My bf & I have been together for 6 yrs, & recently we became engaged. I'm 33 & he's 35. I know I'm no Playboy model or anything like that, but I think I'm fairly attractive. I'm about 15 lbs overweight (which I am working on losing), my breasts aren't large (but very perky I must say). I'm a brunette (though he likes blondes), and have a very ample booty. Though he does write little notes telling me I'm "hot" or "sexy" or whatever, there are times I don't feel like he thinks I'm attractive. Like last night, a preview for "Beauty & the Geek" came on & I jokingly asked if I were the "Geek." He said that we both were. I took this as just because I may not measure up to these bikini-clad-big-boobed-not-an-ounce-of-fat chicks, that I am not beautiful. I know that I am smart, but I also want to be & feel beautiful (I think that's important for most women). This has been a huge issue in our relationship, but I don't know if the issue is him or my own self esteem & insecurity. Help, please.
2007-01-01 03:41:03 · 9 answers · asked by dmh1973 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You both have self esteem issues (especially if he was sincere when he said you were both geeks) if his self esteem was higher, he would compliment you more often - boosting your self esteem and it would be a win win situation. If I were dating you and you are as you described (and I truly loved you) I would compliment you all the time. You sound hot to me - perky breasts are way better than big saggy ones! Oh and how could anyone resist "ample booty?"
Think about it long and hard before you commit to a relationship where you are going to be less than satisfied. If you are questioning his image of you now you are only setting yourself up for failure down the road (when you get older and inevitably less attractive).
Here is a good test, go out and get a new hairdo or outfit or something to increase your sexual image and if he notices and makes genuine compliments - you still have a chance. Otherwise no. See - women should realize that they need to work to get guys to give compliments sometimes. Making yourself more appealing will get you the compliments you want and make him happy cause he feels like he's scoring with a hottie.
2007-01-01 03:53:14 · answer #1 · answered by John P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are taking this way wrong. Give the guy a break! I know how it feels to think your unattractive. I know how insecurity and low self esteem can rake your emotions. You need to remember that those are your feelings not his. Don't over read into what he said we as women do that so often and men just don't have a chance. They will lose every time. Men don't think like we do they are totally wired differently that is what makes them unique. Tell him he is so lucky that you are into geeks, cause if you weren't wow! he would be devastated! Chin up and let it go! congrats on the upcoming wedding.
Kourtnie D.
2007-01-01 03:51:12 · answer #2 · answered by Kourtnie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a lot of the same issues with myself and i believe it has a lot to do with me and my low self esteem and insecurity's i also just got engaged also and i am always saying how i am fat and he is telling me that i am not and it makes him mad that i always say that I've also learned that i have a bad self body image of my self its hard but i try to daily say positive things to my self while looking in the mirror some times i feel crazy doing it but t does help there are books out there to help with this go to a book store and resources the issue we have to work on are self nobody else can do it for use and we don't want to loose the love of are life because of how we feel about are self also talk with him about your feelings and that my also help you to see your self through other peoples eyes
2007-01-01 04:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your judging yourself 2hard and dealing with some issues that might run a little deeper than what people see on the surface. He's with you 4 a reason, because he thinks you're beautiful, & smart, & interesting, & all the things you doubt about yourself. A companion loves u flaws and all. Remember your a couple, this is a relationship not a 1st impression. Focus on what things you do like about yourself rather than the things you dont like.
2007-01-01 03:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by Trinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't have a problem with it, so why should you. Just try and be the best you can be and don't worry about what other people think. And congratulations on getting engaged. I hope you have a happy life together.
2007-01-01 03:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by ♥iluvfoodnetwork♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh lovly dear :-( even i hav this problem im married for just 5 months and my husband says that im short
i have a big nose big lips and soon
and he himself proposed me for the marraige and now saying me all this
this is the attitude of every husband dont take it serious at all
see ur self in mirror and justify ur beauty ur self dont allow any one to say anything on ur personality after all god made us like that if god does'nt have any objection who the hell are they
happy new year and dont take it serious
2007-01-01 03:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by First L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you and you should know it. He loves your face and your body to. I`m sure you are very beautiful and you shuold think so too.If you think you need to lose weight then do it. Everything will be alright. YOUR GETTING MARRIED!!!!Congraduloations! Happy Holidays!
2007-01-01 03:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey gal guys doesnt praise u vry often..... but wenever dey do , dey mean it..... so be happy darling. atleast he praises u....
2007-01-01 03:48:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, if he luvs u fo who u r, and u luv him back, dats all it matters. remember, no one is perfect...
2007-01-01 03:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by herimos 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋