I was unfaithful once and it helped in relighting the fires for me and my partner, is it wrong/strange..?

Question

Me and my married co-worker went thru' a no-strings attached relationship for sometime and had some good time. And in someway or other it helped us in rekindling the passions in our respective steady relationship.

Now we are out of that relationship, we do still talk a lot about all the things, but the fact being since we don't expect anything and need not be answerable for any of our words and actions it is so much fun.

Don't please judge me for all that, I'm over that already..It is just that with this new-found change for good, wanted to see if there are others like me or if it is totally strange/wrong.

Answer 1

Variety can be the spice of life!

Answer 2

It sounds like you guys are not ready for full commitment as yet and that is okay but be careful the other partner does not find out as it will bring a lot of hurt into the relationship and may end it.

It is unfair to the other party because I think that you can rekindle a relationship without being unfaithful.

Remember when you were dating how much fun it was so go that way you can date your spouse or significant other, leave notes send flowers for no other reason than you love them, surprise lunch's or dinners etc. and cuddling with no sex is always good.

Answer 3

How would you feel if your partner did the same? You say don't judge me but you want to know if it's "totally strange/wrong?" If you are not yet married and it's something you needed to get out of your system and you are now more sure of your relationship, than maybe it was good... but you jeopardized your long term relationship because you might loose your partner if they ever find out. If you are married than it is just wrong and you'll probably be tempted again some day and you need some counseling to figure out what you really want.

Answer 4

I have recently ended a similar relationship with a co-worker, but we never reached a level of physical intimacy. I grew to love this man and miss him terribly now that we do not speak. I found that the intimacy that I was wanting from my husband this man was able to understand. Strangely enough, this situation taught me to have a voice when communicating my needs to my husband. He eventually got it and my marriage is much better. He knows nothing of the other relationship, however my coworker is not so lucky and is dealing with a very angry wife. My co-worker also learned a great deal about himself and I am hoping his wife can learn to recognize the changes he made.

Answer 5

Sometimes, it helps you to realise what is missing in your long term relationship and makes you work all the harder to keep it going. That's if you want to stay with your long term partner. Sometimes, if you are in a relationship where your partner has started taking you for granted, having an affair and them finding out about it can give them the short, sharp shock they need to see that you are desirable and if they continue neglecting you, they risk losing you. In the end though, having affairs on the side is very risky and can end the relationship you are in as the partner can't forgive you. Be careful.

Answer 6

It is only temporary. You will get the itch again, once a cheater always a cheater. Very few stop that kind of thing.

Further, you will have to answer and repent for that one day when you face the Lord. THAT is gonna be hard becuaes when we die, all things are made known. There are NO secrets in heaven. So if your wife doesnt know now, she will eventually know.

Very sad.....sleeping with another mans wife. Not to mention on your own. Very sad...

Answer 7

Yes, it is wrong (morally), but not necessarily strange. I understand what you mean about the rekindling of you passions, though. Up until about a month or so ago, I wouldn't have understood, but now I do. I'm actually married, though, and I have never had so many mixed emotions in my entire life!

Answer 8

Wow, that all depends.
Things like this have a way of getting back and biting us on the a.s.s. no matter how much is covered up. It's usually easy for onlookers to figure out who's screwing whom, just by the way they act, even subtle. Just hope someone doesn't get mouthy about it, or worse..black mail.

I am guessing you didn't bring back any diseases to the "regular" relationship.

I'd stay away from extra relationships. There's an old song though, "Who's making love to your old lady, while you were out making love." Meaning, are you sure he's not screwing around on you too?

Answer 9

your feelings of much fun, as you described the situation as being unanswerable to each other may be achieved in married life after a certain time of marriage, when you get full confidence on each other.
That stage has even more fun, as you are enjoying with someone your own.
One have to be patient in early transitional zone of marriage life, so to get the fruit of developed confidence, after passing the most difficult confidence building zone.
Better you both join again with each other.
Send me an invitation card on your marriage ceremony.
Try to learn to believe and a little compromise.
You'll get fruit latter on.
Thanks

Answer 10

Personally I think cheating is sick and gross and everytime I hear about it my stomach gets queasy and I feel as though I'll puke. But, I've been through this. Before our engagement, my fiance cheated and left me. He realized how much he loved and missed me and he came back. He had to beg for like a month before I'd take him back, but he had a newfound love and respect for me. So in a way it's not strange. Happens all the time.

Answer 11

Of course it's not right that you cheated but it's good that it's over. I don't think it's strange at all because maybe it was meant to happen to show what you truly already have. Showing that what you have is good helps you to be happy with it.