After my 90 secs. he "lost signal" He was at a party w/dad 15 miles from my house. (dad lives 45 miles from my town) he didn't call or invite me. I wouldn't have gone. I forbid my kids from seeing those people. Mom's a drunk, son's on drugs & daughter's town 'ho. Dad never says "no" I called this morning & as usual he picked a fight, I hung up. My friends, therapist & several family members said to give up on him. I will always love my son. But what else can I do?
2007-01-01 08:54:55 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He turned 16 yesterday 12/31
2007-01-01 12:32:06 · update #1
Yes, love your son. Never give up on him, but let him go. Eventually he'll hit rock bottom and he'll need someone strong to lean upon. Now if he gets into trouble, let him learn his lesson. This is the time for "tough love". He's gonna have to lay in the bed he's made for himself. Don't forget about that. But you can still love him. So wait patiently, and continue to love him. You sound like an awesome mom to me. I wish you the best of luck to you.
2007-01-01 09:26:01 · answer #1 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never give up. He is a person trying to find his way he will mess up and the fact his Dad condones things you don't confuses things for him, perhaps Dad is making it seem like Mom is crazy or over protective or even over emotional. It sounds like son is teen or in early twenties, and if so the only choice you have is to try and Mother him without Mothering him. Instead of pointing out the negatives of his choice of ppl he was with and why it is wrong, ask him how did it go did he have fun, etc. (this advice is more if he's over 18 right now) He isn't hearing concern from you in your warnings about the ppl or what he shouldn't do, he hears critism and negativeness.
If he's a teen, you do have a problem, you should never give up on a teen since they can run amok in their lives and sounds like Dad is no help, if a teen has a parent who agrees with their side it empowers them and makes them feel righteous and like the other parent's concerns are unfounded, or imagined. It sounds like it is time to get Dad into a counsiling situation, if teens behavior is damaging or dangerous their should be boundries put down.
Since I don't know his age I don't know what else to say, I can answer better if I know his age.
2007-01-01 09:08:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never, I mean never give up on your son. I don't know what went on prior to this post, but I do sense your frustration. Is he a teen? Dad may be a total idiot and your son will see that eventually and thank God that he has enough respect for you that he did not invite you to the party. He knows where you stand on this issue and probably is not calling out of guilt for his current lifestyle. My 15 yr. old son and I are going through a similar situation and there have been times he has hurt me so badly that I would cry for hours after speaking with him. I haven't given up on him and the more I let him talk and vent about things the more of a bond we share. Just a couple of weeks ago he called me for advise and told me he just can't talk to his Dad about stuff. I know that wasn't much, but it was a milestone compared to the conversations we have had in the past. Hang in there....keep doing what you are doing, but don't give up on him. Good Luck!
2007-01-01 09:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by stacey h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you want to give up on him. Try bonding with him. Make plans with him, just the two of you. Talk to him. Maybe he's hurt about something. Let him know you're worried and love him.
2007-01-01 09:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? is he an adult? if he is, you should just be his mother. The time for raising is over. If you did the best you could to raise him right then he should be OK. He has to live his own life now, make his own decisions, and live with the consequences of bad ones. Love him and let him live his life.
2007-01-01 09:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by gunsmoke_70 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know they are family, but you have to let it go. i am sorry but if you want to have a good life it does not appear to me that you need to have much to do with them. if you just can't let it go. send letters or cards. if they respond fine if they don't then you can honestly say that you have tried.
2007-01-01 09:20:35 · answer #6 · answered by angel1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋