My neighbor(Joe) who I have fallen head over heels for is really confusing me. I've known Joe for about half a year, and a couple of weeks ago when we were hanging out........well....I'm not entirely sure how it happened..but he ended up massaging and kissing my breasts. I told myseld that it wouldn't happen again, but it has everytime since.(a total of five times)
What is this guy's deal? Does he like me? Or is he just using me? Or is it a little of both?
I wish I could say no to him, but he's just so sweet. he always is there for me, and he makes me laugh when I'm having a bad day. But I want him to respect me........yet I also want him....what should I do?
2007-01-01 03:36:40 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
figure out what you REALLY want, and then stand by your decision. be honest with him.
2007-01-01 03:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by Wesley C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really wanna know your ages, but whatever the case friends with benefits isnt alsways such a bad thing, if there is no emotional attachment. But the fact that you're already moving in that direction of feelings, simply by talking about how sweet he is and what not, indicates feelings will arise somewhere. And the fact that you're so flattered by his attention makes me wonder how secure you are & how gullible he sees you as.... You have 2 take in2 consideration also that he's your neighbor, and not some guy u pick up a phone & call 2meet. So distancing yourself from him if things go bad for ANY reason, is going 2 be difficult. I think i would think this 1 thru long & hard, & quite honestly, im not so sure i would be 100% comfortable with the situation
2007-01-01 11:42:04 · answer #2 · answered by Trinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect is likely already out the window. All too often guys will do and say whatever they can to get what he has got from you. He is not likely to want to stop there. There will come a time that he will ask for and try for "just a little bit more," or "can you at least make ME feel good." Though he may in fact like you, the fact that thing have gotten physical was too fast is not really a good sign. How many actual dates has he offered??? Doesn't sound too promising to me, sorry.
2007-01-01 11:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by Mike R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Under what circumstances is he "always there for you?" Since you "wish you could say no" why is that? He will never respect you, and be lucky you didn't have sex with him. This is not a relationship, this is not "falling head over heels" and this is definitely not a good idea. If you are under 20 you should find the oldest person you can trust (aunt/brother/someone else's mom or dad) and get their opinion.
2007-01-01 11:42:51 · answer #4 · answered by Valley Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be really honest with him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him why you have not said no thus far. Then be very clear with him as to "it is not to happen again." He is not to put the moves on you unless he is willing to be in a relationship with you. Then follow through with it. If he is getting without having to be in a relationship then he has no reason to be in one with you. You need to stand your ground and trust yourself that if this guy is for you he will come around and if he is not then he wont. Just know that boundries get pushed, if you do not stand in them then they are not boundries. It may take a little bit of time, but this guy will most likely come around in my opinoin. You two seem to be good friends and it seems to be slipping into something more. You just need to be really clear. If you care about him and yourself then you need to be able to trust that you can talk to him as you have all along. Be honest and open, be vulnerable...believe that this guy will listen as he allways has and be honest with you all the same. Give him a call. Be sweet, nice , be yourself.
2007-01-01 11:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time your with him and you see things headed into a sexual direction ask him what it means. If he doesnt know what you mean then explain that you dont do this with men that are just friends and that you like him very much but need to know where the 2 of you stand. If he says he thinks of you as a good friend then you need to keep it on a friend level and not let him use you sexually. If he is interested in you as a girlfriend then take it from there and do what feels natural.
2007-01-01 11:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he will keep on doing that if you let him. If youi tell him to stop he should. But it's up to you tosee if he's only using you are he really likes you. But respect is out the window on this one especially if he's massing and kissing your breasts, what's next making love with you. Then you can really know if he just want's some or he really likes you. Becasue once he gets what he wants he will either tell you he likes you or just whenever he sees you he will want sex.
2007-01-01 11:46:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's see... friends with benefits.
You don't know how it happened, but it did, and it has happened 4 times since, even though you said you wouldn't let it happen again. Good story. Stick to it. Someone will eventually believe it.
What is this guy's deal? Hmmm. What is YOUR deal? Hmmm.
Seems like mutual playtime to me. Just have him put a sock on it. You won't be neighbors forever.
2007-01-01 11:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by nocable4unow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a new relationship label for we are having sex but I'm not into committing to you and when I'm done don't be upset because we are just friends. The best part is that it works both ways. You can end things when you want. The question is was he "befriending you to get in your pants?" If so is he really a friend?
2007-01-01 11:42:54 · answer #9 · answered by Simone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out if he is interested in doing other things rather than what you have been doing, non sexual things. If he only wants one thing from you, then you will know, if not and he wants to have a real relationship with you, then go for it if you have the feelings for him. Don't just lay down for him and let him have his way, you will only be used. See if he wants more than just "benefits" or not. If all he wants is your body, then he doesn't respect you now and never will.
2007-01-01 11:51:29 · answer #10 · answered by fman440 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm now that is a tricky question. 1st is he involved with someone that you know of? and second you have to ask Joe what is he expecting to get out of this relationship? if he is looking for a new lady friend or just looking for a booty call every now and them? but you have to be sure of what is wants out of the relationship or else you'll fall for him and he's into someone else a sure nuff heart breaker.
2007-01-01 11:47:35 · answer #11 · answered by ladyofthe night 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋