How do you deal with your toddler's temper tantrums?

Question

My son is 15 months and he just recently started throwing temper tantrums- sitting on the floor really hard, sometimes throwing himself backwards, kicking his legs, so I was curious how everyone else delt with them, what you did or didn't do. I'm not about spanking, so I will not do that. And I've found ignoring him helps a lot (as long as he isn't hurt).

Also- how long did this last?

I never said I didn't discipline him- I do, just not by spanking- he's only 15 months old, and he still can't fully communicate- but I do help teach him things like saying"Up" when he wants up instead of whining for example.

Also-he's off the bottle- on sippy cups! And he only gets 2-3 servings of milk per day, so I'm not gonna reward him with any food or drink if he's throwing a fit.

Answer 1

DONT Spank. Spanking has it's p;ace, but not at that age. Patients is important. Stand your ground firmly and CALMLY try to explain the situation, (which won't worK), then add in the fact that no mater how much they scream it's not going to change the answer. After than pretty much ignor them. OH you might say things like, I will talk to you or listen to you when you stop yelling at me. As a parent you have to be th ebigger person, this doesn't happen often anymore. We have too many Parents that still aren't grown, be the grown up. Your kids will grow and make you pround if they are watered the right way.

Answer 2

Ignoring, is good, send him to his room to have them, do a little time out. Basically watch super nanny she seems to know a lot about that. I am a spanker. The key thing here is consistantsy. It does not matter the discipline method, what matters is that you inforce it each and every time. If you tell them they will get time out, if they don't stop the tantrum give time out. If you say go to your room, and he she does not go, then physically carry them and close the door. Allow them to come out when they are calm and make them do what they were suppose to be doing when the tantrum happened. Make them apologize if they harmed someone and then forgive and forget do not bring up a tantrum from two hours ago or make threats that you do not intend to go through with. Most of all, do not put it all on dad or mom who is working. You are going to get it when they get home. This is pointless and they don't even remember what they are getting in trouble for. Then that parent that has to do the discipline when they first walk through the door is the least like parent and proper bonding does not occur, not to mention that parent gets tired of being the meany. Now when dad or working mom is at home and something occurs then that parent should be involved so the non working parent is not always the meany either.

Answer 3

I agree with no spanking. Even at 15 months he is old enough to understand the word no, and putting him in his room for 5 minutes will not kill him. Both my sons banged their heads on the floors, dressers, and walls, and threw themselves back, and frontwards. Try putting him in his room for time out, let him know you wont tolerate his behavior. Start his 5 minutes when the tantrum stops. Don't close the door of his room, but don't go in there either. His room should already be safe so you shouldn't worry about him getting hurt, aside from some self afflicted bruises. It will be hard, but stick with it, do the same thing for every tantrum, and he'll get the idea, and you wont have to deal with it as long as those mothers who do spank. Spanking angers the child more, and may encourage more violence.

Answer 4

Yep, it's for the attention and to control you. She needs to know that you're the one in charge.

Even though it's not PC to say you can punish or train a 15 month old, you can.

Training is a lost art in our society of let-kids-do-their-own-thing, but is vitally important. Everything you do is training. Think of it as simply as when you put on your coat, your child knows you're going outside or when you're fillling up a sippy cup, he knows he's going to get something to drink.

Training is simple and at 15 months your son should know that you are the one in charge and that no means no. This will make things SOOOO much easier in the long run.

To teach him no, the consequences for his actions have to get him either nothing or negative. It doesn't have to be painful, just not pleasant. Start with ignoring it, but you have to truly ignore it. If you try to comfort him, you're not ignoring him. If you feel sorry for him afterwards, you're not ignoring it.

He's probably doing it because you've said no about something??? If so, stick with your 'no'. Let's say you say no, he can't touch the plant (or whatever). Don't move the plant! He should just not touch it. We're not talking about having dangerous things around, just that there are things you have rules about. Say no and mean it. If he throws himself down, then walk out of the room. (keep an eye on him, but don't let him see you).

The first few times you have to be ready to be the one with more endurance and patience, but after he learns what no means, it will be easy. Just be consistant. If he hurts himself by flinging himself around then he's just trained himself not to do that again.

As a mom it is our instinct to baby our babies. Most of the time this is great, but sometimes we have to give tough love. Know that you are the parent. You are the grown up! You are the one with many, many more years of experience and that has earned you the right to be in charge!!

Love isn't just being nice. It's doing the right thing for you child simply because it's the best for him-whether he knows it or not!

Answer 5

I think you are doing the right thing by ignoring him. Doing anything else would jsut encourage the behaviour. As long as he is in an open space, let him go. He will eventully learn that it does not get him anywhere. It is a normal phase.

Which by the way, to the other people answering. It does not matter how much you discipline or "spank" (which I do not believe in) some children jsut throw temper tantrums. It has nothing to do with parenting skills.

Answer 6

My daughter does this too. Best thing I do is give her that, Oh My Goodness look then walk away. It makes her more mad but within a minute she'll come crying to me for a hug and to apologize. Maybe that will work. I don't really think there is much we can do though until they outgrow the phase. They won't understand punishments and since they are still learning the world a lot frustrates them.

She started at around 14-15 months and is still doing it at 21 months...but then again girls are emotional wrecks

Answer 7

It's very normal at this stagge. They are learning more about how to control their bodies, and learning more about what they do and don't like. My son would have meltdowns when his dad left at night for work and would slam his head on the floor.

I would stay with him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself, but don't let him get a rise out of you with it. Stay calm. If you can't remaiin calm, put him in his crib or somewhere he can stay safe and go into another room or outside and take a minute or two to relax.

I am pro spanking, but I think it is fruitless to spank a child over something like this. I don't consider this an act of manipulation, but an overload of emotion without him having full resources to handle them.

Answer 8

Ignoring is not a good idea.
That can seriously harm your relationship with your child, even at such an early age yes.


If your not about disciplining your child, I'm not sure what else you can do.

There is a reason that people have spanked their children for hundreds of years succsessfully and now when more and more are not why kids are getting out of hand now.

Children need disciplin, if you love your child then you will disciplin them, not to hurt them or out of anger but because you want them to be well rounded and to obey you because you know things that they don't and if they don't listen to you then they could harm themselves.

Now I'm not saying all out spank the kid, but there are little things, like lightly squeeze the hand or smack the hand, not too hard. or pat the butt.

You don't want your child to be unruly and hurt themselves in life.

Answer 9

With my eldest son, who is now 3, I would ignore him until there was a lull in the storm and calmly ask him "Are you done? If you're done, I'd like you to .........(pick up your blocks, come get a new diaper, sit down on the couch until I'm done with dinner, etc...). " He would sometimes do what I'd asked. Other times, the tantrum would continue. I would then say to him, " Oh, you're not done? Can you please finish your tantrum in your room?" I would then walk/carry him to his room and put him down on the floor. Before I would leave I would tell him, "I'll be back in a few minutes or you can come and get me when you're done. "

Children need us to validate their feelings but not give in to them at the same time. This technique worked really well with my son.

Answer 10

Well, if you aren't going to give a potch on the behind, usually the most effective means to relieve yourself of your toddlers tantrums, then your only bet is to ignore them. Tell him that you will not pay attention to him until he comes up to you and asks for the attention through love, Don't fool yourself, or let others fool you that he won't understand. He most definitely will, though you may have to repeat yourself. Be firm. Unless he has bashed his head open, don't pay him any mind until he comes to you for a hug or to play.

But I have to add that there is nothing wrong with a potch on the behind to get the kids attention. Most of us were punished that way growing up, it's not until recently that it's become a bad thing. And it's not until recently that I have seen so many spoiled undisciplined brats. I'm not accusing you of not disciplining your child. But it seems that any form of discipline is becoming abuse.