How do you like to deal with Telemarketers?

Answer 1

Sometimes I act very interested and then let them start on their spiel and then just lay the phone on the table and walk away. Other times, I start telling my whole life story. On occasion, if I get a really obnoxious call, I tell the person on the phone that I have my mother locked in a cage in the back and then I pretend like she escaped and I have to go chase her down. Hahaha!

Answer 2

Speak as if you can’t hear anything while the telemarketer makes a pitch. “Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Oh, I guess not.” (hang up)
Tell the telemarketer that you’ll be with them in a second; you have a call on the other line. Then pretend to transfer, but don’t. Pretend to speak to another person and tell them you have some dumb telemarketer on the line. The telemarketer of course hears everything.
Speak a foreign gibberish language. This works for panhandlers on the street too.
(In response to carpet cleaning services). “You clean carpets? Fantastic, you’re just what I need. Can you get blood out of carpets? Yes? A whole lot of blood? I’ve got a lot of blood on my carpet, it’s everywhere, and I need some help, fast. Can you come over right away? But don’t let anyone know you’re coming OK?”
If they want to give you a loan, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Telemarketer: “How are you today?” Response: “Well, that’s so nice of you to ask. As a matter of fact, I’m a bit upset because my cat got the runs. And you know, just last night, I felt this twinge in my back as I was bending over to take care of a hangnail on my big toe. Have you ever had one of those? I hope not, because it’s as bad as an itchy scalp, and I’ve got that all the time. You just don’t know the pain I’m in…etc”
“We had an outbound-only phone at a tiny little company I worked for briefly... when it rang, it tended to get answered with “Joe's Porno Shop” or something equally off-putting. Compounding the irony was the fact that it was outbound-only because it was the line the company used for, get this, telemarketing.”
Telemarketer: “Is Mr. or Mrs. Maynard there?” Response: “No I’m sorry, they’re not.” Telemarketer: “When will they be in?” Response: “Well, they died…”
The Seinfeld classic: (in response to a telemarketer) “Thanks for calling. Say, I’m a bit busy right now. Would you mind giving me your home telephone number? …Oh, you don’t like getting business calls at your home? Well, neither do I. Good-bye.”
Telemarketer: Is this Mr. Smith?
Response: Yes
Telemarketer: How are you today?
Response: Fine thank you.
Telemarketer: I’m conducting a survey on behalf of candidate Stanley Liebigski. Could I ask you a few questions?
Response: You just did.

there is an excellent audio clip on line where the guy pretends he's the detective who is it a crime scene, and the marketing guy ends up at a suspect...it's hilarious and v effective, but I can't find it anymore. maybe someone else here knows it.

Answer 3

If I answer the phone before my answering machine picks up - I can tell that their machines is checking and then during that time it takes the telemarketer to determine if a human picked up the phone at my end - I simply hang up when they start to speak.

Answer 4

I listen a bit to what they have to say. They may actually have a deal.

I used to be a teacher--got fed up with the pay and started telemarketing (yeah, no kidding). I went to work for a large cable/internet/phone company that I had always done business with.

I was amazed at the great deals they gave to people to sign up for services. When I was just their customer, I never got offered those deals. Then I thought back, well, they probably did try to offer me those deals, but I simply said NO!! when they called without listening.

There is a lesson to be learned here....

M

Answer 5

I use dial-up internet
keeps 100% of telemarketers off my phone

All my friends, relatives, and real business contacts know to call my cell phone

Some people do without land-line phones, and only use cell phones, because cell phone numbers are not listed in directories, and telemarketers can't call you.

Answer 6

I ask questions in my Finnish accent. I tell them, "This is not a good time as we're waiting for the funeral home to come pick up my dead father/mother (this actually happened when a telephone company called wanting my mom to switch. They called back the next day!)." I ask if they want to speak to the SENIOR or JUNIOR of the person they ask for, then I tell them he is in Iraq and I am house sitting. I tell them I'm just the house sitter that the owners are in Europe for the winter/summer. I tell them I'm in the Navy and just got home from 6 months at sea and they just interrupted me (while making moaning noises and very appreciative remarks). I cry crazily, "Why are you calling me? Why can't you leave me alone! You call and call and call! I can't take it anymore! I want to die!" then slam the phone down.
I say, "This is sgt. jones. We have a crime scene here and I need some information from you as to how you know the victim..."

Answer 7

depends ... sometimes I tell them I can't use their product ... new windows and doors ... do they install them on cardboard boxes .. no thanks my car would look strange with that on it .. etc, at times if I can't get the person off the phone I've put it down and just walked away. Other times I tell them I have no job, no money and in general feel a great sense of depression ... but I do try to be nice ... I hate slamming phones since I used to do telemarketing years ago.

Answer 8

I know they are simply trying to make a living. But I just interrupt them while they're talking at the speed of light and just inform them I'm not interested and have a nice day then hang up.

Answer 9

Just say "No, Thank You." If they keep asking more than 4 or 5 times, I hang up.

Answer 10

I tell them that the person they are calling for is not here because he went to get ice cream a week ago and never returned.