I know that she won't hate me, more than half of her friends are lesbians. However, I want to do it gently. We've been going out for three weeks and I just got back from winter break so calling it off now would be sudden enough. But on top of that, she'd be told that I'm gay? Once again she won't really mind that I'm gay but those two things coupled together, I just don't want her to get hurt. Any advice on how I could break it to her nicely and not come off like a heartless bafoon?
2007-01-01 08:58:47 · 21 answers · asked by zomgfletch 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is no way to do this kind of thing "gently". Big deals like this are going to hurt, no matter how it comes out. However, some things lessen the pain. Not sure if you write well, but you could write her a letter explaining it, and sit beside her while she reads. That way she can get a grasp on things in her head before she actually hears your voice telling her. It also helps you formulate the things you actually want to come out. Just find a time when you're alone together, and let her know you have something important for her to know, then yall can discuss the letter.
Well, however it happens, good luck.
2007-01-01 09:04:10 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not your age, Im actually almost twice you age lol Im 19 about to turn 20 in less than a month. But anyway there is nothing wrong with being gay. You dont have to tell anybody yet unless you want to. Wait until you are ready and feel comfortable about telling everyone that you are gay. Or maybe you want to start off by telling only a few people about this if it makes it easier for you. About your friend being Christian, unless he is hardcore about religion there shouldnt be a problem. Maybe you can one day casually ask him about his thoughts on gay people. Your dad is a different story though. Just because he makes fun of gay people doesnt really mean he doesnt like them but you might want to have a talk with your mom alone before you decide to comfront him about it. Oh and the girl you like as a best friend, dont worry about her disowning you, girls tend to be a bit more understanding about this sort of thing. One last thing, when you do decide to tell everyone it might take them a little time for themto get used to this new information but everything should be ok.
2016-05-23 03:54:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do, don't waste time in doing it. the importance of a relationship is always measured (at least in part) by how long it's been going on... breaking up after 3 weeks is a lot simpler than breaking up after a month.
don't b.s. her, sit her down and tell her the truth, and say things like "i respect you a lot, so i don't want to come up with some bull crap story, you deserve better than that." make sure you do NOT do this in a public place, if she wants to get mad or yell, she should be able to do that without causing a scene. apologize to her, NOT for being gay, but for dating her under false pretenses. be calm & kind, but not condescending, and be prepared for a bit of anger. good luck!!
2007-01-01 09:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by koi_pond_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you start going out with her if you're gay? I'd understand it if you'd been together for a couple of years and you can't pretend anymore, but surely you haven't just decided in the last three weeks that you're gay?
2007-01-01 09:04:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her your Gay. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. How much more of her time do you want to waste? Let her get on with her life as soon as possible and meet someone who truly appreciates her, else you do both of you an injustice Truth is always best!
2007-01-01 09:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok maybe its just me but if i were her i don't think i would want to know ur ditching me cuz ur gay.. why not just tell her u feel like you don't belong in a relationship with her that you need to explore other things in your heart and that you value her as a person and value her friendship and leave it like that.. if she wants more of an explanation then tell her but if i a guy told me that i would pretty much be able to put it together yet not feel like i made him gay or that i was being used
2007-01-01 09:40:24 · answer #6 · answered by crystal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok number 1 thing is DO NOT DO IT OVA THE PHONE OR EMAIL. Meet up with her and tell her how u feel look straight into her eyes and say your words with meanings, tell her you will always love her as a friend and tell her you cant control your orientation so its not your fult, tell her that there is definatly another guy there for her, her true love. She will definatly understand you. : ) GOOD LUCK
Roxxy
2007-01-01 09:07:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to come over so that she walks in on you and another guy going at it.
this will kill 2 birds with one stone. it will a.) let her know that you do not want to be with her anymore, and b.) let her know that you are gay.
or you could always just friggin tell her. get her boozed up and let her know. 3 weeks isn't long enough to make a big deal out of it.
2007-01-01 09:03:02 · answer #8 · answered by cornercuttin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The very 1st thing to say to her is....."I am gay", I like men. You wont have to break up with her.....she will be broke up with you before you finish that sentence. You need only be truthful to her and to yourself. What is her phone number?
2007-01-01 09:06:02 · answer #9 · answered by BudLt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you aren't just bi? Otherwise, what were you doing with her?
Telling her, being with you just made me realize I'd rather be with a guy sounds like the ultimate put down.
2007-01-01 09:02:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋