I have been dating a guy for a year. We are on the same cellular phone plan. A couple of months ago we had a high phone bill so I looked at all the usage. 1 number in particular was called/text by him all hours of the day (including when he was at work). I questioned him and he said it was a guy friend of his sister and they were just catching up. A couple days ago, he left his E-mail up and I looked through it. I know that was wrong and normally not something I would do. However, there were emails back and forth from that girl (yeah, the friend's sister) asking about taking showers together, spending time together, etc. He denies everything of course and just puts the blame back on me for snooping. Any suggestions?
2007-01-01 07:03:00 · 13 answers · asked by aka_little_bit_21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Leave him..he is obviously cheating and disrespecting you!
2007-01-01 07:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by drg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on what you've mentioned here, I would say he has something to hide and isn't being honest with you. Still, don't assume.
You need to confront him. here's a healthy method of confrontation.
1. Affirm the relationship. - Let him know how you feel about him, ouside of this issue.
2. Discuss the issue. - The facts. What you know, not how it looks.
3. Discuss how the issue makes you feel - Even if i is your mind wondering, he should know. If he cares, it will help him understand why you are asking.
4. Discuss what needs to change - Maybe not him not chatting if it is innocent, but complete openness.
5. Discuss the change starts now.
6. Reconfirm the relationship - Let him know where you stand with whatever changed. If he doesn't stop, you aren't to just accept it. If all of this is not what it seems, then let him know you still love him.
You may want to ask him in there somewhere what he wants from the relationship. Where does he see this going? I would say he doesn't have any committment if he does not care to stop chatting with other girls in the way he did. Contrary to popular belief, flirting outside the relationship is not healthy.
2007-01-01 15:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, that it wasn't right to snoop, but you felt hurt/ mad/ whatever it was. There was a good thing that came from it thoguh. You learned that he was sort of at least with another girl. He is trash, because even after you had proof of it, he still denies.
Get rid of him and find somebody new, or you can stay with him and have him leave you for her, therefor hurting you worse in the long run.
2007-01-01 15:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by Doz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him, it's time to move on to a relationship that you CAN trust. A lot of guys will cheat as long as they can get away with it. His actions may be innocent, but if they truly were, he would not be so quick to point the finger at you for snooping. Both behaviors are bad for a relationship.
If it were me, I'd make a clean break and move on.
2007-01-01 15:10:00 · answer #4 · answered by not yet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already knew what the truth was before you snooped. Snooping just put the punctuation on it. Only you can decide if you are willing to forgive(and never bring it up again), forget, and move on or if you want to move on without him. In the end, you are the one who has to live with the consequences.
2007-01-01 15:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by dedakated1236 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sadly you already know the correct answer to your question, the thing is do you reach on it, or just forget it and let it go away, Only you can decide how much this guy means to you, if he means everything then you can work through this, but if you feel that you have lost all your trust with him, then just like the first answer it has to be "get rid".....
Good luck with whatever you choose, its a problem, that i whatever you choose will be difficult
2007-01-01 15:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by jesse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you are going through and you will just end up being the one who gets hurt! i think you should trust him if you are in love with him and dont want to loose him because love is so hard to find but when you find it you are trusting and loving and i think you should let it go "this time" but if things like this keep happening you should call him up on it and if he denise it you should tell him it his last chance to tell you the truth and if you think he is lieing you should leave him! there is to many guys in this world that treat woman like they are nothing, so dont get hurt!! i wish you the best of luck! Xx
2007-01-01 15:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by u'd tap this! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL, THE TRUST HAS BEEN BROKEN BETWEEN YOU TWO, THE BEST THING TO DO IS TELL HIM TO GO TAKE SHOWERS WITH THE OTHER WOMEN BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE............
HE IS DISRESPECTING YOU BY LIEING AND NO ONE NEEDS TO PUT UP WITH THAT..... AND IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT HE LEFT HIS MESSAGES UP....... YOU HAVE THE PROOF NO NEED IN WAITING AROUND TO GET RID OF HIM BECAUSE IF YOU LET THIS SLIDE AND KEEP HIM AROUND HE IS GOING TO DO THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.......
FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU SHOULD BE TREATED NO USE IN WASTING TIME ON SOMEONE WHO IS NOT WORTH IT... GOOD LUCK AND I HOPE YOU DO FIND THAT SOMEONE!
2007-01-01 15:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by evil_fallen_angel41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but he's playing you. you have the evidence so go with it. he doesn't respect you or he wouldn't be doing this to you. tell him to go jump in the lake and find a real man who doesn't feel the need to cheat!! GOOD LUCK hope things work out.
2007-01-01 15:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men are dogs, just look at it that way and you wont hafe to snoop around, find your text buddy.
2007-01-01 15:05:38 · answer #10 · answered by Pholla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋