I was told that if i didnt stop shooting she would with hold sex.....
She is a vegetarian...... I replied that i would stop shooting if she ate meat.....
She really didnt like that .....
Do all women try to change us men into something else.... are we renovation projects to them .... Why cant they just accept us for who we are....?
2007-01-01 05:32:15 · 43 answers · asked by Fox Hunter 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In some ways, women try to change men because they aren't perfect (no one, male or female is). Now if she was trying to change a bad habit, like biting your nails or leaving the toilet seat up all the time, I think you should give her a break. Those are two habits I have a had a hard time with my husband, because they drive me nuts and I have to live with him. But they aren't a part of who he is (well the toilet seat up thing is a guy thing...), such as hunting is in your case (for him it is shooting as well, but not hunting, more like at the gun range).
But in your case, I think she is trying to change who you actually are. She shouldn't expect that of you. I am assuming you are referring to hunting (because of the reference to animals)? I'm sure that is something you did before you hooked up with her, so she should have known what she was getting into. In this case, it isn't right for her to try to change that part of you. she either needs to accept that this is something you enjoy or move on. Period.
2007-01-01 05:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls (trust me, I know, I am one) are fickle and choosey. They are attracted to a boy and then once they have that boy, they are determined to change the factors they do not like. Girls can forget the reasons they were attracted to that boy in the first place. Every girl, deep down, whether or not they have realistic expectations, wants the perfect guy (this theory of course, excludes girls who are attracted to other girls, but I'm sure that lesbians also want the perfect partner). Even if a girl tries really hard to be accepting of a guy the way he is, she still comes out somewhat disappointed. It's those fairy tales we're told as babies; they stick to us.
As for your problem, it wasn't a matter of change so much as conflicting beliefs.
It wasn't right to withhold sex from you, however. That's not right, to think she can control you. But you were wrong to say that you'd stop hunting if she started eating meat. She's asking you to drop a hobby that offends her; you're asking her to go against her beliefs and change her entire diet around.
You shoot and eat animals; she doesn't approve of shooting and eating animals. She isn't trying to change who you are, she's trying to tell you you aren't always sensitive to her beliefs. If I were her, I wouldn't want you shooting little bunny rabbits either.
It obviously hurts her that you hunt, does it really hurt you if she doesn't eat meat? She's not asking you to become a vegetarian like her, just to stop hunting.
Now I'm not a fan of vegetarians; my whole thing is if vegetarians are angry, it's because they can't eat meat. However, you're both wrong in this case (with you a little more so. Sorry, buddy). If you have a lot of fun shooting and you can't give it up; time for a break up. Find a girl who doesn't care about the hunt (or better yet, wants to shoot with you). If you really like Veggie Girl, though, you're going to have to make a compromise to save your relationship.
2007-01-01 05:50:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not all women try to change men. I think it basically boils down to this: She likes most things about you, but she really dislikes this one. So, instead of just accepting it and realizing that no one is perfect (not that shooting is a flaw, but in her eyes it is), she tries to change you. What she should really do is be firm in her beliefs and not shoot herself, and not impose her beliefs on you. That's difficult for most people to do...to separate themselves and realize that not everyone needs to think the exact same way they do or that just because others don't think that way, doesn't mean that they are wrong.
Withholding sex is a manipulation. It is a mind game, and you should never allow her to use that. It doesn't seem that she has a good understanding of what it means to be in a healthy relationship.
2007-01-01 05:42:06 · answer #3 · answered by AK 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have to understand that some women are not comfortable with the way that some men are and things that some of you men do. men try to change women too. when you start talking to a girl and if she's skinny and then all of a sudden she gets fat ,don't you try to tell her that look i liked you the way you were before could you try losing some weight. even the time . you men try to change us. because you know when we say 5 it is really 10 the next day and you men try to change that. and we know why and it's because you just do not like it that way. if we try to change just one little thing you complain. we are not here trying to change you for the worst we are here trying to change you for the better.
please just understand. and what you said to here was pretty mean. it's hard trying to change you men sometimes you you have your own minds and want to do what you want. but if we don't like something we are going to tell you. I'm sure there is something you don't like about her so tell her and try to change it as well. as long as what you are trying to change is for the better and not for the worst.
i hope this has helped a lot.
2007-01-01 05:42:02 · answer #4 · answered by kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do men try to change women and control us?
I say what's good for the goose, is good for the gander.
If you hunt for your food, I see nothing wrong with that. It's part of life, but if she has a problem with that..then you need to talk to her. Don't give up eating meat because she doesn't want you to. Stand your ground. If she can't handle it, then maybe this relationship wasn't meant to be.
Relationships are learning how to deal with each other's differences, not control them.
2007-01-01 05:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by Voice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, almost all women try to change their man, it's just our nature, we have a basic instinct to always try to improve things. I have known my husband since I was 19, been married forever, when ever we get in the car, I can't stop criticizing his driving, it makes me crazy!!! One day from the back seat, my daughter, commited that I complain a bout the speed, the lack of using the turn signal, the fact he does not use his seat belt, ect, ect.., she asked my why after all these years did I really think I could change the way he drives???The answer is no, can I keep my mouth shut in the car? no.
2007-01-01 05:49:16 · answer #6 · answered by Kimberly H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All women don't do anything...nor do all men...however, for some reason, it is not uncommon for some women to do exactly as you describe...they meet someone they really like and then try to change things about that person, things that make that person who they are.
Why? I don't know...my guess is that they cannot find their 'perfect' guy so they settle for one that will do and then try to change those aspects of him that don't fit their mold as ideal...
I'm a woman and I don't work that way but I know it happens...one reason I've been single so long is that I haven't met a guy with whom there was a mutual desire to date...the guys who have wanted to date me may well have been nice guys, but there were qualities or issues I found unacceptable...I didn't go ahead and get with them and start initiating a change...I just moved on because I wouldn't want someone trying to change me either...
I agree that we need to accept our potential partners for who and what they are, and love them in spite of their faults and differences...not try to make them into someone they are not...that means we really don't love THEM after all...
2007-01-01 05:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a vegetarian myself, I'm not sure if I could date a hunter.
But that's beside the point. Women want men to change for them because they view it as a 'sacrifice' to keep them. This makes them feel special and needed when their relationship is valued over porn or beer.
Sometimes I feel stupid being female. :)
2007-01-01 05:36:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because since all the good ones are dead we have to get a half decent one and try to renovate him. Of course as soon as you teach him to do the dishes, the laundry, cook and dress, he runs off with another woman taking all your hard work with him.
2007-01-01 05:45:23 · answer #9 · answered by Tzipor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, good question. YES - they all try to change men. Either subtly or directly. The thing is, if you're annoyed, you can either ditch her or put up with it. Get someone who likes shooting. And then she will try to change you for other things..
"A woman will try and try to take control of her man. The man's job is not to let that happen."
2007-01-01 05:38:23 · answer #10 · answered by Think Richly™ 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋