My aunt and uncle are on welfare and have one baby, Johnathan. He is slow in development and is taking physical therapy because he is a year old and hasn't begun to crawl. So it's obvious that he needs special attention, right?
Well, then my aunt finds out that she's pregnant... again. They already have trouble affording their first kid. How to tell them to stop without being rude?
2007-01-01 06:19:12 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh my god, lol, I don't want them to have an abortion! I meant how do I get them to stop after the second child is born. Sorry if it was misleading, oops!
2007-01-01 07:00:35 · update #1
There's a two step approach. First, tell them how much you love them and care for them. Tell them that you want the best for them and their son. Once you've done that, bring up the issue of affording children.
There's a report you can offer. Some of the key findings on the report show:
- the total cost in today's dollars is $448,000 to raise two children from birth to age 20. That's around $322 a week, or 24 per cent of average gross household income of $1324 a week.
- in an average two-child family, total expenses hit $100,000 when the oldest child is eight. By the time the oldest child is 16, total expenses have hit a quarter of a million.
- parents on average spend around $50,000 on education and child care, although these costs will rise if the parents choose private schools.
If you want to investigate the costs, here are two web sites:
http://www.amp.com.au/group/3column/0,2449,CH5306%255FNI74074%255FSI3,00.html
http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/businessmanagement/DF5899.html
2007-01-01 06:23:16 · answer #1 · answered by nevisgent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off... it is really wonderful that you are concerned about your family, and their children. It is hard to see children grow up and not have all the things they could have had if their parents had more money. That being said... Your aunt and uncle have their own lives to live. They make the choice whether to have children or not. Hopefully no one would be so selfish as to start having babies all over the place and then neglect or abuse them because they cannot care for them. Welfare and "having trouble affording" your kids though, is not the end of the world. I am sure that your aunt and uncle love their son very much... and most likely are thrilled to be bringing a brother/sister into the world for him to be with! It sounds like their first son might indeed need some help, and believe it or not there is plenty of FREE help out there for him. If your aunt and uncle already receive govt. aid then they can surely find affordable help for their first son. Bringing me back around to my original thought... if your aunt and uncle love their kids, they will find a way to support them and take care of them, no matter what their situation is. That is the thing about becoming a parent. You realize what is most important, and you NEVER stop trying to give your kids everything you possibly can (even if it isn't much that you can give!). My answer to you is: Don't tell them that having another baby is wrong. That IS rude. Show them you care about them by offering any assistance you can... even if it's just coming over to play with the kids every once in a while.
2007-01-01 14:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by KSmom24 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Johnathan's new brother/sister will definitely help his development. also there is no way to stop the new baby unless she goes for an abortion! maybe God is sending them a new baby to bring some happiness to their life. don't be disappointed, that might be better for them. have a happy new year
2007-01-01 14:30:01 · answer #3 · answered by maximonz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people just don't make good decisions and they never will. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know if you can or can't afford more kids, and obviously if they were worried about it they would have tried harder to NOT get pregnant. I don't think there is anything you can do honestly. I mean you can tell them what you think, but just because you think it and say it doesn't mean they will appreciate it or take your advice anyway.
2007-01-01 14:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is absolutely none of your business and you should not say anything to them. It sounds harsh and I realize you just want to help, but all this will do is alienate you from your relatives. You really do not have a vote in if their unborn child has a right to live or who should raise the baby (adoption).
If you want to show your concern, offer to help watch Jonathan or help her with household duties in the later stages of her pregnancy.
2007-01-01 14:45:59 · answer #5 · answered by Contessa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might point out to them that they will need all their reosurces to care for the ones they have. Of course, if they have religious reasons for not using birth control, then they will not use any and then you can just give them whatever support you can --emotional or financial.
Tell them that you are concerned about them and their kids. But --you can't make them listen to your advice, so don't take it personally if they have more kids.
2007-01-01 15:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really stay out of it. It's a terrible situation but there isn't really a good way to tell adults to give up on their rights to reproduction. Hopefully they will figure out on their own that they need to stop having children they cannot afford to support.
2007-01-01 14:25:24 · answer #7 · answered by CAITLIN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could sleep between them, it might be a deterrent, but you never know.....honey...MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! unless they are retarded, I think they know where babies come from.......
2007-01-01 15:06:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋