I want to know from both men and women, why when the love and sex is so good and a child is conceived ( as they say by accident). Why does it becomes a blaming game or know "I never loved you" and all the name calling. If the loving was so good, why cant the child be the fruit of such good loving and be blessed with that loving that conceived it instead of blamed and punished.
2007-01-01 02:45:49 · 10 answers · asked by C S 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It takes so much maturity to fall out of love and stay friends even if it is for the children's sake. Most adults don't know the meaning of sex and love-making. We don't understand or can't think past our genitalia to make sure we are doing the right thing. The big problem is that most adults end up growing up with their children so by the time they are grandparents, that's when they have a clue. It doesn't matter if you are 20 or 40 when you conceive, we all make the same mistakes at one point or another.
2007-01-01 02:52:33 · answer #1 · answered by goodgrleason 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know. Best guess is that a lot of people having oops' are not yet adults themselves. The maturity just isn't there. My ex husband yelled at me for getting pregnant...when it was his and we were married. I told him that he could leave I would love the child on my own. I had a miscarrage. Him placing the blame only showed me how immature he was/is. We made the child out of what I thought was love...I wanted to love the child...he wanted it to dissapear.
People make mistakes and often those mistakes are not very well thought out. I know my mothers fertile history. I made sure that I really wanted a child before becoming sexually active with someone because I knew the what could happen. With my ex I failed to mention it. My mistake, I can own that. Lesson learned I am remarried to a man that I made sure knew about my fertile history and that of my mothers. I told him that condoms and such don't always work on me. I told him that I was ready to have a child and I would leave it to him to decide as I cannot take birth control. I do have other ways of preventing an oops...but even at that you have to be careful...one year later we are married and now I am pregnant. Sorry getting off subject.
I think our society is so driven by instint gratification that some people have a tendence to forget the 'long run'. Their needs come before their child's needs...otherwise they would see an innocent child, it wasn't their fault and all they want is love and guidance. They need parents.
2007-01-01 03:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by Jel 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure that the child can't be the fruit of such good loving. It depends on the parents. To blame a child for the parents' soured relationship is misdirected.
My girlfriend and I have recently split up and she is due in March. We both love this child and I cannot imagine that he won't know that he is loved by both of us.
2007-01-01 03:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by honey_im_homer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Parents tend to get involved with revenge and/or defensive strategies, and often lose sight of what the most important goal should be, “What is in the best interest of the child?” We get caught up in the “He did this because she did that” and we forget, or don’t see, what it is doing to the child.
I would like to think, this bickering and fighting usually fades away, and the child is made the most important goal. Whether you are the child or one of the parents, take a deep breath and talk to one another.
2007-01-04 17:13:59 · answer #4 · answered by spoiledbrat30x3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I had my first child I wasn't ready for it. I felt trapped. Since the object of my entrapment was the child, he became the target of my outlet.
Don't worry, I grew out of it after a short while and learned to love him. But at the root of the problem was a lack of maturity on my part.
All in all, we had 4 children. You want to know why we had 4? Because we didn't want 5. But all of them are loved.
2007-01-01 02:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by tercir2006 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what happens when people start thinking with their genitalia instead of their brains. Not enough emphasis is put on marriage and values just jump in the sack and see what happens welllll hey the kid comes along and there is a tendency to abuse them all their lives so we raise generation after generation of dysfunctional people
2007-01-01 03:00:59 · answer #6 · answered by L J 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sexual gratification is not love.
Safe sex is not using a condom.
Children are not borne out of love, they are borne in love.
Whether or not you like someone has no bearing on whether you love them or not. You can love someone, and not like who they are.
Most people do not have a clue about their own lives, much less yours or anyone else's.
2007-01-01 04:01:10 · answer #7 · answered by beagle1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say this is lust, not love. Just because two people are attracted to each other physically doesn't mean they are meant for each other and should have children.
2007-01-01 02:50:11 · answer #8 · answered by Meridianhawk42 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lack of good communication,selfishness,greed,fear,mostly
we don't seem to know how or want to learn.
2007-01-01 02:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by thresher 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
because its easier to blame the kid than to blame yourself
2007-01-01 03:20:01 · answer #10 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋