When people speak in a language you don't know, do you often assume they are talking about you?

Question

The other day when the neighbor girl had invited herself over again, my sister was stealthily teasing me by telling the neighbor girl about how much I talk about her and how many nice things she has heard me say about her. I've told my sister (who is visiting me for the holidays) about how much the neighbor girl stalks me and spies on me and such. So, in Russian, I basically told my sister to stop it and reminded her about how she's fueling the neighbor girl's obsession with me...because I couldn't say it in English of course with the neighbor girl there.

Afterwards my sister told me that she had to tell the girl that I even say nice things about her in Russian. What are the chances that the neighbor girl suspects I was not really saying nice things about her? She doesn't know Russian...only French which is very different.

Answer 1

YES! I do. But you can just tell if someone is. Usually, well this sounds very girlie of me, but when i get my nails done by a Chinese family i can tell sometimes when they are talking about me. I don't necessarily think that it's bad but i sure can tell when they are.

I find it very funny that your sister is saying these things. But i feel bad for you because i know how she is. and i sure do think that neighbor girl is going to be even more obsessive. :(

Well the chances of the neighbor girl thinking that you were not saying nice things, is very slim. She is tooooo obsessed with you to even think that you are saying bad things. Which is unfortunate for you because she may be knocking on your door more often.

(hope you're doing well, i haven't been on a while) : )

Answer 2

After working in ESL (English as a Second Language)for a long time, I almost gave up on trying to teach people how rude it is to speak in another language if already know the common one. It automatically sends off signals that you're saying something inappropriate. The only way that this is acceptable is if you're translating. And when you're translating, you should explain what it is that you're translatin so others are not left in the dark and assuming things. It is never nice to leave someone out of the conversation. If you need to speak to your sister in private, ask her to help you in the kitchen and talk to her then.

Answer 3

It is rude to speak in another language in front of people to exclude them. Some people are just rude like that. If you all have a common language then switch to another one then obviously you are too ashamed, embaresed, or rude(you don't care or are purposely excluding this other person) or are saying stuff about them so they can't understand it. When others speak a different language it feels like I am being left out or scorned. Not a good feeling. If you are going to say something about a person and they are sitting right there might as well bring it out into the open instead of hiding it behind a veil of words.

Answer 4

I came from a Polish speaking home and when we were around English speaking people we always spoke English to one another no matter what and saved our personal remarks when we were amongst ourselves in privacy.
I believe that it is extremely rude to speak another language in the presence of those who can't understand because it gives them the sense that they are being excluded, thus giving them the suspicions that you are talking about them.
My son married a Hispanic girl and she has a large family that talks perfectly good English, however are constantly throwing their native tongue whenever we have get-together and I myself find this extremely irritating, especially when they will interupt a conversation to make a remark to one another while I was in the middle of saying something.
There is never an excuse to be rude and insulting no-matter what language we speak.
If you consider yourself to be a person with manners and consideration for others, I would suggest that even though you aren't liking the neighbor too much go and apologize to her yourself for you and your sister for making her feel uncomfortable, and from now on keep your remarks in the privacy of your home when she's not around to hear them. It's not hard to do.

Answer 5

If someone (knows)you speak their language, it's not respect full to talk in a different language in front of them,Your demeanor and tone can be translated. This shows you may or may not care for their opinion and incorporate them in the conversation. Never mind about ill confidence on there part .You have a responsibility to say it later. You are only making it worse, if you let her continue.It sounds that by doing nothing, not respectfully letting her know where your interest lie she'll take it as you are interested and or could be swayed. tell her so she can go on with her life or introduce her to another,tell her your gay....something. Come on man!

Answer 6

I don't assume that they're talking about me, but I do think that it's rude. I live in a place where there are a lot of Spanish-speaking people. Most of them are biligual & speak fluent English, so when they speak in Spanish in front of me, I find it rude. It's worse if it's a boss & shop steward doing it, because you can't tell if they're making a "deal". This isn't paranoid.....it's happened.

Answer 7

When i hear someone speaking a different languauge, i think they are talking about me. When i speak a different language around other people the yalways think i said something bad about them. I dont know why.

Answer 8

well sometimes we almost always do that...it depends really if u don't like sumthing about them then u'll say in ur language or if u don't want them to know sumthing then ofcourse u won't use english

Answer 9

Yes, I always assume so especially if they know English.

Answer 10

Sometimes!