Parenting 102 Second Class. Custody help or suggestions?

Question

I have custody of my two children from a dissolved marriage. My problem is personal where I get disturbed very easily by what I hear is going on. You see, how much do I have a right to complain, or should I take steps if I feel uncomfortable with what is going on at their mother's place?

My main concerns being:

1. She is inconsistent in visitation, and backs out 3-4 times a month. She is supposed to visit overnight with them 2-3 times a week.

2. Her current boyfriend drinks moderately. Last time I went to pick up my boys there was a half empty can on the table with their mother in the other room.

3. She is taking them overnight in a one room motel room. Her boyfriend stays with them and they put up a "blanket" between the two bed areas so they can do their "hanky panky".

Am I being overprotective? Or am I being correctly cautious? Do I have any rights, I mean seriously is this enough grounds to take this to court and perhaps suggest different arrangements?

Okay, thank you all. I am considering all said. I do appreciate you taking this seriously and answering accordingly.

I'd give more details but the answers were enough without em.

Answer 1

1. She doesn't have to take her visitation. Unfortunately, you have to have them ready for her to take them in case she does decide to show up to get them. If you don't have them ready, you would be in trouble.

2. Unless there is something in the custody order stating no drinking around tht kids at all, this isn't an issue unless she and boyfriend are getting drunk or letting the kids drink.

3. You might be able to request (through the courts) supervised visitation or that she not have sex when the kids are there. This is a tough one, however.

Good luck. Just be happy that you get the kids most of the time. And remember not to speak bad about their mother to the kids. Even if she's messed up, she is still their mother and they still love her.

Answer 2

I would tell her she can only have the children for a few hours once or twice a week, till she can find better housing arrangements. You say moderate drinking. Is this everyday, more than 1 at a time? How much is moderate? If it is once or twice a week, and is only one to unwind after work, it don't sound to bad. if he is getting blasted though that is not good. You also have to wonder can she feed them properly if living in a motel, and does she have enough money to care for them when she has them. I have know people who live this way and all were lazy, addicted to something, and definitely not responsible enough to have kids with them unsupervised. You also have know idea who else is in those other motel rooms, and there is a lot of sick people out there. Who might be capable of hurting your children if given the chance. I would stop letting her take them overnight now. Do not wait for a court date, and when you go to court tell the judge the situation and have documented proof. Also if you remember write down the dates she was supposed to show up and didn't it shows irresponsibility on her part. My cousin is a drug addict, and he leaves in a cheap motel so he can afford his habit. Hope this helps. Good Luck.

Answer 3

I definitely understand your concerns ... I think you'd have to get viable proof. Record conversations of her backing out of visits, try to get as much proof in hand as possible since most times when it comes to words it becomes difficult to prove much, and I think the ages of the children will make a difference. If you were to go to court, they'll usually appoint someone to discuss with your children what goes on ... but remember this becomes a two way street and vengeful parents sometimes "create" situations to get back ... good luck ... and no caring is not overprotective, all parents should have concerns about what children are exposed to.

Answer 4

i think you can take this to court and have the kids visit her on supervised visits,sounds like she doesn`t care that much anyways