help!!! its my boyfriend.?

Question

its new years eve. we have to stay in this year. told him we would make the most of it - good food, a few drinks, have a laugh etc etc.... planned it for a while, bought nice food etc etc...

he's taken the mickey out of me for it....

when it came to new years eve, even though we live together i didnt really see him all day - and he didnt really talk to me either- even went food shopping- something which he hasnt done in months....

after i put my daughter to bed i expected a bit of us time.

how wrong was i!!!! i have felt like things havent been right for a while and tried to tell him how i felt. he listened to what i had to say then went off to watch a dvd without me. came back down ( we didnt have food or drink) at around 11.30 then went back out of the room again to go on the pc.

i didnt really feel it was my place to say "come on, its new year in 5 mins" its not like he didnt know what day it was.

big ben chimed away, he came in after the effect. i said .......

i said happy new year. he said it too. no enthusaism, no kiss no hug.

i think this is the beginning of the end.

i have been with him since may 05. moved my life to be with him.

i asked him why didnt he kiss me - he just looked at me.

asked him if he wanted to be with me he said i wouldnt be here if i didnt.

doesnt make me feel any better. its like hes doing me a favour.

any advice would be appreciated.

serious answers only.

thanks

i have tried on several occasions to talk to him.

even on new years eve but as i say he listened but then didnt actually spend any time with me.

i just feel at the end of my tether as he doesnt actually have a conversation with me.

he just repeats my question.

for instance.

"do you want to be with me"

he says....

"what do you mean, do i want to be with you"

its like living with a bloody parrot. i just feel like hes shutting me out. he says hes not.

whats a girl to do ...?

Answer 1

first thing to mention that hes not too happy staying at home on news years eve but that is not your fault you have a daughter to think of. great idea that you aranged food and drink and qualilty time with him but you went wrong because when he did come down to spend it with you, you decided to have a talk about the problems about your relationship.its important and is a great idea to talk but not when you are trying to celebrate new's years eve. bad timing!! you have got a lot of problems but i am sure if you both love each other you will sort things out. my advice, try and have some quality time with him a romantic dinner and learn again what you both love each other. i know its differcult when you have a child but you don't have to go out to have a romantic dinner. dress up and look you best for him at the romantic dinner. you will be surprise how well the evening will go. make a rule that moaning and bickering is not allowed and only nice positive things to be talked about. like you do on a date!!remember the nice romantic music and candle. good luck!!

Answer 2

Hya sexyjp,sounds a lot like you are too familiar with each other now-and the spark is either very low or it has gone out altogether. Shame i know, but it happens sometimes and cannot be avoided in some relationships. Best thing to do would be to suggest to him that you go couples/partner counselling together. Tell him you are worried that something is wrong with the way things are going between you, and that you both need to talk about putting it right-you may trigger something he wants to talk about-(i think he wants to talk about something to you, but may not know how to broach the subject)-sorry jp, its the only advice i can come up with just now, i hope your new year improves though, for all in your family:-)

Answer 3

it seems like his feelings are changing, is it his daughter too??what was he doing on the pc???? your story got cut off but all i can say is it seems like he is avoiding the problem, sorry to tell you. You need a discussion where you both sit down and have a serious talk about everything, obviously something is bothering him and he is just avoiding the issues. I had a new years all by myself for the first time ever and deep inside it was not fun since my ex just used me and now is probably using someone else, so dont feel like you're alone, i'd be happy to spend new years with anyone that is willing to plan and spend it with me. I hope this helps

Answer 4

well first of all how long have you been with this guy? Are you in love with him? If your not then I would consider why you are still with him. You need to really take some time to think about were you want this relationship to go and then talk to your boyfriend about it and if he feels the same way come up with a solution to help the problem, but beware he will probably have somethings he feels you need to work on to just listen with an open mind and try not to take it personally if you both feel you have to many differences or don't want to go in the same direction it is time to end the relationship and move on.

Answer 5

i have a feeling that there is something terribly wrong within your relationship hun, and i feel that your partner is trying to avoid the situation at all costs. At this present time you are feeling totally unloved and unwanted and your partner has got to know this, your heart is absolutely breaking and i really feel your pain, take a long look at what you want, decide if this relationship without emotion is what you need for the rest of your life and make the biggest decision of your life. You are on the crest of a wave and once you have made your decision, you life will become clearer and better. good luck hun, thinking of you

Answer 6

perhaps you need some time away from each other. maybe a spell apart will make him realise how much you mean to him. or he could realise he doesnt want to be with you.... its a risk you may have to take. if there is an atmosphere in the house your daughter will pick up on it eventually if she hasnt already. so its not exactly a healthy atmosphere for her to be in.
if a break isnt suitable right now try talking to him again. tell him repeating your answers isnt what you want him to do. ask him how he feels. good luck

Answer 7

If he doesn't have the decency to at least hug you at New Year's, then he shouldn't be with you. Him saying "happy new year" in a low tone is as though he feels that your relationship is empty and meaningless.
Evidently, you should sit him down, have a serious talk about where this is going, and plan what you will do accordingly.

Answer 8

it must be a really upsetting situaton youre in. It sounds like he has someting going on in his life that he has been unable to tell you. It maybe something like work or finances Try asking him to spare you some time one evening so you can talk. Tell him that you know there is something playing on his mind and that it needs to be discussed. If he wont talk to you then you need to make the decision whether to carry on living in uncertainty or move on. Either way you deserve happiness.

Answer 9

He obviously doesnt care about you. You know this. Unless he was just having a bad day. Only YOU know what your relationship is really like. If its not good, then dont stay with him. Life is too short! You deserve better. But you only get what you think you deserve. I hope you can find a better future.

Answer 10

Maybe it's time to put yourself and your daughter first and tell him that you have had enough of his ignorant ways and it's now 'time to go your separate ways'. This happened to me after my last child was born, so I know what you are going through. My advice is 'get rid' and find someone new. there will be someone waiting for you and your little girl out there somewhere !