I was on a weekend trip with my girl friend and on the way home innocently mentioned an ad I saw in a magazine on improving lovemaking. It was a non-porno DVD narrarated by both male and female psychologists/sex therapists meant to show/help couples how to better understand each other sexually, and how to openly communicate and understand each other's sexuality and needs. I bought it. They do show different couples making love (very nicely done) with the couples and therapists discussing how they improved in their lovemaking and understanding. Was I out of line to talk about the possibility of viewing this? Our lovemaking is good but we don't really get better and there are some issues there that I just think talking about it would help. She didn't say anything then but a few days later she seemed offended by the thought and didn't think we "needed" a video. We have been going out for 3 years and are both in our 40's. Was I out of line?
2007-01-01 03:56:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, I wouldn't think it was out of line, however you know your girlfriend, if she is easilly embarrased or uptight it might have offended her. You should try to talk to her about why she was upset by it, and explain to her that your goal was to make your sex life better for her pleasure as well as your own.
2007-01-01 04:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by Hotsauce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you maybe should have discussed the video with her before you purchased it. If you have been together for 3 years, you should be able to discuss the questionable things in your love making. If one of you is not satisfied or wants to try something new, you need to talk about it or even laugh about it. Conversations like this are usually helpful and do create more intimacy. It also shows that you care enough to figure out how to make it better together.
2007-01-01 04:07:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i believe that that is very imported in a relationship to be open about you need to maybe ex-plane to her that you are satisfied with the lovemaking but you just feel that it could be better i be live that its always good to try different things it makes the relationship more interment communication is very important for me it was a little odd at first and still is but we have to get out of are comfort zone its hard at times i think for woman more then it is for the man
2007-01-01 04:16:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends how open minded she can be about it.
it doesnt sound like she liked the idea maybe she feels that you are telling her that she is not doing whatever you guys are suppose to be doing the right way. you should clear the air of that.
also the idea of watching another couple have sex isnt the best way to improve your sex life but you never know until you try. and personally i wouldnt be able to do it but you have to convince her.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-01-01 04:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by Niko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that she took it personally, like you were saying that she was not good enough...So it might have been the way you presented it to her...What you might try to do is get the video anyway, but also reassure her that she is wonderful, but maybe the both of you can get some information that would help each of you get more pleasure...and that you want to make sure that you are doing everything you can do to please her...
2007-01-01 04:00:37 · answer #5 · answered by Mechelle C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes why not because you been in the relation ship for 3 years now.its good to have does video and it is not porn that really OK.its love making video, i no Guss i have one to.but maybe she think that's she doesn't do good loving,talk with her that will open the conversation you no that you are 2 in this relation ship so talk talk ......about it.hope you good luck .i don't think there any offense your both in your 40`s,and i don't think you have been out of line.that's my opinion,take it or leave it.its all about you and her.
2007-01-01 04:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by cilia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She just needs some reassurance. Reassure her that you're not questioning her "technique", as it were - though hopefully in a better way than I just put it. And talk about it. Lots.
Sex is great to talk about, anyway, it brings people closer.
Well, if they let it. :)
2007-01-01 04:04:57 · answer #7 · answered by dagorath1123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes dear you were way out of line! It's not like either of you are in your prime. She probably feels like she is lacking and not able to do the things she use to do and you just confirmed that with your suggestion. You need to find a better way to make suggestions!
2007-01-01 03:59:50 · answer #8 · answered by flirt6angel 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should have showed her...in bed. NOW she's got a complex that she's doing something wrong. Good luck, next time you'll know better.
2007-01-01 03:59:46 · answer #9 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your life! If you are not satisfied then you better let her know. Making things better is great if the other person is willing to explore with you!
2007-01-01 04:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋