My son is 20 months old and hits,scratches and kicks me and my hubby every day-multiple times.My worry is that I am 32 weeks pregnant and would like this to stop before his baby brother comes.What would you do to teach him not to do that?Saying No and taking toys away does not stop him.I know he is still young but he needs to learn this is not acceptable.Any ideas from moms who have been through this would be great!
2007-01-01 10:40:52 · 8 answers · asked by mama of 2 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Toddlers can be trying, can't they? Here are some ideas--I hope they help.
First, think "ABC"--antecedents, behaviors, consequences. The antecedents are what happens immediately before the undesired behavior. Is he frustrated about something? At 20 months, many babies can make a mental picture of what they want, but can't yet put together the words to communicate it. He could be trying to communicate in this inappropriate way. The behavior is what he does that you wish to change. The consequence is what happens immediately afterward. Do you change your behavior toward him, giving him more or less attention? Toddlers can't yet distinguish between positive attention and negative attention. Saying "No" may just sound funny to him. And he probably can't make the connection between his behavior and the toys going away.
Once you know the antecedents, work with your husband to come up with a consistent consequence. It's important that you both use the same words and tone of voice. "No hit," has worked for my 2-year-old. Then we immediately model nice touches. "Nice touches," and give a gentle pat or touch. Show this again and again with one another, stuffed animals, and so forth. If your baby continues to hit even after this, put the baby on the floor, or away from you, and look away for about 30 seconds. Baby doesn't like to be ignored and may protest! Say "Nice touch" again and model. The "Nice touch" will be good groundwork for when the baby comes. Start practicing now.
This is a learned skill and will take time to learn. I'm happy to say, though, that my 2-year-old is doing really well with it.
2007-01-01 10:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by snowberry 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son is 17months old and we just went through something similar. He would get frustrated and throw whatever was close to him at me. This is not acceptable and he got an instant time out. I put him in his playpen for 3 minutes, I don't agree with the one minute per year rule, cause a minute and a half doesn't seem long enough to me.
I used the playpen because I could then walk away and not reinforce his behaviour by giving him attention for being bad. Maybe when he's a little older I will give him a time out chair but for now I know I would fight him to sit still and have to be there constantly.
When I go get him I say "If you throw something at me again you're coming right back in here" and stick to it. Eventually they'll stop.
2007-01-01 14:35:47 · answer #2 · answered by Dramarama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son tried this once, and we stopped it quick.
Put a chair in a hallway, with no distractions. The next time it happens. Grab his hands, tell him "no, we do not hurt" and put him on the chair. Have him sit on the chair for 1 minute for each year of age (1-2 minutes for you). After times up, re-approach him, and say "we do not hurt. Are you sorry?". If he says yes, have him say he's sorry, and go on. But, if he says no, let him sit there. Re-approach after another minute.
My son was stubborn, and sat there for 5 minutes the first time.
But, he learned a valuable lesson, and it did not happen again.
2007-01-01 10:47:35 · answer #3 · answered by phamy76 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You need to show him that this behavior is unacceptable and give him age appropriate consequences for his actions. You can also try to look at what is setting him off and avoid this behavior before it occurs. Redirecting also works at this age. He does not understand and needs to be shown how to behave in situations. You can change his behavior with behavior modification. Good luck!
2007-01-01 10:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by judirose2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can discipline your baby,even if he is so small,but this won't happen so quickly!It takes time and energy,but don't give up!Praise him only when he listens and always tell him"no"when he makes a mistake.Show him that his acts make you feel pain,some children react well in such cases.Good luck!
2007-01-03 03:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by Maia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I do believe in spanking. So I think Spanking should do it. and be consistent with what you say and do. Dicipline at this age is crucial and don't let your child get away with it.
2007-01-01 11:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think phamy just gave you, your best answer. Just remember you must be consistant with him. It has to be a no no all the time not just when it bothers you.
2007-01-01 10:50:27 · answer #7 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this kinda sounds bad but i would give him a spanking it never hurts and it will also show him how you feel so maybe he will get the hint well good luck
2007-01-01 10:48:59 · answer #8 · answered by cutiepie1988692005 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋