ive met this guy i get this feeling something is not right about him on our second date he told me hes never felt this way about anyone im his perect woman and that he wants to travel with me, i met him on internet dating, but he wont let me look at his site, hes been really full on straight away is this normal or is he just after sex ive caught him telling me little lies already
2007-01-01 06:47:59 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't trust him. My ex was the same way. The moment you stop letting them control you and start building yourself up, they explode on you and start getting abusive in all ways. They try harming you, they lie to your family, they destroy your reputation. I allowed my ex husband to control me for 3 years. When I got pregnant with our second child, I had just started college. He expected me to drop out and cater to him because nobody would "care for" him after the baby was born. I told him no, that I needed to have something under my belt if something happened to him so that the children and I could live a good life IF anything happen. You know, planning for what the future may bring. He became angry, and said he was only ALLOWING me to study because he knew I would fail and would never finish it. Well, as I got good grades and maintained a 4.0 GPA, he became worse. I was made to get a job for one of my classes, an internship, and I got a great one in marketing. As soon as I got my 140 hours, he started screaming at me to quit. I refused because he had been neglecting our daughter and I before I got the job, and now our daughter had enough clothing and I was able to get things that I desired and needed without having to beg him just for $5 to get medicine. That angered him greatly. When I was told that I had a higher percentage in my work than most, which is a good thing, something in him snapped. He slammed a stroller over my back, slammed me into the couch and the floor multiple times, stood on one of my legs and twisted the ankle on the other until it broke. I am now a college graduate and I still have my job. My children are doing much better now that they are not living in an "walking on eggshells" atmosphere.
He came on just like you describe. We met, and he wanted to spend every minute of every day together. I didn't have a job or responsibilities at the time, so I said why not. After 4 days, he asked me to marry him. After two months, we were married. I caught him in many lies after that, and confronted him on them. He acted like they were nothing. But if I DARED to not tell him one little detail of my day, I got it. Get away from him. You are risking your life and your happiness, not to mention the ability to ever trust again.
2007-01-01 06:56:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Before I get to lying part, I want to tell you a storry about this one friend of mine who told women he wanted a relationship with them on the first or second date. He was in his 30s and just didn't have common sense and didn't know how to act around women. I kept telling him that I understand his feeling but that this kind of thing would scare women off. He needed to be nice and be interested in the woman as a whole person. Not that I'm a Casanova or anything, but coming on like that just seems scary to a woman. How can you know that a woman is so wonderful that you really want to be in a relationship? You can't. You can only be excited about her. Maybe it's sex. Maybe it's just the chance that you are making an important connection. Excitement is totally understandable, but one needs to take it slow or else scare off the woman. I've done it once or twice when I was learning about such things, but my friend should have known better as he is older than that. He didn't. After I told him what to do, he still continued to try to hurry things along by saying that he wanted a relationship right when he met the woman and the women kept being scared off.
What does he want? Sex? Sure. We all want that and the sooner the better. Is it about you? How could it be yet? The guy sounds strange and apparently isn't picky. He probably lacks experience. Internet dating is mainstream now, but that doesn't mean certain people don't still do it who are desparate. On the other hand, it doesn't mean he's not a good guy who just needs a little love and affection.
At this point, when he talks about the future, he doesn't know what he's talking about. He's not talking about you, but some dream in his mind regarding a perfect woman and, I don't know you, but I'll bet $1000 that you aren't a perfect woman. That's not to say that you aren't beautiful or kind or interesting, but no one is perfect, so I'm just playing the odds. It's a disconect he's having, but no guy is perfect either. He could be a great guy to be with.
What to do? Say "I don't mind hanging with you and seeing where this is going, but I'm not ready to commit to traveling just yet and I'm not as perfect as you think." Be kind and don't embarrass him, but you need to set boundaries (which can later be taken down).
If your gut still tells you that this isn't right or you just can't take the forwardness of him, break it off.
What about lying? Not sure what you mean by lying, though. If he is telling you lies now, cut it off now. They'll just get worse. With the two weird things together, your gut is telling you to get out now!
2007-01-01 07:06:49 · answer #2 · answered by Erik B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't trust this man sounds like he is hiding something from you and when they start doing that it will only get worse. Sounds like he wants one thing only, once a liar always a liar. If he has told you little lies already what else is there
2007-01-01 06:55:27 · answer #3 · answered by saucey 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i would be worried,if you dont things are 'right' slow things down and if he is up to no good it should soon show itself to be that way.you have every right after using an internet site to be cautious and he should really feel the same.why you cannot look at his site would seem very odd to me,,after all you are trying to get to know this person and if there is information that would assist this process why should you not see?
2007-01-01 06:52:21 · answer #4 · answered by lex 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get rid straight away, if the lies are little at the beginning wot is he gonna be like later on?
2007-01-01 06:50:18 · answer #5 · answered by Homer Baby 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your gut!!!! If he's already telling little lies, he's also telling big ones! And in genuinely true relationship, there aren't secrets. He's hiding something from you.
2007-01-01 06:51:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stay away, he sounds like a wrongun. Theres a lot of weirdo's out there and he might be one of them. If he's lied already it will get worse.
2007-01-01 06:50:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you're seeing warning signs, heed them. I wouldn't trust him, given your admittedly-brief description. It's only a second date...I'd walk away.
Good luck, and Happy New Year--
2007-01-01 06:50:56 · answer #8 · answered by KD 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why won't he let you look at his site? That just creeps me out! If hes lying/lier than talk to him and find out why he lied. MAybe dump him, depending on the answers. If you du,p him, eat chocolate, its a very yummy and conforting thing. :-)
2007-01-01 06:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by Surfer Girl 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Always go with your gut instincts.He may be genuine,but he seems like he has something to hide from what you have said.There's plenty more guys out there I'd ditch this one.
2007-01-01 06:50:39 · answer #10 · answered by Jellytaz 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋