what must I think and not think?
thanks
happy new year!
2007-01-01 07:26:00 · 18 answers · asked by carol s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, put yourself in the opposite position: If YOU didn’t want to be with someone, and let him or her know it, what would you expect the other person to do? Hopefully let go, and move on with dignity.
The biggest “cure all” every time you miss them, or are thinking about them with sadness, is to VIVIDLY remember the times they treated you like DIRT, and ask yourself: “Is THAT what I REALLY WANT?” When the answer is NO – then keep that in your mind. It will replace the old pattern of putting them on a pedestal when they treated you far less than the way you deserved. It will also help you to replace the pain with the truth of the situation.
Every time thoughts about them suddenly come into your mind, do the above, AND re-direct your focus on to something that is positive and life enhancing for YOU, or others that you love. You have the power to consciously re-direct your thoughts and FOCUS. Do that every time the blues start to creep in to your consciousness.
Really TRUST that everything DOES work out for the best in the long run, and if you can remember a time when you were sad about something, only to be grateful for the growth you’ve made, and how the situation worked out for your highest and best after all, this will help you realize that this situation is no different.
View the other person with compassion, rather than with bitterness. Realize that they did the best they were capable of, and if their best was not in your best interest, then it is a gift that they are out of your life!
Get deeply and passionately absorbed in your life purpose! THIS is the most powerful thing you can do! Why waste your energy, focus, and attention on a PAST situation, when you can really be making significant and positive difference in your life, as well as in the lives of others!
Every time you start to think about them, and begin to play your drama of the past in your mind, consciously CHOOSE to focus on the NOW, and all of the great things you can be doing. Focus on being and expressing your highest and best self. Remember that you don’t NEED them at all. YOU are the gift. They may be a gift as well, however, if they are out of your life, your life MUST carry on in the most vibrant, positive and life-renewing manner possible. This is ALL within your conscious choice and control.
Really thank them (in your mind) for every lesson you have learned, every new discovery you have made, and the difference they DID make in your life. Realize that THAT was their purpose for entering your life. So now you can release them with a lot of gratitude, loving compassion, dignity, and grace.
Someone that I personally know that is going through the throws of emotional agony in trying to let go of a relationship that just ended said: "We need to know WHY We SHOULD Let THEM GO TO BEGIN WITH!”
The Answer is so that YOU can be FREE FROM PAIN, and misery! So that you can attract someone into your life that will treat you incredibly well, and because you DESERVE to be happy in a real relationship!
Why should you hold out for crumbs from someone similar to a dog waiting on the doormat for a couple of crumbs of attention? Don’t you really deserve to have a fantastic relationship? YES! You do! Everyone does. If you are in pain the majority of the time, then you deserve to free yourself, so that you can live with inner peace, and grow with enough self-love to attract your true counterpart.
You can only attract according to what you believe you deserve, and I swear to you that you WILL attract someone that is far healthier for you once you really learn how to love and appreciate yourself.
Don’t you want to be treated in the best manner possible? So if you are in pain most of the time, that pain is saying: “Hey, get me out of this, because IT HURTS!” And the only way to remove yourself from the source of emotional agony in your life is to make a COMPLETE break.
It’s like keeping your hand halfway in boiling water! If you take your hand out completely, and heal it, then you will be free from pain.
If you choose to keep dipping your fingers into boiling water, this is the same as continuing to return to a painful relationship. One is physical pain, and the other is emotional.
There is no judgment at all. So please do NOT judge yourself for allowing yourself to be treated far less than you deserve. The only thing that matters is what you do from THIS moment forward. Love yourself – a LOT!
The only one you will EVER need is YOU. The only one that will NEVER leave you is YOU. So place ALL of your energy on being and expressing all you came into this life for. It is NOT about them – it is all about you and your growth. That is the most important thing. Now you have learned more, and realized more. You have evolved more as a result of all you have been through. As you come to fully awaken to all of your grand possibilities, you really won’t have the time, or the care to focus your attention on a past situation. It is like focusing on anything else that is in the past. NOW is your time to re-claim yourself, and shine as the beacon that you are. You will feel so much better once you take all of the above steps – as long as you really apply them.
Hope dis will help u............
Happy new year 2u Carol
2007-01-01 07:31:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey How are you. I am Kelsey. My ex-boyfriend just broke up with me about two and a half months ago. I know it is not easy. I will tell you something personal. I cried for twenty days straight. I would say Octomber was the worse month of my entire life. I still think about him of course he was basically my first everything. I know you do not wanna think about him probably but it is going to.It is only natural. By talking to your family,writing in your journal,hanging out with freinds,getting involved with clubs or exercising, it helps to ease the pain. For me it was mostly my family that helped me through it. They were always there when i needed to say anything and everything. They helped me look at the positives. After he wasn't in my life anymore it was like a relief. Then i realized he kinda poisoned me and previous to it I was having doubts anyhow. Of course you are still gonna think of the bad things that maybe happened but also remember the wonderful times you had together. What was meant to happened did and I am sure there is a wonderful man out there just waiting for you. Happy New Year!!! Have a wonderful day :)
2007-01-01 15:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kelsey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel and I talked to my best friend and she gave me good advice that actually seems to be true;
Get answers to your questions - having things go unsaid can drive you mad depending on the situation
first week -hell
first month/ two months you will drive yourself crazy with everything including "what ifs"
after 2 months it gets easier
six months you will be over it but will on occasion be reminded and have your moment with that feeling of regret - when ever we are close to someone we will always remember
It seems like it will never end but it will!
Stay active tho, enjoy being single! Flirt as much as you can! Get a new guy!
2007-01-01 15:35:22 · answer #3 · answered by STL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep yourself busy- working, hanging out with friends, or talking to a new guy. If you do get a new guy- don't rush into it. You'll eventually forget about the other guy's existence.
2007-01-01 15:33:01 · answer #4 · answered by NIcole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its will be really hard in the first two weeks
but after that u will find urself forget him easily
engage urself with anything try to get ur mind away from thinking about him
find other guys and talk to them and u may fall in love with one of them then it will be easy to forget about that guy
2007-01-01 15:33:05 · answer #5 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
best way to forget about a boy is to find another one =)
but if none are available spend time with friends. If you are alone your thoughts will only drift back to him
2007-01-01 15:27:30 · answer #6 · answered by lynneboo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i go with the first guy but this happended to me before i just foregot bout him it was in 2nd grade last year 2005 now im in thid how to get rid of the guy in your head is just erase him in your head say ''i dont like (name) i foregot about him'' and find another guy
2007-01-01 15:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as what i experience letting someone is not easy way.At first I try to fucos my self to someone example my crush before or ex before so that it can hepl you to focus you self to someone else,if ever doesn't work just think of all the bad thing he/she done to you take note not you sweet memories before.Lastly think of it that he/she is not meant for you.just set him/her free.time you would you will just smile.If you really love him/her set him/her free and let him/her find her/his own hapiness.And for you just wait someone is coming and i assure you it is much better than him.!!!goodluck!
2007-01-01 15:38:53 · answer #8 · answered by skyluv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to forget.
The end of a relationship is sad, mourn it for however long it takes.
2007-01-01 15:30:40 · answer #9 · answered by iblockidiots 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you think of him, think of all the BAD times you had together. chances are you'll get disgusted by him and not think about him anymore.
2007-01-01 15:28:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a new man you'll forget faster like that
2007-01-01 15:27:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋