to rememebr him, and take the opportunity to thank him for the times that were special to you. Let him know how much he means to you. Then just hold his hand, and be with him for a few minutes. You will thank yourself for the courage for the rest of your life.
2007-01-01 19:51:51 · answer #10 · answered by Hauntedfox 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋