Is he the biggest jerk ever ?

Question

How would you react if a guy you liked kept asking you to hang out at his house at night instead of out of a normal date ?

We used to know each other briefly years ago. He looked me up online recently.

I politely refused his requests to just drop by his house at night.

He told me repeatedly how much he liked me but now that I let him know that he is welcome to ask me out on a proper date he has disappeared.

I told him that I won't compromise my dating principles by dropping by his house at night.
I said he should understands since his personal ad says how he wants an 'emotionally available" relationship too.

So now after I explained my position he is ignoring me or signs off if I IM him. Im so embarassed and glum.

I guess Im annoyed because this guy knows Im going thru the most stressful time in my whole life (new move, new job, mother and grandmother both recently critically ill/injured)

And it hurts to add that this guy who is looking for the woman of his dreams just wanted me as a booty call.

I suppose I should be happy I didnt fall for his gamesplaying.

How big a jerk is he ? Should I pretend he was figment of my imagination ? I wish I could wipe him out of my memory like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind !

Answer 1

Pearl, I am sorry to hear about the tragedy of your mother's & grandmother's ilness/injury. I hope they recover fully and soon.

About this loser, you are anguishing over a non-event that you were smart enough to detect. YOu are a principled woman who won't be compromised, and a prize that most men cannot resist. BE THANKFUL you have such great intelligence and instinct. In fact, when you next see your mother & grandmother, thank them for giving you the intelligence and instinct that you have displayed. IT WILL MAKE THEIR DAY.

As of NOW, blank the loser out of your mind unless/until he shows respect and honesty to which you are entitled. You probably already are doing some of these things, but let me suggest them as a means of busying yourself with positive things:

1. Groom immaculately
2. Dress nicely
3. Study or work harder than ever
4. Spend an hour a day in the library
5. Spend an hour a day at the gym
6. Honor your parents, grandparents, & teachers
7. Get involved in a worthy school or community function
8. Volunteer a few hours a week for a worthy cause
9. Help someone every day
10.Go to Church
11.Invite your friends to Church
12.Take group dance lessons

Good Luck

Answer 2

Oh calm down. Maybe he is just cheap.....lol Just give it a little time. You'll be alright. It's always a little disappointing when we find out that our principals are not the same as the person we are attracted to. You told him that you won't compromise which is a good thing but now you really can't or it would be like you are going against your own beliefs. Maybe he found the woman of his dreams and the reality hasn't set in yet. He is a bit of a jerk but then we all are sometimes. It's OK, go ahead and pout. Soon he will be calling for a real date. Go dry your eyes.

Answer 3

If you don't already know the answer to your own question, hon, I don't know anything anybody could possibly say here on Q & A that would give you a clue. Why is it bothering you that he is ignoring you, as you say? Damn, you ought to be sweating with relief that this goofball isn't stalking ya.
You have mentioned that you have some stuff going on in your life right now . You don't need this kind of crap, and you are only getting it, it seems, because for some inconceivable reason you don't appear to want to give this moron the old "heave-ho" Come ON. You're smarter than this, I know. Let him be, and let him go find some other sucker to play his suspicious games on. And actually, I do find his behaviour suspicious.
You started out by calling him "the guy you liked" For crying out loud what is there to LIKE? He's downright weird. Here me now, or believe me later, if you keep anything going with this weirdo, you will regret it. You heard it here first.

Answer 4

That's like a 9 1/2 on the jerkface scale. I say move on and go the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind road. He doesn't deserve you. You're way cooler than that jerk.

Answer 5

He wanted to get in your goodies... it's good that you shut him down.... Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind??? (great movie BTW)... That seems like a plan. Never compromise your principles for an idiot

Answer 6

*** for you......smart woman!!! You were able to see right through this jerk and know what his intentions were. Be rid of him and don't look back.
I've always tried to instill in my daughters.....if any man, no matter how "hot" you think he is, can't treat you with respect, than he's not the man you want!
So sorry you had such a stressful year...perhaps 2007 will be better.

Answer 7

he has no morals And yes he is a jerk he wanted a booty call I'm glad you have respected your self Congrats hope other girls read your question so they can learn a thing or 2.
and forget about him deleat him from your IM you are better off alone look for a real man not a horny bastard.

Answer 8

Girl, you did the right thing. He sounds like a scum bag that only wanted one thing from you. Dont let it get to you. You can find someone that is so much better than that. Good luck.

Answer 9

Why are you embarrassed and glum? You're not the one playing games like he is. Something's not right with him in the head, don't waste a second more of your time on him.

Answer 10

Emotionally available means ready to f#ck at will to us men. Don't be embarrassed... he must have found you attractive if he wants to sleep w/ you... He's just a player... That's how we do.