Hey,
Okay so I have a problem and I have always had it, but I have run out of ideas on how to solve this. It is like I am scared of being in a relationship, but that's not it. It's just before I date a guy I love spending time with him, but whenever we are going out I ignore his phone calls and don't want to do things with him as much. I also find myself finding the worst in our relationship and find myself ending up dumping the guy and not liking him. I really like this guy I am with and don't want to do that. What am I supposed to do?
2007-01-01 06:55:52 · 18 answers · asked by Texas <3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you are afraid to trust guys, have you been in a relationship where you trusted someone and ended up hurt? Or are you afraid of that pain in general? This is something you need to work out for a good relationship.
The thing is, we don't know what the future holds, and when we say that we love someone, we don't know if we'll be together with that person next week or even forever, but that's not the point in the end. Here and now are what matter.
Focus only on today (things that are happening now)
never mind the future, deal with that when you get there, because all the things you think up that he might say or do, don't exist today-- they might never even happen, and they ruin your today.
Try not to think about the future when it comes to relationships, when ever you get negative thoughts, counter them with positive thoughts-- always look for the good things in the relationship.
And whenever you feel afraid, when it comes to the future, tell yourself that you'll see how things go when you get there.
Good luck! :)
2007-01-01 08:22:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think serious relationship come with maturity. If your still in h.s. that could mean your not wanting to get into a commited relationship because you have asperations after h.s. for college, sports or what ever and you know a relationship will hamper you,
If your older, there could be some attachment dissorder involved.. a shrink could help you on that...
if your young.... well, this is natural, some girls just hold on too the guy for a bit, feels them out and dumps them.. this is a good thing.. some times... as you are definind waht your looking for in a mate...
If you don't want that too happen, you knwo the warning signs, the usuall mistakes that you make, you just don't make those same ones... and nothing wrong with no serious attchments till after school... pains in the buttinskee's some times...
2007-01-01 07:02:10 · answer #2 · answered by Maken trax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first step is realizing you have a problem, you've done that. What is it about a relationship that scares you. Have you seem something horrible happen to someone? Are you scared of the intimacy? Until you descover why you have this problem you will continue to have it. After this you must make a conscious effort to hold on to this guy for a while. It will be difficult because you're not used to it. Call him once in a while. hang with him a couple of times a week. If you find something bad about him, just remember that we all have something bad in us, along with many goods.
2007-01-01 07:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by charity16sand 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you lose intrests in guys when you have them, which is really a bad thing,If you think you dont want to lose him, dont go out, just let each other know how you feel abou each other. That is the best way, for you to not mess up a realtionship. If you do go out with him, make sure you talk to him , how you you feel about him and this realtionship. Then DUmping him wont be that messy, good luck :)
2007-01-01 06:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by Boss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be friends with these guys for a longer amount of time, you dont have to have a romantic relationship to be with someone you like. Try to save the romance for someone you feel you love. And if you are having the same problem then it aint love dear its just that you where infatuated.
2007-01-01 06:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by boby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those situations where you have to take the time to figure that out before you even get in the relationship. I don't know if you have issues with him dumping you first or him not liking anything in the relationship. It seems to me like you are afraid of failure.
2007-01-01 06:58:34 · answer #6 · answered by Angel H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one is perfect not even you, try to look at the good things, not to cover up abuse but the little nit picky bad things that bother you. Some people just need more space than other and you may be that way. Let guys know that you don't like klingy people.
2007-01-01 07:02:44 · answer #7 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i m guessing but did u have a past relationship or may be som1 close to u who mgt have goten hurt so becoz of that u r nervous abt investing urself emotionally in another relatioship make ur peace with ur past n itll be fine
2007-01-01 07:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by well thts it...... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow you sound like me!! i don't know what it is about us but its weird. i do the same thing and all i know is i love men but not on a long term basis. for me its i like my space and when i feel its being invaded i back off. i also just don't like to talk all the time. i like to be with them but i don't want them calling me all the time. i don't know, it must be phycological. when people have things happen to them in the past it really puts a cramp on the future unless dealt with. obviously i haven't dealt with mine. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-01-01 07:04:09 · answer #9 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably scared to get your heart broken, and eventhough you're in love..... you feel the future, in other words you're seeing what might happen to you. I've experienced the same thing. Yuo'll figure it out. Good Luck!
2007-01-01 07:00:11 · answer #10 · answered by rzeznik_101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋