How to confront someone who has lied to you?

Question

This guy and I have been seeing each other for over 2 years, on again and off again, and I recently moved out of state, but he told me he is not going to have sex with anyone else, see anyone else and that I am the one that he wants. Well today I made some internet findings - a girl from where he is from (Minnesota) came down and stayed with him (in Florida) for 3-4 days in November, a month after I moved. I have found things online where he called her the "love of his life" in September (2006) which is when him and I were together and I was still in the state. I have been gut wrenching sick over this. I'm in town right now for the holidays, but I don't know how to confront him or if I should just cut all ties right now and not give him the satisfaction of anything. I contacted the girl, being very polite and inquiring how they know each other (she has 2 pictures of the 2 of them together on her MySpace page), but yet to receive a response. How should I deal with him or just not at all

Answer 1

One option (what I would do) is to tell him that you see no reason to continue your relationship, and then cut ties with him. If he pushes you for a reason, you might say to him, "I"m aware that you have been lying to me, and I refuse to subject myself to that any more." And leave it at that. Big, dramatic scenes take too much effort and aren't very satisfying in the end, plus you make yourself small for doing that. Just say goodbye, then let it all go (yes, I know easier said than done, but you have to start somewhere, and with a goal).

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

You should confront him. It's better to be honest and upfront from your standpoint. You deserve the right to know the truth, the details and reason. After doing so, you decide if he's worth your time, effort, trust and energy. Remember, once a cheater, always a cheater. From what I hear, see and know all these years, I've never seen a cheater change their ways. Taking him back will only allow him to get away with it and feel he has a good hold on you. If you want to forgive and forget, then you must be careful and don't let your guard down too soon. He must earn your trust again.

Answer 3

She may have tipped him off by now that you contacted her about this. Hopefully, that put a damper on their relationship too because that is what he deserves. I would copy the pics and stuff I discovered and send it to him with a note that he is a lying S.O.B. and then just end note with GOODBYE. Sever all ties from this point on. You will have let him know how you feel and that you have "proof" of his crap he has pulled on you(and opthers obviously) and you will have had the last word. If you remain in contact, he will try to cover his A** with more lies. Why waste your time. Post this info on a website called Dontdatehimgirls.com. You may post his name and pic, but you can remain anonymous. Let all the world see what kind of jerk he really is.

Answer 4

Definatly deal with it! Don't just "let it go"! Whether you confront him or cut ties is up to you but don't let it go! I'd probably start with saying..."so I seen that *** has pics of you two up on her website...when were those taken, I feel like there's something more going on there than I can plainly see" I think if you say that then the rest should flow...whether it be a full blown out argument or a blaming you for spying on him....you can start with that and then come with the facts when or if he starts denying them. If he doesn't deny them then you use your heart to decide~ I wish you all the luck in the world with that!~

Answer 5

first of all- stop snooping. you already found what you need to find; stop wasting time on him. he does not deserve your attention or your concern. if he dated you for 2 years, then he should love and respect you enough to be honest with you. i would have a simple conversation with him- let him know that you found out that he is dating someone else, wish him well, and leave.... no tears, just goodbye. then move on and feel good that you are headed in a positive direction with your life and not looking back. Have a great 2007!

Answer 6

shake him completely now and definitely bust him out with the evidence, hard like pictures, geez what an idiot he is. if he is able to play like this chances r u r not going 2 inflict much pain or loss on his end though. definitely no future with him, unless u 2 r a plyer. it sux when this type stuff go down. but it does all the time, amazes me everytime i hear a story like urs and mine, i have had a couple of these myself. i know how "sickening" it is, but there is no doubt that this happening. so tough it out girlfriend.

Answer 7

just don't call him any more because he is going to say that she is just his friend. and he will denied everything so just tell him to go fu.. his mother and that you don't want to be with him anymore. Anyways you can find anyone else.. By the way a relationship like the one you guys had never works out because one of them always ends up messing up in this case it was him.

Answer 8

Well I definitely think that she has beat you to the punch and has told him that you have contacted her. So, I think you should definitely end things with him and tell him it's because you don't trust him and have proof he's been cheating on you. I would suggest doing it in person, but if he is a manipulative person, he could have you believing his lies, so you could very well end it through a letter, e-mail or phone conversation.

Answer 9

You need to sit him down and make him squirm. Just come right out and ask, "Who's so and so?". Catch him off guard, and he'll totally falter. Then dump him. Make sure he just spent some money on you though, dinner...something. You really want to get him. If you don't completely bust him out, he'll do it again to the next girl.

Answer 10

Lie Back-Voodoo