At New years eve. My best friends husband tried to hold my hand and hugged me for no damn reason it was not in a friendly manner. I was shocked myself. She noiced him do that I have a feeling he likes me. And this makes me very uncomfortable. My friend is a very nice person and I value our friendship. she didn't bring it up this moring when we spoke but I have a feeling she is not happy with what happen. I don't wanna get involved in this nonsense. What should I do ?
2007-01-01 09:50:35 · 32 answers · asked by julia1975 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
simply address the grey area between you and the husband. Make it clear to him, that you do not like him. I'm guessing he was completely drunk, and you are fairly attractive. For some men, being drunk, is a free pass to hit on women even if you are married.
DON'T say " I like you, but your're married" that will just make everything worse.
DO say " I'm not into you, so don't try it again."
If things get worse.... ***** slap him across the face in front of his family. That should convey the message.
2007-01-01 09:57:10 · answer #1 · answered by aj c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do need to bring it up. Get some time alone with her and do the following.
1. Affirm the relationship - Let her know you are her best friend and don't want anyhting to change that.
2. Discuss what happened - Don't degrade him or her. Be sure to keep the whole thing as a misunderstanding and that you only told her to keep the air clean.
3. Discuss how it make you each feel - Try to be open to each other. You might need to be vulnerable at this point . . first.
4. Discuss a resolution. - Let her make this decision. go along with whatever it is, except being with him or testing him in any way. Drama only leads to truma. With any luck, you won't be doing anything. Remind her to follow this confrontaiton method with her hubby.
5. Discuss when the resolution will begin - most should happen now.
6. Reconfirm the relaitonship. - Friends forever.
Now kiss and hug and get off the subject. Do something fun together.
2007-01-01 10:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you value you're friend and think that the husband is a jerk I would tell her what happened. Explain that you felt very uncomfortable but you didn't want to over react to something that might not mean anything. Tell her that you value her as a friend and that if she would like to talk to you about anything you would be there for her. I would stay as far away from the husband as possible. Good luck with everything.
2007-01-01 09:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by cherteddie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get involved in the nonsense. Don't allow yourself to be alone with the husband, ever. Back away if he gets too close OR confront him without making a scene. Remain friends with your best friend. Seems to me like she's going to need her real friends at some point when she faces the truth about what a snake her man is, although it seems she already has an idea.
2007-01-01 10:05:25 · answer #4 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a little break from this friendship and spend some time with other friends. If she asks you why you are not coming around for awhile, be honest with her and tell her you do not want to put yourself in this situation again. Maybe you can arrange to just have a girls' night out and the hubby can stay at home, which might also solve the problem.
2007-01-01 09:55:22 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like DRAMA either but Don't do anything yet.
Wait until it happens again (if it ever happens again) and prepare yourself for the next encounter with him or them.
If you react too soon.... he can pretend like nothing happened and do the "What are you talking about?" thing.
Prepare for the next encounter. Know exactly what your going to say. Put him in his place!
[ What was he thinking? How dare he compromise your friendship with his wife? Tell him how much you value his wife's friendship and how he's put you in an awkward position? etc...... ]
You can mention the hand grabbing and say something like- I thought it was nothing but you realize now he was trying to come on to you and how it's so disappointing because you respected them as a couple. Stuff like that (even if you didn't respect them as a couple). Basically make him feel like ****, intelligently. She doesn't need to know, it will hurt her.
2007-01-01 10:04:34 · answer #6 · answered by B1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not your fault your hot if he was drunk then us men can do stuff like that sorry. but why don't u try having a talk with him first ask him why did he do it and say nothing could ever happen because u value your friendship with her and then talk to your friend and say about what happened just try and bring it into a conversation as a funny way if she seems angry look into her eyes and tell her that you wouldn't even think of doing such a thing with her husband and that she is a dear friend to you and your friendship is still strong. good luck
2007-01-01 10:00:16 · answer #7 · answered by JAMESMABOB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your friend and either you tell him to lay off and stop touching you or you tell her what has been happening. My Ex-Husband used to do that with my best friend when I was sitting there but as soon as I got up and left the room he stopped. Maybe he is trying to make his wife jealous, maybe he's not. at any rate this makes you uncomfortable and the problem should be addressed.
2007-01-01 10:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend brings it up then discuss it with her. If your friend's husband brings it up, tell him what you think of him. If no one else mentions it and he doesn't ever try anything like that again, blow it off as a stupid (probably drunk) thing to do. If he tries to make any more moves on you, just tell him he is being an ***.
2007-01-01 09:57:08 · answer #9 · answered by idahoturkey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you know that it's already an issue you are involved and you need to talk to her. I mean truthfully if it was you in this situation I know I would like to know what happened and how the feelings where all about. Just Be real
2007-01-01 09:55:51 · answer #10 · answered by memjabeana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋