My fiancee and I are planning a courthouse wedding and going out to dinner with our families afterwards. However, this plan is contingent on my dad, who agreed to pay for our honeymoon. If he backs out because we're not having a traditional wedding, we won't be able to afford to pay for dinner and a honeymoon.
So, I'm thinking that we could go to city hall with our 2 witnesses, take them out to dinner, and use the rest of our money for a honeymoon to Orlando, FL. But, what would we say to our families who were left out? I know that they're looking forward to a big wedding, but we don't want a lavish affair, nor can we afford one.
2007-01-01 08:00:35 · 13 answers · asked by Galoshes 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
There are no magic words for breaking the news to your parents that they are not invited to your wedding. Just tell them what you want. Remember these are just the first few steps of what will be a long journey. You and your fiance get to envision what works for both of you and then follow thru with the plan - don't let other people's wishes, wallets, etc distract you too much. Try to stick to your guns because you can end up spending a lot of time spinning your wheels.
I just got married down in Florida 2 weeks ago after much debate about how NOT to have my parents there. We went to the courthouse and paid the $90 license fee, then paid $250 for a wedding coordinator to marry us on the beach, file the paperwork, and take lots of pictures of us and our witnesses (who were our dear friends). It was wonderful, and I made my parents a picture frame with shells we collected from the beach. Check out my Question on yahoo. Sure, my parents were disappointed but I did the best I could to make them feel included by calling them a couple times from Florida. I loved every minute of my wedding day and I woke up the next day already on my honeymoon. Keep it simple.
2007-01-01 10:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a big wedding isnt something either of you want, they you shouldnt feel obligated to do it. It took me twenty three years of living with my fiancee before we finally got married, mostly because neither of us could agree on a small ceremony or a big one. We finally settled for a mid size one one the condition that it did not go over a budget that we decided on. The important thing here is what you want and what you can afford. I just don't understand why you would cut out family in either case. If you cannot afford both the honeymoon and the dinner then tell your family we would like you to come but you will have to pay for your own dinner. Then its thier choice to attend or not. That will not leave anyone out and your Dad's decision will not be an issue. Many times my family has events at a buffet restaurant and most of them pay for themselves. Gifts can not be expected however if someone has to pay for dinner, so you will lose out on that but it seems to me its better to have family at your wedding.
2007-01-01 14:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by CelticFairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go to a travel agent and book the trip. Find one that will accept gift certificates. Than tell your family that you are having a small wedding becuase you can't afford a large one and tell them you are registered with the travel agent if they would like to donate to your honeymoon. Many people will. Even just 10 people donating $50.00 will net you $500.00 big ones towards your trip. Money from your Dad can go to spending money (which you will need). Also take your families to dinner at a place that has a per person rate so you know in advance how much it will be. Ask them to pay for their own drinks if they want them.
2007-01-01 12:02:25 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the recipient of a Beta from a wedding reception I don't like the idea. I liked my fish but most didn't and the bride and groom had to deal with the left fish. More than half were left on the tables. Not everyone wants a living creature to take home. We got some mini bottles of Liquors in the States and added some chocolates along with a couple of Liquor glasses in a heart shaped box. The cello boxes looked very pretty on the tables and a taped "winner" on the bottom of one plate at each table was a hit. The winner obviously took home the centerpiece. So many good ideas other than fish. We had a wonderful wedding for just over $5,000
2016-05-23 03:40:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First - you need to ask your dad! You may find that he is perfectly fine with a small dinner and courthouse wedding - so ask him FIRST and if he says no way, then think about alternatives.
Perhaps, if the big wedding is important to him and you can't afford it - he might rather put on a reception for you and then you pay for your honeymoon instead.
2007-01-01 09:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honeymoon or dinner...hmm, big family?
You are getting married in the court house so no one (aunts, cousins, etc) should expect a big family affair. Just take your immediate families (Parents, siblings, maybe grandparents) out. If thats still too many people, just make your honeymoon your wedding and go to Vegas and get married there or just get married and hit the airport.
2007-01-01 08:46:12 · answer #6 · answered by superchrisw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your families are looking forward to a big wedding, then they need to put up the money for one. You need to be frank and honest here with both families, and state that your finances will not allow you to have a big wedding, and that you refuse to go into debt for a wedding (which is a very smart move). Sit down with both sets of parents, either separately or together depends on how they will approach this subject. Have a frank, honest discussion about money and the budget. Not very romantic, but oh, so necessary.
2007-01-01 08:11:41 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that no matter how large the wedding there will be always be people left out. People will come and remind you of people in youll be like oh yea but its too late. So really i think you should go with what you and your fiancee want after all it is your wedding right? you cannot do everything that you parents dream for you. Tell your family your situation and let them know there not forgotten you just want a small simple wedding.
2007-01-01 08:19:20 · answer #8 · answered by babybg_one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't afford a lavish affair, and they can't afford to pay for you to have one, then no one should be upset if you forgo inviting them to dinner. Perhaps extend an invitation to them on the contigency that they pay for their own meal.
Truly, talk to your dad and find out a definate answer so you don't spring this on anyone last minute.
(I've heard of lots of brides and grooms doing fun, great "pot luck" receptions to include all their family and friends, just as an idea.)
2007-01-01 11:28:26 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you should do, My sister, wanted a cheap wedding too, soo heres what she did, She talked to a small time minister, in a smalll church, ok, she did not wear a wedding dress, just a nice but elegant dress, she invited his parents and my parents to attend the wedding, and my granparents were at the resturant along with me, and We had maybe 8 people for a sit down nice dinner at a nice but elegant resturant, And then she had more money to save up for her honey moon
2007-01-01 08:13:36 · answer #10 · answered by trudycaulfield 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋