So, I'm 22, male, college student....I've been talking and hanging with this girl the past two weeks and we've been texting each other, flirting, talking for hours---so we went on a first date last night at the beach. Went to a club, got some drinks, walked around some boating area dock, then went to the beach, sat by a few abandoned bonfires, trying to keep them "alive" by throwing sticks, cardboard in there. We were joking talking, flirting, good conversation. It was fun. But then we got to the intimate part. We were laying down and we started kissing (midnight). She loved it and we cuddled afterwards and went in her car and cuddled some more. But me...everything was great until the kissing...I even liked the cuddling. I just didn't feel any chemistry, but I enjoyed everything else. In my mind, I tended to list all the things wrong...didn't feel right, didn't get into it, etc.
So this is the first girl I've been on a date with that I was very aware could lead to actual dating, etc,
2007-01-01 07:22:07 · 18 answers · asked by Timothy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
since my last one-year, serious relationship ended (last summer). Since then I've been on first dates, but it turned out to be more just hanging out. No kisses, just maybe a hug. Besides that it was just people having conversation over dinner. This girl last night if the first one since my ex that I actually made out with (I kissed one other girl on a date months ago, but it didn't go past the first date). This was the first girl I knew I could pursue and it would lead somewhere. So my question is, is it normal to feel awkward and not feel anything the first time you really kiss someone else after your ex? I mean first time me and my ex kissed, I actually didn't like it too much. It was...awkward, I didn't feel too much, it was messy, etc. But how that turned out is we ended up kissing, making out all the time and loved it. So do I just need to give this girl a chance, since I do enjoy talking to and hanging out and everything else on the date was good? I wanna hear all fo your stories
2007-01-01 07:22:45 · update #1
the first time you date someone since a serious relationship. Normal to not like the kissing at first because you're so used to someone else? Or do you think it means I'm not ready to date? I was so excited about this date and then got depressed afterwards because I feel like now this proves I'm not ready to date which sucks because I do like her. I'm just soo confused!
2007-01-01 07:24:11 · update #2
You're so cute... ok, here's what appears to be going on. You guys have a good foundation going on in all the important areas that could lead to a good relationship. This doesn't come along every day so be careful how you treat the situation.
Was she just not a good kisser? Or maybe, God forbid... YOU weren't on top of your game! Maybe you just need to experiement with that a little more, take nice and slow. But don't obsess about it. Great long term relationships are not built on a physical foundation. They are built on all the things you two seem to have going for you aside from that.
Your nerves could have been throwing you off too as you realized this could lead to more than friendship. She may have been nervous too... kissing someone new for the first time can be awkward, but shouldn't be a deal breaker.
Remember, you can always learn some new skills from a great kisser! Be a student and a teacher...
2007-01-01 07:39:06 · answer #1 · answered by greeneyedann 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give it time. She is new and you will have to get used to her. Maybe you are not one of the guys that is motivated to date by your crotch!! If you had a good time with her, don't assume it won't be different the next time you are together. I dated a guy for a long time and we had great chemistry until we kissed. EVERYTHING else was great... and no matter how often I tried to make it work.. it didn't so ... I just stopped kissing him. All of the other intimacy was there... cuddling, hugs, regular kisses.... we just couldn't "make out"... it worked for a very long time...
2007-01-01 07:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been seeing 2 girls after a serious several year relationship. One I just hook up with and feel nothing for. The other, we could kiss for hours, last time was 4 hours just kissing. I feel alot for her. So, IMO it just depends on the girl. Even before kissing, you should feel some chemistry if you really like her. If not, then she is on the friends with benefits list.
2007-01-01 07:28:32 · answer #3 · answered by tarzan428 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just take it casually and see how it goes? It sounds like you like this girl for lots of different reasons, not just kissing. You said it took some time for you to enjoy kissing with your old girlfriend; maybe this is just the way you operate. You might as well take a chance....
2007-01-01 07:26:51 · answer #4 · answered by crazzi12000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-06 07:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give her a chance I mean seriously maybe your feelings might change about her! I went out with this guy before I didn't feel anything with him but i stayed with him for a while cause I knew he really liked me and I really got to like him and a Lil bit of love but we broke up bout a year ago....
2007-01-01 07:27:18 · answer #6 · answered by Baby Bunni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should look past all the bad and look at all the good a girl has to offer you
its normal to not feel the chemistry (for me) the first time you kiss her its something you'll love and can feel if you pursue her
2007-01-01 07:26:51 · answer #7 · answered by Matt Koz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your self sometime thats the problem these days people are always in a hurry to get hurt
2007-01-01 07:26:32 · answer #8 · answered by purple_dogs_bed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,it happens that we ladies like to keep up our dignity normally on our first date just to play it safe. thats all. nothing much. i am very sure that she like any other lady is on such a move so please just give her some more time to be sure of you and just be careful and sure that you really want her so you dont turn your back on her. thats what we hatre most cos it really messes us up.big time!
i wish you all the best in your dating expedition!
2007-01-01 07:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by MissyFlexsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not really experienced...but i thnk u will get used to her...n since u like her soo much as a person...y not go on??? i mean is kissin alll u care about?? n plus...since u were akward first time u kissed ur ex too...mayb its jus sum kinda mormal hormonal feelin in you or sumthn....dun wry...go ahead...
2007-01-01 07:38:55 · answer #10 · answered by princessMD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋