we've just started having a sexual rlshp after 3 months of dating, but in between we've been having problems with communication largely on his side as he would take forever to get back to me, if i mention that i'm not sure that he likes me or otherwise he gets upset, we promised to meet each other on the 31st, unfortunately my aunt fell ill and couldn't meet. never heard from him from the time i told him of the news. he didn't call to wish me a happy new year. he knows i like him quite a lot, is there a way of saving this rlshp
2007-01-01 10:46:22 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he's 32 and i'm 28. when we started dating i said to him that i'm not looking for some 'fun' and that i wanna settle down, he agreed and said that he knew that i ws vulnerable and that if there is one person he wouldn't want to hurt is me. we just started having a sexual rlshp now about 3 times, and that was it, now he's gone, i'm scared of calling or texting now coz i don't want him to feel as though i'm chasing or desperate, coz he keeps telling me that he knows i like him... pls help,
2007-01-01 11:00:36 · update #1
It's over. He's a jerk. Move on.
2007-01-01 10:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by Curtis B 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like he could be using you and is getting what he wants. It all sounds very one sided to me. I've been in a relationship like this myself where it ended up very hard work keep trying to show you care and love the person just for them to ignore you and not seem interested.
It may be that he has got what he wanted and is now gradually cooling things off with the intention of walking. I'm sorry for sounding so negative about it but this is from past experience. It could be geniune that he is just very busy and not always able to contact you straight away.
The fact that he gets all uptight when you tackle him about his lack of contact seems like a bit of guilt coming out in the form of anger. Maybe he's hiding something and you poking into why he seems distant annoys him somewhat.
Not even contacting you over the New Year is pretty rough. How long would that have taken? It doesn't sound like there's any care or compassion from him and all the running is done by you. It may be time to admit to yourself that the relationship is not going anywhere and to ask yourself if you need the hurt and upset.
Give me a call. I'll be up front with you and would never not contact you. I know how it feels to be ignored and let down.
I wish you luck in what you decide. Here if you need a chat anytime.....
M xx
2007-01-01 12:04:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's like most "regular guys" he's more into the sex at this point, and is probably wishing he could get more of it. He did "hang in there" for 3 months, though. :-) Guys are weird (I know, I'm one of 'em). Even though your aunt fell TRUTHFULLY ill, and there was nothing you could do about it, he saw this kind of like you "ditching" him. It was New Year's Even and he was REALLY looking forward to spending it with you. Were the ONLY one available to take care of your aunt? And although you knew it to be true, his thoughts were left to tell him all sorts of crazy things. Was it excuse for you to use to spend time with family instead? (his crazy thoughts saying this, or who knows what) Also, if you "really" wanted to be with him, you'd have made a way (again, his possible thoughts). So again, he's with a girl who "made" him wait 3 months to get intimate, she then "ditches" him on New Year's Eve, so screw it - he's going out to have some fun... and hopefully "get some". It's all he wanted for New Year's. He didn't feel like calling you and hearing the sob story about your Aunt. It would've further depressed the mood and his anger over not being able to spend the evening with you. Good luck and I otherwise hope it works out (seriously).
2007-01-01 10:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by gabound75 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes a player!!! like most guys, they will tell a girl what she wants to hear until they move on, find someone else etc. and this is advice coming from the nicest guy in the uk, me :) sorry if it sounds cold but I just wanted to get to the point, same has happened to my female pals! one guy was the big shinning knight in armour, the man! Mr. wonderful blah blah then its found out he had someone else on the go! these guys should get in the ring and have their butts kicked because they run like little rats when found out and they will leave people in the cold without a care in the world. Women do this as well!
2007-01-01 20:30:47 · answer #4 · answered by artist26uk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont confuse you trying to talk a lot as being good at communicating, it dont mean jack if youre doing it at a bad time
no offence but from outside, an ill aunt dont seem that important that you blank someone youre having relationship problems with.
Id take it to mean i was low priority
imho, its too damaged to continue
dont see that its hugely a problem either side, its just not working between 2 people.
also to be fair, 3 months is a long time to wait, like it or not you have to be sexually compatible to continue a relationship, maybe there are problems there, it seems liekly to me, sorry.
Move on
2007-01-01 15:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to read the best selling book called "He's just not that in too you..." . It will save you years of agony. Its written by a guy who knows! In the meantime, stop beating yourself up. Its not YOU, its HIM. I once agonized over a failed 3 month relationship for 7 years until I ran into him again and found out he was gay. Don't do that to yourself. Men enjoy sex because they don't have to communicate during it. Stop doing it backwards, find a guy who communicates well and then sleep with him.
2007-01-01 10:52:03 · answer #6 · answered by LoneStarLou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 3 months, he should have mastered the art of keeping in communication with you.
Your best bet is to ring him up and tell him how you feel. If he still blanks you, ask him if there is anything wrong and take it from there. It could be that he wanted to give you space with your aunt, or that he has other reasons that mightn't be so nice.
Good luck!
2007-01-01 10:52:20 · answer #7 · answered by Pye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply put. No.
He was in the relationship for the chase. And not to be chased.
The best you can do is learn from the relationship.
If there's one thing he's left you with: It's the gift of knowledge.
And this will serve you well in your next relationship.
I wish you all the very best - and a fresh start for 2007.
xx
2007-01-01 10:51:16 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he was thinking of your family problem and did not want to wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR in case something bad happened he may also be leaving you to see your aunt in her time of illness he will call again don't worry
2007-01-01 10:59:22 · answer #9 · answered by colin050659 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dont worry! here is a song to cheer you up
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That
I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French Fry!
I should have known it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those
jeans!
Go on now - go, ! Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
2007-01-01 10:52:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You push him away. First you both move on too fast without establishing a stable communication, it takes more than three months to get to know someone in the inside. Their true emotions.
2007-01-01 11:00:10 · answer #11 · answered by LIZA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋