I have noticed that in many peoples lives that love is often with an unsuitable partner.
And for many it causes lots of grief!
so would some one choose to fall in love if this is the case?
2007-01-01 05:31:34 · 42 answers · asked by kiku 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey Kiku, you are really smart for noticing that many people fall in love with unsuitable partners. I think you really want to avoid that so let me tell you a little secret about unsuitable people. Most people grow up with plenty of affection and plenty of discipline. This means that EVERY day when they were a child, either their mother or their father (or both) hugged them AND told them that they loved them. And EVERY time they did something bad, they got punished (spanked, but with an explanation) These people grow up to be normal and SUITABLE! They know how to recieve love and they know how to give love, because they have years of experience at both. If you are attracted to someone and feeling like you are falling in love with them, then ask them about their affection and discipline growing up. It's even better to go with them into their home and observe their relationship with their parents. If they don't hug each other, if they don't tell each other that they love each other, RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! People who are raised without affection and without discipline are screwed up and are screwed up for life! They cannot love or be loved. They are unsuitable for you and they are unsuitable for anyone else. I'm sorry, Kiku, but these are facts that I have learned the hard way. Hope you can avoid bad people and bad experiences and bad relationships. As for whether you choose to fall in love or if it just happens, I agree with rjnaz81 and PM and musicman and Mrs. Cooper and with Savannah.
2007-01-01 06:19:17 · answer #1 · answered by gabriel3791 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure you can really choose to fall in love with someone. There just becomes a natural attraction and it either works out or it doesn't.
In relationships I have had they were normally firendships first and then progressed from there and sometimes turned into a relationship without either of us really noticing what was happening. It can jump up and bite you on the **** when you are least expecting it.
Saying that though. Would it be really nice to be able to avoid the unsuitable partners and not have the grief you was refering to? I've certainly had my fair share of that and I am still trying to get it right and hoping the next one will not be grief lol.
Just follow how your heart feels. And hope it gets it somewhere near right :-)
Good luck in love. xx
2007-01-01 06:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I think love just happens, sometimes its not always obvious it can happen over time, and sometimes it happens straight away,
To love someone contains a lot more that you think, you have to love that person, find them attractive, cant stand to be with out them, trust them and them be your best friend. If you dont have all this then you are not it love, So really i dont know how someone will choose to love a person. So i dont know how anyone can choose an unsuitable partener, maybe thats just an opinion.
2007-01-01 05:37:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We choose to love many in our lifetime, but falling in love is something that just seems to happen when we're not looking.
You can choose to love someone, even think you're in love with them, but when the relationship ends..you find you can really do without this person.
Falling in love is different...it can totally consume you emotionally. It's something that sneaks up on you when you're not looking. Real LOVE, is a rare and precious thing.
2007-01-01 05:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by Voice 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always said when I was young that when I fall in love, it would be forever, just like the old song, so maybe I was ripe for love when I met my husband. But I also said that I'd never marry a person of his nationality (he's foreign) - and here we are decades later still married! In many ways we are completely incompatible, but still love each other, so if anyone can explain it all...I'd love to know.
2007-01-01 05:38:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if someone just chose to fall in love, then they get a lot more grief than being with an unsuitable partner
2007-01-01 05:34:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No! the general rule is that if you fall in love with a person it comes around on its own devices not planned and in most cases it works admirably and you remain happy for the rest of your life and that's a happy marriage which seems to evade most couples to-day unfortunately
2007-01-01 05:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by srracvuee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that in generations today, everyones main aim is to "fall in love" and thats why you find people finding unsuitable partners, not because they fell in love, but because they want to be.
No one falls in love too easily, they are merely feeling emotions such as lust, need etc in which they convince themselves are the feelings of love.
Love is indescribable, love has no definition.
If someone can find a reason why they love someone, then their not in love, its as simple as that.
So the whole "i love the way you laugh" in some terms, is a bunch of crap, but not necessarily to all people.
You don't choose who you want to love, because scientifically people are attracted through odor smells, so if your odor isn't matching theirs, then it isn't gunna work.
And there also is no "too young to love" a lot of children to this day in age find love at so young because they have matured so quickly. Unfortunately for them, theres no chance of it lasting simply because of their age.
There's different types of love:
Physical attraction
Emotional attraction
and a mixture of both.
Now all three of these can work depending on the person, but the one that has a higher percentage of working is the mixture of the 2 attractions.
My partner said to me today "If your in a relationship, and they ask you to change for whatever reason, then your not in love, simply because you should love someone for who they are, not for who you want them to be"
And i totally agree with him.
2007-01-01 05:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For me, it just happens. I wish I had control of my heart enough to make it fall in love with a woman my head likes.
2007-01-01 05:36:23 · answer #9 · answered by S K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't choose to fall in Love... its Natural. Love comes from within, and its an emotion that grows on you. Personally, I wouldn't want to choose... it just isn't the same!
2007-01-01 05:33:49 · answer #10 · answered by CUTIE 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋